My sister can PROGRAM herself and CONTROL her feelings and memories!

[ELADA]

If somebody can completely control their feelings, emotions, preferences, what is that called?
My sister Kate can "program" herself for anything.


For example:

Her emotions. Kate can "switch off" fears, panic, sympathy at will. She has completely suppressed her feelings for a while at a time and even permanently in the case of our mother's death. She can talk about it while not feeling anything even though she was very close to her and has accepted her death.

Her memories: She can alter all her memories from childhood to short term, making her self (and in effect, others) believe anything she wants. Well enough to fool a lie detector!!!

Also personality and preferences: Kate can pick and choose her likes and traits, making herself a different person whenever she wants. This includes (but isnt limited to) music, clothes, video games, food preferences, even people.


Some days i come home to find my sister listening to Obituary and chain-swallowing ticktacks while not listening to a word im saying and playing Bioshock; other days Katie will be in her glasses, buried neck deep into her organizer and computer documents. Even her handwriting and how careful she is about spelling and grammar changes!

She is acting like some kind of mutiple personality disorder person but she can control this completely, making herself perfect for anything or anyone. Some people have trouble recognizing her because of these changes.


Just incase: Kate is 20 years old and she has been like this for as long as i can remember. Can anyone please shed some light on this? I'm desperate!!!

[SWM]

desperate for what?

[ELADA]

Sometimes she acts very self-harming out of being this way, sometimes she brings somebody over to our house who doesn't look right at all and might hurt her later.

And naturally when shes not feeling emotions she doesn't feel that im her sister and a few days ago she even threatened me to a level that i was scared for my life. Next morning she was completely fine and made me waffles and stuff but that was the last thing i could take.

I want to get my own appartment now but im scared for her wellbeing as well as my own. I stayed up all night trying to research on this but i can't find anything. I at least need some information.

PS I cant take her to a shrink in this country because theyre very expensive and they're all complete quacks! Once they accused her of faking in order to get drugs, the other time they actually insisted on giving her drugs, which were sedatives and only made her drowsy and irritable. Oh and each of these cost half my month's salary. No therapy goes on here at all.

So please if anyone can help, all i need is information.

[SWM]

i might be missing something but i don't see what the problem is.

[ELADA]

SWM, The problem is that when Kate puts certain personality elements into herself, her entire self changes.

For example: she wants to be accepted by some family friends so she makes herself a more energetic, happy and kind person. Unintentionally, she also became a common chick like person, liking lady gaga and stuff. Being very shallow and dumb like a goddamn teenage schoolgirl!

I'll give a more recent example, the one that really bothers me: she made herself more outgoing and tough to go out with some guy. The "side effects" were that as well as being outgoing and cool and whatever, she also became slutty, cold and agressive, almost antisocial. She did not recognize me as her sister and openly threatened me. She also nearly got into a car accident that night because she was driving like a maniac.

But naturally shes nothing like that, she is a sweet, responsible, careful girl. I know her as that girl but she sometimes "changes color" so much, she has confessed that sometimes she doesn't know who she really is anymore.

[SWM]

SWM, The problem is that when Kate puts certain personality elements into herself, her entire self changes.

how is this a problem?

For example: she wants to be accepted by some family friends so she makes herself a more energetic, happy and kind person. Unintentionally, she also became a common chick like person, liking lady gaga and stuff. Being very shallow and dumb like a goddamn teenage schoolgirl!

oh dear, thats bad! i understand the problem now, if she starts wearing ridiculously high heels and bright lipstick there might be no hope for her! 

I'll give a more recent example, the one that really bothers me: she made herself more outgoing and tough to go out with some guy. The "side effects" were that as well as being outgoing and cool and whatever, she also became slutty, cold and agressive, almost antisocial. She did not recognize me as her sister and openly threatened me. She also nearly got into a car accident that night because she was driving like a maniac.

But naturally shes nothing like that, she is a sweet, responsible, careful girl. I know her as that girl but she sometimes "changes color" so much, she has confessed that sometimes she doesn't know who she really is anymore.

do you think maybe she wants to fit in and be accepted by people she admires?

[ELADA]

Yeah she does sometimes want to fit in but she completely alters her personality.

It works pretty well in most situations, like for job interviews she can become the perfect employee.

She can focus her mind on certain memories of what she has seen or read and right now shes baking a duck or something, knowing the recipe by heart, even though she was barely paying attention to the cooking channel about a week ago. I can smell it from here, i know it will be delicious. Normally, even the scramble eggs she makes taste like she used something dead as an ingredient!

But when she brings home 2 or 3 guys at the same time or ends up in the police station for god knows what not (i cant be bothered to count the amout of times this has happened), it's not so perfect anymore! She has done some illegal things for fun and has gotten away with most. I just dont want to find out that she has killed someone or something like that!

[SWM]

how does your sisters behaviour effect you?

[ELADA]

Like i said, she brings strangers into our house, has threatened me and i have to get her out of trouble with the police constantly.

But its not important how it affects me. I need to know how is this possible in the first place and what is it called. Or at least a site link that deals with something like this.

I dont even know where to start looking so i turned to this site since lately its my favorite and i have a lot of hope in it.

[NataEames]

That sounds like some sort of Dissociative Identity Disorder. I wouldnt have said that if she could control all of those things but it looks like when she does them, some other things go completely out of control.

[Enigma]

I wouldn't call it Dissociative Identity Disorder.  Switching between multiple personalities in DID is not a conscious choice; it is characterized by an inability to recall personal information.  It sounds like the OP's sister is switching personalities for social gain. 

[SWM]

and i still fail to see how this is a problem apart from a nusiance to some of the people around her.

[ELADA]

But how is it possible in the first place for her to do so? I never understood. She's not acting, she definitely becomes someone else.

[NataEames]

Maybe you should see this from a different light. With a skill like that, she could have so many wanted jobs, from detective to actress.