Is My Therepist Ethical?

[Judyvan11]

My husband and I have been going to therepy for several months.  This past week I was totally blindsided by our therapist.  My husband and I had an argument in the morning of our appt.  Is was a very typical argument in which he manipulates me by frustrating me to the point of anger. His typical methods are bringing up things in the past, lying about agreements we have made previously concerning co-parenting of our teenage daughter and throwing his hands up and saying he is not going to have anything to do with raising her anymore. He also likes to bring others into our arguments who he feels side with him.  During our therepy appointment he brings up the fact that our two grown sons want to go to my family physician and demand that he examine me for anger issues and perscribe something to me to better control my anger.  Then the therapist took total focus on me and my relationship with my Father and how that was destroying my relationship with my husband and children.  Ironically, I have never discussed my relationship with my Father with my therepist. I was dumbfounded and am not at all pleased that this could have taken place.  Is it not her responsibility to discuss my relationship with my Father before making any kind of assessment on whether or not it effects my behavior today?  I personally do not feel that I act a thing like my Father, who was an extremely angry and bitter man.  Our two older sons have never once said anything to me regarding anger issues they think I may have. In a very non-confrontational manner I recanted to them what my husband told the therapist.  Our oldest son was angry and said he was sick and tired of his Father always trying to get the two of them to take his side so he could throw things in my face; our middle son agreed. Our oldest son then called my husband and told him to stop doing this. During our session, my husband and therepist contend that our sons are afraid to talk to me about my serious anger issues.  At one point, she told me I should just leave if I was not going to own the fact that I have serious anger issues.  She also went on to say that I am the most angry woman she has ever met in her life....which I find a very broad and unprofessional statement.  Ironically, while our session was taking place a woman was out-and-out screaming at her husband in the next room with that therapist!  Thoughts ?       

[Joni]

Since a therapist issupposed to be a neutral perty, I would not only get a new therapist, but I'd report her actions.

[gone]

I would ask this therapist for proof of her qualifications. Anyone can set up shop as a therapist, they don't have to be qualified and this woman certainly sounds unqualified and unknowledgeable in the therapy. She has got it ALL wrong. She should not refer to you relationship with your father, she should not take sides and even if she did think you the most angry person she'd ever met she certainly shouldn't say that, this woman is a complete unprofessional and will only serve to damage your relationships further.

[voodoo scientist]

I just want to pitch in and say that even if she's not unethical, she definitely seems incompetent.

Edit: However, I probably wouldn't rule out a few anger issues given your post. Maybe take that up as a possibility with a therapist you feel you can trust, though.

[gone]

I've just remembered I was in a waiting room and picked up a magazine & read the problem page and the 'counsellor' giving advice replied to a woman who was having problems with her husband  flirting with other women, to refuse him sex. That was a counsellor telling a woman she should not have sex with her husband until he stopped flirting.
A bribe. Using sex as a commodity to get what you want.

I could't believe it. What sort of counseller would give advice like that, and in a national reputable magazine 'Womans Own'..  The 'advice' is more likely to make her husband seek sex elsewhere and is just esculating the problem. Geeeezzz already!

And also reminded of Pamela Stevenson a famous comedian turned qualified psychologist who again misses the point a lot and tells people what they are experiencing based upon her assumption, which is for the most part, wrong.
When a famous rock star retold the story of his first sexual experience when he was 13 years old with a much older woman, he thought it was great, but Pamela Stevenson convinced him the experience had been rape, "You've been raped", she said over and over, and that he needed to come to terms with that? That is so wrong, messing with people's minds like that, they put their trust in the professional and don't realise they're talking shite.

My moto is if it feels wrong, it probably is.