A thought on (my) cognitive potential - Would love feedback

[liebebratsche]

Self worth. Self Esteem. Self Gratification.

Is it something that we inherit? Is it something we fabricate to ease a bruised ego? Perhaps for compliments and pity? The product of a bad childhood? Maybe it's all in our minds. Mushy bs that is hand fed to us by an over protective, emotional disorder ridden society. One that hosts radio shows to exploit young listeners minds and pasts by accusatory suggestions of subconscious sexual or physical abuse. One that suggests every bad mark on a child's report card is evidence of emotional neglect. A coddling culture that does anything it can to shift blame to the past; making selfishness, weakness, aggression and ignorance something that is out of our control. Our minds are the product of various forms of abuse and repressed memories.

Or is it all bs?

Of everything we claim effect on our psyche, how much of it is real? How much do we actually infect ourselves with paranoid assumptions? Can knowing more about our own consciousness actually hurt us? The human mind, along with it's body, is fragile. We can destroy ourselves without even lifting a finger.

The human mind is an interesting thing. (Not like that hasn't been said before.) What other creature with consciousness can destroy itself purely with thought? Are we really the superior and strong beings on this Earth, or are we the most vulnerable?

I often wonder if asking these questions is in vain. Asking myself questions that I can never answer nor even understand. Or - am I just a cynic? Am I just thick-skulled? How could I really be aware of my own mind's workings and potential?

I've spent so much energy trying to understand myself. Is that even possible? There is so much that my feeble mind cannot attempt to process. How useful can self-reflection really be? Why should I try so desperately to understand myself. I guess I'm missing the point. I've always missed the big picture.

Now, I wonder if this mindless amalgamation of words is useless. Are they just questions of a fool? A naive person who thinks they are an intellectual by asking "deep" questions. Or do I just have low self esteem?

I guess the real question I'm asking is if we have the potential or the facility to ever understand ourselves. There are no answers to the question I am asking. Humans can live their entire lives without ever understanding.

What I really want is the self-gratification by being classified as an intellectual. I want to ask important questions and give worth to the meat up in my skull. I wish so desperately to be one. I want nothing more than to have a point. To have purpose. I want to stretch my mind and really see what it can do. Perhaps writing isn't the correct outlet for this pursuit.

Self Gratification.

We live our lives for it. I live my life for it. Constantly hanging from threads of compliments and hints of respect. Or do I just do this? Do others come to terms with their cognitive potential and live the rest of their lives in peace knowing who they are and never wishing or wanting more? Is intellect only gauged upon the analysis of others? Are we only as smart as other people think we are?

Maybe I am just another damaged mind. I'm just another scribbled name on a skrink's prescription.

I am always frightened to know where my potential stops, where my mind will exhaust it's ability. I don't want to ever come to terms with my capabilities. I am just a childish mind that wishes they one day will discover they are a genius. I'm nothing more than a child that wishes silently at night that they are a superhero or a real-life Harry Potter. I guess I need to understand that I am not truly exceptional. I am no more special than every Joe I pass on the street. I will never accomplish anything life changing and I will never be a face and a name in a history book.

It all comes back to self gratification.

I wish there were answers. I wish it were black and white. Don't we all? Cliche, mindless gibberish is actually what I'm typing here. I convince myself that these questions are that of a brilliant mind, unique and valuable. But, it's not. Many have asked these questions - how does that make any of my scribblings special?

Sigh...


Best,
An anonymous female 20-something

[acousticeagle]

Maybe one of the things that is currently part of your thoughts about you is that you have come to a place of self-awareness, or a greater self-awareness in your soul's own evolution, and I would look at this as a good thing. An individual in its uniqueness is its own universe: we are composed of body and mind. The external is the body that the mind controls, the rest is all mind, how we see ourselves, others, how we see ourselves with others and the world we inhabit. We cannot help but be self-gratuitous.

Within many is the need to feel special or unique - even ambitious for one's own personal success. Within that, one can be even envious of others - as long as that envy - and ambition - works to establish on a path of personal self-fulfillment (that does no intentional harm to others of course).

I think that people with an intellectual, self-aware sense will often reach places of striving to further self-discovery. Over time and decades you will find yourself changing. Some things in life will come and build you up, some to break you down. But as long as you keep the eye on the prize, as it were [being your own success for your own character's sake], then you may well find yourself on a path that is one less travelled.

