Ex-boyfriend pretends I'm still there

[heather64]

Hello everyone. This is my first post here and I was hoping I could get some thoughts on this behavior. My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago, unexpectedly, and we've maintained a little phone contact. We were together for more than 5 years, discussing marriage, and I moved to the other side of the country for him and his career. Lately he's been telling me that he pretends I'm there. He waves at the house when he leaves like he used to (at me), he tells "me" goodbye when he walks out the door, and tonight he sent me a message saying "We're watching (our fav tv show)." I asked who "we" was and he said "You and I." I'm honestly a little worried about this behavior. He tells me often how much he misses me and wishes he hadn't let me go, but he doesn't want to get married to me still. I'm not trying to get back together, I've distanced myself from him and have started to move on with my life. He's seeing a counselor, but his next appointment isn't for a few more days. Is this "hanging out with me" stuff a concern?

Thank You for reading!

[physx]

How rough was the break up? I think he's highly delusional and emotionally disturbed.

[heather64]

How rough was the break up? I think he's highly delusional and emotionally disturbed.

I called him yesterday to see how he was doing (because of this). And when I brought up that I was concerned, he tried to play it off like he wasn't completely serious. I know he was because he told me when he was crying. The breakup was 100% on him, it was not my decision. He was distant for a while after doing it, then leading up to the days where I was going to move, he got more emotional. The day I left (moved 2,000 miles), he called me really, really upset, saying he might have made the wrong decision. Since then, he's told me he can't do a lot of the things we used to do together. He still doesn't feel like cooking and he's found himself in tears numerous times. He's very lonely, he keeps stressing that. Yet when I ask him if he made the right decision, he said yes. He can't pin down one thing consistently. He's slipped to me a few times that he loves me, misses me, and even said he wishes he hadn't let me go. It throws my emotions for a loop every time he does this crap too.

He does have emotional issues because of his childhood. His father was emotionally abusive, his parents divorced when he was about 6, and his father died when he was 13, before he ever made peace with him. His anger issues stem from that. He's working through them right now.

[SWM]

Is this "hanging out with me" stuff a concern?

what concerns you about this Heather?

[heather64]

Is this "hanging out with me" stuff a concern?

what concerns you about this Heather?

I'm not sure why it concerns me exactly, it just doesn't seem like healthy behavior for a 25 year old. If I had died, that's different, but he broke up with me, it was his choice. It almost reminds me of having an imaginary friend.