Men-women ,sex and materialist society , self image?

[hortonpilot]

We take our personal image from a variety of things , who we are depends on many things and what we project.

Often wondered about this , men don't talk about sexual dis-function.
But sure do tell you about how they improve their chances with flashy toys to attract women.
We live in a society fairly dominated by the need to prove ourself and many take their self image from their possessions

What happens to the macho man who relies on his flashy house or  car to get a woman , at the end of the evening he gets into bed and can't perform.

Is the materialism we see a inverse measure of how we perform as people?

Horton

[gone]

I have no values in the material. The man you speak of who attracts a partner with his posessions will only attract a partner who values material posessions. These men I find repulsive. The women I find as awful.

I knew someone for 15+ years it was interesting that when refering to same people this was how she talked about them
Re:
Her sentence refering to Tom - He's got his own business & aparently a really nice apartment on the docks. Hmmmm.
Me on Tom - He's a control freak, I suspect he's on steroids, suffers from paranoia and I guess pays for hookers.

Her on Fergus "He's realy wealthy apparently he's loaded and owns loads of land"
Me on Fergus "All his fingers were the same size, a proper grafting farmer"

Her on Gerit "He's a millionaire, I'm the only one who's pulled a millionaire"
Me on Gerit "He's a freeloader and full of bullshit"

Her on Alan "He's in the business, he can get me things"
Me on Alan "He's a creap and a lap dog ughhhh"

You get the picture, some people can't see beyong the facade and by their choice of words in describing people demonstate they value the matieral & believe all that glitters really is gold.

I've tried hard to imagine if my life was seeing people for what they had, instead of who they are and I really can't imagine it. I think it would be very basic and very empty. I don't have all those material posessions but my life is so much richer than theirs. I know because I've spent time with people like that and they drop brand names (of wine & clothes & even designer dog food) into every sentence.. What sort of shallow living is that where the most interesting topic is yourself and what you buy?

The kind of man I'm attracted to, well sideburns do it for me (hehe) but really I like personality, that could mean intelligence, manerisms, humour etc.. But if someone tried to impress me with posessions they wouldn't attract me, but replulse me.

At the moment my dream man is Dave Grohl.
O my he's just so beautiful in looks and personality, so sexy..

[gone]

Sorry Horton I didn't answer your question but went off on a tangent.

I think the materialism in people is something that is spoonfed to them. They're not very intelligent and don't seek out things but instead accept what is given to them. Materialsim is what the economy is realiant upon. Therefore it is spoon fed to them (see Edward Bernays).
Intelligence isn't spoon fed to people but consumerism is. If you understand.

I don't think it's anything to do with how they perform, I think it demonstates a lack of intelligence (afterall how intelligent is is to get a new car every year? or get a new kitchen every 2 years or own 300 pairs of shoes? or try to attract a woman with posessions? is that intelligent behavoiur?
No it's the behavour of consumers, who makes consumers? the government via advertising agencies and media. They could make us value religion if they constantly spoon fed us religion but there's more money for bombs if people buy more rubbish & ugrade their old rubbish for new rubbish...
How many professors, authors, campaigners are material? not many is my guess. They're not emtpy vessels that can be manipulated into materialism.

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NB but the real purpose of this post was to see if someone complies to my perceptions and performs their usual action after I post.  As I've observed this pattern of behavour for sometime I'm just curious to see if they'll comply even when I've pointed out I'm aware of it.

[gone]

Yes I was right on. When you observe a pattern of behavour in a person they become so predictable.
Why would a person ALWAYS post after me? I can only speculate but I guess it's something to do with being in pole position. I'm not competitive. And I don't crave or need or desire attention, quite the opposite.. I'm just here to chat, tell stories, explore & learn!

[hortonpilot]

what you say in your comments of what people say is what i have heard.
earlier on i was very experimental and would test theory on people in social situations .....
The gold diggers pick-up very quickly on certain key phrases.
knowing what these are helps you attract a kind of person. It was not my world but a very interesting door to open because you start to understand a lot about people.
I had a lot of fun but you feel a certain distaste when you see how it all works.
The predatory nature of some people takes my breath away as does the concept of sex in return for "stuff".

Attracting a man/woman is very much a formula for some people, follow the steps.

Many people think these a reasonable currency .

Media /society push men in particular into the hero mould and women are taught to respond
Tragic is the fact that inner happiness and peace are in direct odds with process.

I often wonder what happens when things fail miserably in relationships when people have everything, what words are said , what personal stuff is uttered and the degree of insight?


Its on odd world in many respects , some times door of insight into situations are opened and you see things for what they might be.
My partner always says,
" People devote an enormous effort to accumalating stuff!"

Horton

[grasshopper]

Dang, so much for another of my pet theories.     And there I was all along thinking that the length of my bedroom tackle and its endurance are all DIRECTLY proportional to the length of my car's hood, the cubic-inch displacement of its V8 motor,  and the size of the hood ornament that glides half a block ahead of me.

Oh well, back to the drawing board.

[Zepher08]

Figuring here that both males and females do decorating (flashy) to draw certain kind of attention. Car enlargement is what? The same as breast enlargement?

Below that is ... humans that need more then what they have to get what they seem to think they need/want.  So if an old fat bald guy wants a 20 something sex toy he must produce the objects that reflect the value the other person needs. It is mostly a tit for tat reduction sauce.
The values are corporate. Identities formed through symbols instead of experience which distances one from vulnerabilities.

The above is just a stab in the dark.

[gone]

Horton I totally agree with your last post. And zephers too.
I read an article a few weeks ago on the psycholgy of attraction and something struck me, it said men will take a woman out for a meal (and compared this to animal behavours in mating) and the female would oblige him with sex. I thought surely that can't be true, it's can't be that simple. But I thought about my awful superficial 'friends' and realised the sad fact is, it is that simple (I'd rather eat mud).
They're not happy people, they all have affairs with each other because their lives have no value, and they have no genuine 'friends' either, just social companions.. I've struggled to understand how people can be so awful and I've suspected traits of autism (as I tend to when I can't explain behaviours hehe).. Especially as the most of my superficial 'friends' had an autistic child. So maybe there is a neurological reason they are like that too. But I think it's mostly it's a cultural reason because 'success' is measured in posessions. Success is talked of in terms of status, wealth etc.. People don't realise success is subjective and if I see a person with all those material & designer good I think that person is successful in being stupid.

[voodoo scientist]

"When you observe a pattern of behavour in a person they become so predictable."

It's funny because it is makes itself true!

[hortonpilot]

Zepher08 & Grasshopper,

"and the size of the hood ornament that glides half a block ahead of me."

now i understand.

I imagine when all the tricks don't work it must be over-drive denial?

[HexHammer]

Is the materialism we see a inverse measure of how we perform as people?

I don't see that material fixation and preformance is connected. Some work hard, some work little and still has equal material fixation.

[hortonpilot]

Hex,

 think about it ?

projection.

Horton