I have create this notes about how can someone create a more interesting and interactive life. I haven't study psychology or anything so I would like people who know something more into tis department to check it out and suggest any improvements or point any mistakes I may have done or if you would like to add something new.
What I actually target here is to make some notes about the actions someone can take since most books etc I found about it gives you a general "change your life" and let you wonder how can it be done of actual steps.
Here it is :
Targets :
-Interesting life
In order to achive that as a human you need other humans. That creates a list of subtargets that will make you a more social person. As you become more social, your interactions with others will also lead in a bigger variety of feelings and situations you will find your self in and a greater lack of 'everyday-life' which would lead to a boring life.
*Subtargets that will lead to it :
-Playful and funny character (not ridiculous or annoying)
-Successful aura (not necessary success it's self although it will probably be part of it)
-Socially brave (not afraid of people and see those around as possible parts of his social life, not threats)
-NOT lazy (taking part in anything that have interesting potencials BUT not in boring things as well OR create interesting potencials in boring things you can't avoid)
-Creative (wide imagination that will help in other subtargets)
-Human and feelings oriended (give more importance in the humans around you instead of the items like a girl/friend over an xbox AND give more importance in feelings over facts)
-Live your life (not the life others whant you to live)
Reaching subtargets
***** Playful and funny character *****
Keys :
- Inner child -
Theory : Hear the child inside you. Become a child again. Find interest in anything and create a game around it. Listen to your inner child and use the suggestions your inner grown up allows. Supervise the inner child in you and let it be a part of you instead of killing it.
Action : Watch children and see how they think. Remember the way you were thinking when you were a child. Imagine that you are again a child and that what you do, does not effect the people around you and let playful ideas come down to your head.
- Break inner social rules -
Theory : There is always a voice inside you telling you to avoid doing things. This voice can be wrong. There are social rules inside you that need to break. When you were a child they always told you to get serious. They were wrong. When you think something funny say it. Don't keep things inside. Insert a small filter to avoid been ridiculous and use it instead of big block that isolates your inner from your outer world.
Action : Imagine you are the only person in the world. Then insert a few imaginary friends and other-sex-mates ( it's importand that you see them as friendly people you know well and not as strangers that can be a threat) around you and create a new sociaty. Now let yourself think how it would react to this place without any social rules.
- Act -
Theory : Act when you think of something. Get involved into what interests you instead of only giving it a comment about it. Like a child explore what is infront of you instead of only looking at it and ignoring it like a serious grown up.
Action : Catch yourself ignoring things that interest you only because they would ruin your "serious grown up" image. Practice that part for a while and then start getting invovled when you catch yourself instead of walking by.
***** Successful aura *****
Keys :
- Confidence -
Theory : What stops you from been confident is the simulation what other people may think for you in your head. Been confident means to trust yourself in every level. Understand that none is perfect and focus on what you are best at. Allow yourself the thouht 'I may not be very good at *** yet but I can always improve '.
Action : Lack of confidence comes in situations when you are not sure about something or when you feel that your knowledge wont cover you. The best way to keep your cool and stay confident is to identify the situation, understand the skill or knowledge you think you lack and turn this situation into a practice game that will get you one step further into obtaining that knowledge of skill. That way you are now allowed to make any mistakes and you have no problem with that, after all the situation now is only a practice game.
- Friendly -
Theory : People are not friedly to protect themselves. Under the right circumstances everyone can be friedly or not. That means you need to create those circumstances and apply them everywhere. That allows you to be friedly to others since you know that you make them friedly against you and you don't need to have the threatening aura for protection. Think of people as old friends that you may have forget each other over the pass of time and they are always welcome to return to your social circle.
Action : Smile, do not insult people, include everyone in your playful acts and jokes. That way you create the circumstances for others to be friedly with you since you are no threat of any kind to them and that on it's turn makes it easier for you to become unconciously more friedly with them.
- Relaxed -
Theory : You are tense when you sense a threat around you. In order to relax you need to see the world as your safe playground. Becoming friendly and confidend is going to help on that. As long as you think of people around you as friendly intivituals instead of possible threats you have half part of what makes you relaxed. The other half is coming from you understanding that by been youself you do not insult anyone or give anyone something to judge you. Been among friends makes you relaxed for those 2 reasons. They do not threat you physicaly and they do not gudje who you are.
Action : Imagine that the people around you are all your good friends. It could also help if you try to focus on the now instead of the possible futures or any bad memories since the now is action-reaction and doesn't include the "what if" nervousness.
***** Socially brave *****
Keys :
- Replace reality -
Theory : To begin with, you don't live in a reality but in an angle of the reality which depents on your point of view. Changing your point of view is it's self a multithread process. What makes you "afraid" of people around you is your instict. It tells you that you should not trust strangers. The point here is to change your view of the reality in such an angle that people around you wont be strangers. Understand that everyone think the others around as stangers and everyone is keeping a distance from the other. In order to become socialized and create an interesting life you need to skip that gap and be able to remove that distance between you and anyone else.
