Beating Addiction - People cant accept the change

[randomboy]

Hi,

First of all, i hope people don't mind my posting on here as im not a Psychologist or a student of Psychology but i am hoping someone can either help or point me in the right direction. 

I used to be an alcoholic, for nearly 15 years it controlled my life but i finally conquered it and my life, and more importantly me as a person, has changed dramatically. My thoughts, outlook on life, priorities, what i will and wont accept from others, etc. but that's not what i am here for.

I've noticed that friends and family cant seem to accept that im different than i was and they seem to be finding it more difficult than i am. Its as though, when i was gripped by alcohol, they knew, or thought they knew who i was and it was easy for them because my character was "known"

I seem to remember that there is a school of thought in psychology on this issue, even a name for it if i remember but i cant seem to get any luck on google!! so im asking if anyone understands what i mean and am talking about and whether they can help me track down some literature on the subject.

Many thanks in advance

C

[iNuha]

Randomboy, congratulations to your achievements. You are in control. It's not important what people think you are. Essentially, it's who you think/know you are that's the catalyst of flux, self-actualization. Often times, we allow rife remarks of cronies to consume our energy. Memories do not live like people do, they will always remember you, whether things are good or bad. You do not have to be who you have always been.

Check out this book: "What To Say When You Talk To Your Self" by Shad Helmstetter, Ph. D.

[SWM]

RandomBoy, good to hear that you are doing well, what you are experiencing from your family members is something that many recovered/recovering substance users experience. the term most commonly used to describe this is codependency. this term has been adopted by other social sciences recently and the definition has become convoluted as a result.   

http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/codependency.htm has a definition of codependency which reflects the usage of the term that is relevant to yourself.

[randomboy]

Thank you both for taking the time to reply, their is some very useful information there to help me on my way!

Thanks