Help me how to be smily always...?

[venkat]

Hello,
I am feeling thing like acting while smile so i am unable maintain for a long time help me to keep so..s
Thanks
Venkat

[S. Earl Martin]

I don't get the impression that english is your first language? If you are asking how to be happy all the time or at least appear to be happy? That is difficult. I knew someone who was very close to me no matter what happened she would smile and say "it's okay" and would act like nothing would bother her. Eventually she had a nervous break down. Because she wasn't dealing with the emotional baggage of the problems. It is good if we don't allow our emotions to control us, but to repress our emotions is not healthy. We must be realistic about how we feel and deal with it.

[venkat]

S.Earl Martin,

Ah, Yes English not my first language.
Any way,
What I mean, a better option to behave comfortable with people. That too with smile.

Thanks
venkat

[S. Earl Martin]

I think you are asking me how to have self confidence? If that is the case? My personal experience is to be sure of what you are doing and saying. Try to fit in with your surroundings. If the occasion is about A? Try to be knowledgable about A and deal with A.
If the occasion is about B? The same applies. This way you don't look out of place. Knowledge is power. Power builds confidence.

It is what you know.
What you think you know.
What you don't know. 
What you can't know.

This gives you the best grasp of what is real. Power is all around us. Most people don't seek it out. Watch for ways to gain power and this gives you more control, but how you use this power is a choice? Are you being selfish and controlling? Or are you helping others? 

[venkat]

Good Morning,
Can you provide me, how to fit in with surroundings fast?
Thanks,
Venkat

[S. Earl Martin]

That would depend on how you want to fit? Do you want to just blend in? Do you want to be accepted? Do you want to be in control? Do you mean that you want people to like you? I am not sure what you mean? You use the term surroundings? Sorry that could mean that you want to hide?

[venkat]

I am sry, i am unable to express. What i exactly mean i will take huge time to mingle with people and that too i feel some shy, and automatically i'll loose my behavior at new people. This is one of my experience,each time when i entered the class i feel some inconvenience and even i am not that much interactive with all. Only few friends i know for the last four years.

Thanks,
venkat

[S. Earl Martin]

Okay I get it. You are shy and asking how to feel comfortable around other people?

First of all when you are in any situation where you feel anxious. Remember to breath normally. This is very important. Many people become disoriented or even pass out because they either breath very quickly or they stop breathing all together.

Second try to think about things to do or say once you get to the sitation. What subjects might be of interest to other people and research them. Be prepared before hand so you look like you are informed and in control. If someone asks you something you don't know? Don't panic. Just say I will have to look into that. Or turn it around by saying. That's an interesting subject. What do you think?

Third avoid doing anything to make yourself look stupid. Know proper etiquette or manners. Dress appropriately. If the situation is about a certain subject? Research the subject.

Forth If people don't know you? Then introduce yourself and look confidant. Look people in the eye. If someone looks you in the eye don't look away. Meet their gaze. This is a social test. It is the same with animals. It is a test of dominance. But don't stare or you make people nervous. If you are interested in a girl? Find out if she is avalible. If she is then look her way with a confidant look several times before you introduce yourself. Practice different looks in the mirror before hand. Alot of communication is none verbal. So the way your expression looks is very important.

Fifth Be realistic about who you are. Your age, physical features and amount of wealth you possess is going to figure into how most people react to you. It is unfortunate, but true. It doesn't mean you can't have a social life, but in society status is earned. If you want to marry a rich girl? Most of the time you have to be rich. Unless you have something else to offer. You might be an actor or rock star or something. You don't have money, but you have fame. Use what you have to your advantage.

The most important thing is just be your self and if some one doesn't like that to bad. There are billions of people in the world. Just go out and have fun and good luck. Peace!

[venkat]

Really useful,
I promise YOU,I work on your points.
Next, I am little bit afraid of my food habits. My height 5.9 feet,weight 49 a poor body mass index ratio. Now i wish to take care of that,but i failed many times because only some times it feel important for me. How to make food items favorite any time..?
Thanking you,
venkat

[S. Earl Martin]

You are what you eat. Most western style foods contain natural and artificial flavorings. These are not flavors at all. They are addictive drugs that work just like Cocaine and other addictive substances. When you eat them you get a physical reaction that you associate with eating, but is really a feeling. You think"this tastes good", but really it is"this feels good". Natural foods don't have these so they don't taste good anymore wants you start eating prepared food. Fast food is loaded with these. I have always eaten natural foods and didn't really like instant, microwave or fastfoods. If you are from India or Pakistan? Or somewhere they still have more naturally prepared foods I would eat those.

Also carbonated beverages cause a lot of health problems. In order to burn something it takes three things. In order to eat we must burn calories and simple sugars.
1. Fuel. This would be the simple sugars and calories
2. An ignition source. This would be the acid produced in our stomach.
3. Oxygen. When we drink carbonated beverages it floods our system with carbon dioxide. This stops us from digesting food. So our body must store the calories. This causes obesity and sleep problems. The calories are released when we sleep because the carbon dioxide is out of our system. So the energy produced keeps us awake.

Also exercise is important. People today spend a lot of time sitting. If your enviornment is polluted? Bad air or water. It is important to go somewhere you can breath clean air and at least walk around.

As far as diet go's there are a lot of books on how to eat properly. The problem is people buy them and never read them. Or they don't want to change so they don't follow the advice.

The best way to change anything in your life is to set goals and plan a strategy to achieve your objectives. Good Luck.

[venkat]

Thank you Martin