For those seeking to find satisfaction in intellectualism - a worthy goal as the mind is continually exercised - will find that others may appear not to understand them and, in that, you might find that it can be a lonelier place, but ultimately one does what one can to find that personal fulfillment outside of what others might think - or more correctly - what one may think others might think; not so much with the flow but against it.

Personally I have found that past the energy and the beauty of youth, one can rely on wisdom that can come by life experienced and by the valuing of virtues like humilty and taking burdens of responsibility as they present.

So, I would suggest not doubting your uniqueness. These are questions you are asking yourself now and they are very lucid and worthwhile asking.

[pixx]

Too much of analysis often brings no answer. Seek happiness - that usually works better than finding right from wrong (as there are no such things in a big picture where all approaches are being equal - black is just opposite of white but both are existent). Young as you state, you are still to discover a balance in your understanding. It will kick-in on its own.

Understanding oneself is tricky task - may take decades to accomplish. Do not hurry, yet continue asking and observing. Everyone is unique, this is a fact without doubt. Writing helps to observe yourself somewhat externally. It could also help to move your focus from yourself to others - try to understand someone else, and then try to seek how others perceive you. It often leads to excellent insights. Try to answer your questions too, then see if you are really satisfied with your answers. Then collect answers on same questions from other people - it helps learning that no one can think of all possible answers to a question and that perception differs from person to person. You may easily find your uniqueness and genius there.

Oh and yes. Almost forgot. In many cases making impact on a history is not healthy in some other cases it can be gratifying. Think of Jesus, Joan of Arc, JFK, but also think of Einstein or Roden. Somehow I believe that making BIG impact on history is NOT all that important, if you are going to loose your happiness. It depends mainly on a person what is most suitable to do. Not making any impact on a history is no less hard work - our uniqueness always makes some impact somewhere. To complete the circle, you may also choose to be unhappy - even that works for some of us.

[voodoo scientist]

I have now reigned about 50 years in victory or peace, beloved by my subjects, dreaded by my enemies, and respected by my allies. Riches and honors, power and pleasure, have waited on my call, nor does any earthly blessing appear to have been wanting to my felicity. In this situation, I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot. They amount to fourteen.

[pixx]

I have now reigned about 50 years in victory or peace, beloved by my subjects, dreaded by my enemies, and respected by my allies. Riches and honors, power and pleasure, have waited on my call, nor does any earthly blessing appear to have been wanting to my felicity. In this situation, I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot. They amount to fourteen.

O man! place not thy confidence in this present world!

Abd-ar-Rahman III

[voodoo scientist]

I don't like the last part.

Well done, though! Unless you Googled it, in which case, shame on you!

[pixx]

i am not flammable, too long in forums.

Since this is psychology forum You could possibly think as to why you have avoided this last part and why I made you angry by pointing that out.

In the meantime I accept shame and admit that I googled it !!!! (where is the cross to be nailed to?) as I never heard it before but seem interesting to me. On the other hand, in western schoolar culture, if you quote someone, you shall give reference but I assume posts here do not have to be that formal. Also, what the heck do I know, I do not base my knowledge in western schoolar culture.

On the third take last part bears most of the wisdom - do not believe humanity - just understood that it would be incomplete without it. Machiavelistic move huh?

Everyone has favorite quotes, and there are too many of them - I liked this one and it is applicable here - animum rege qui nisi paret imperat.

[voodoo scientist]

Shame on you.

It is true, though, one might ask why I avoided the last part (though frankly, it has been answered quite directly) and why it made me so angry. But then, you really have to question if it made me angry, or if you have your own motivations for perceiving anger in me. It could also have been a more lighthearted jab, borne in acknowledgment of a ruined game concocted to test who could place the quote. Or it could've been a setup all along, with me knowing full well that the probabilities that someone would Google the quote before someone correctly placed it were very good, as well as a ready-made answer.

At the same time, no one of them really rules out the other, do they?

[pixx]

Nice. you know, i know, together we do not know enough. Ignorance is not to shame, unwillingness to learn is. Its sound of words, like your dog listening. If I would be mod, last 4 will fly away. No sweet juice.