Action : Talk to strangers. Simple things as what the time is etc. It will help you realize that when you feel the distance and talk to them, they are simply surprized and happy to asnwer your simple question or give you any directions. As you do this more and more your thinking about the people around you will change from threatening strangers to possible future friends, lovers etc that are just waiting for the distance to close.
- Chose possible future -
Theory : In order to be able and talk to other people you do not know, you must be able to overcome the thought that those people may threat you in any less than friendly way. You can do that by focusing your thoughts in the possible development of your chat to what you want.
Action : When you see a person you want to include in your social circle, imagine that in the future you will be with that person the way you want to be. For example when you see a nice girl imagine that in the future you and that girl will be dating, having fun together etc so you can block the opposite idea (that the girl will turn you down) which would make you nervous and "afaird" of talking to her.
***** NOT lazy *****
Keys :
- Focus on now -
Theory : When you focus on the future you see possible ends of the choise you have now which may make you reject the original idea. For example going out for a coffee. If you focus on the now you have the choice of going out for coffee or staying home. If you focus on the future you may compare the choices of going out and getting bored against the staying home and watch a movie. In reality if you had go out you could meet other people while staying home could make you bored. So in order to do things that could be interesting you need to think of the choice now and not the possible futures.
Action : When you have a choice compare only the current situations and chose the most interesting. Ignore possible future situations that will give the excuse to be lazy.
***** Creative *****
Keys :
- Imagination -
Theory : Imagination can be increased by getting new ideas and having new images, sounds, situations in your life. That wideness the variety of your memories and your brain can create more and more compinations of them.
Action : Offer yourself new ideas whenever you can (like going in different places, playing games, watching movies, listening music, meeting people with different culture etc)
- Think limitless -
Theory : Think out of the box. Do not put limits into your thoughts. Think about anything comes to your mind. Let your mind process things around it.
Action : When you have little thoughts about something you don't know like how the speaker in front of you works or some phylosophical questions like how the univerce is created, do not simply turn them down but go through with them and think about those things even if they do not seem to lead anywhere and even if they only seem to be a waste of time at that moment. After all the biggest waste is using your maind only to think what you need to shop for today or weather you need an umbrella or not for tomorrow.
***** Human and feelings oriended *****
Keys :
- Focus on feelings -
Theory : The main idea is that you become more of a human as you focus to your feelings and more of a robot as you focus on the facts. For example when you tell a story you can say what happened in details or you can tell what you feeled then and only mention the facts that leaded you to it.
Action : In every interesting situation try to focus on how you feel at that moment and try to input it in your mind. Latter (possibly at night before you go sleep) try to recall that situation and what exactly you felt through it.
- People over items -
Theory : When you focus on people instead of items you create more possibilities for yourself and you make them feel better. For example if you focus on the tv, you have as many possibilities it allows you to have for the time you watch (you may learn something about some animals, coocking, celebrities, the news or simply watch a movie/tv series etc) but if you focus on a person in the same room instead and chat with it you have a lot more possibilities (you may go out for coffee, learn things from that person, create interesting memories after you arange a nice experience etc).
Action : Whenever there are people around you, try to ignore the items even if they seem more interesting.
***** Live your life *****
Keys :
- Filter -
Theory : People around you always think they know better. Even if that is so, you must always make choices because you want to and not because they forced you into it. Most of the times the people surrounding you will give you suggestions about what should you do in order to increase your survivability. Some times though you may simply not like those suggestions (for example your parents suggest you to become a doctor to make more money but you don't like it). In such cases you should filter the suggestions accept them only as suggestions which you may or may not follow. There is no point living your life in a situation which you make more money but you hate your job instead of a situation where you don't make too much money but you love it.
Action : When your parents, friends etc try to talk to you into something, always try to filter their ideas as sggestions and see if it would be something you would like to do or not.
- Quality vs quantity -
Theory : Quality of life can also be called happiness. Quantity of life is also the timelife. A good idea is to try and have those too in balance since one can't be without the other. If you lack quality, you may end up killing your self which removes the quantity from the game and if you lack quantity you wont have enough time to feel the happiness in your life.
Action : Make choices that will help you have a good time but without destroying your body.
- Choices -
Theory : Everthing in your life is a choice. Even those you must do have actually choices involved. Recognize the choices around you and do not see things as must or must not. When you recognize more of your choices you understand them better and and open new possibilities.
Action : Try to recognize the choices between the actions you make. You may start with obvious ones but you should also try to look into more more untill you can see more of them.
Topic: Change your life (Read 522 times)
February 21, 2012, 05:48:10 PM