Author Topic: people who use abusive language in an argument - how do you deal with it?  (Read 1278 times)

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Bansaw

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Its been the case where I have seen someone present a perfectly logical argument and be non-adversarial and have seen the other person respond with something like, "you idiot, thats complete nonsense.  Only an illiterate fool would make such a claim".

I was a bit shocked, but then tried to think of the reason behind the response.

Here's my thoughts:
* the abusive person wanted to end the argument because he felt threatened
* or, his worldview was threatened and wanted to silence the other
* a raw nerve has been touched - something in his past

I am trying to think of:
a) what I would do in that situation to diffuse it?
b) how could you even win an argument like that, since the other person, will just throw abuse rather than come back with a salient argument and his facts?


gone

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You can only really theorise at this persons motivations for saying such a thing in such a way. Which is what you are doing, it's unlikely you'll ever know, unless you get to know the person more, in which case his motivations become more clear.
Apart from what you theorise on, he could also have a superiority complex and really believe the other person a fool/idiot.
He could be a control freak and needs to control the situation, the conversation.
There are many reason a person would do this, ultimately it's ignorance.

If he was being prooved wrong, we as a culture take being prooved wrong as an insult, to which most react abusively, defensively, as we see it as an attack on our personal intellect, yet ironically being proved wrong should be celebrated as it's elevating that person to a new level of understanding.

But unfortunately most people are too ignorant to ever understand that.

SWM

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Quote
I am trying to think of:
a) what I would do in that situation to diffuse it?
b) how could you even win an argument like that, since the other person, will just throw abuse rather than come back with a salient argument and his facts?

attacks against the person are generally emotional or are calculated to provoke emotion and are a distraction away from the argument. avoid emotionally fueled dialogue by bringing the person back to the argument.  if they think you are an idiot or a fool this opinion must be based on something in your argument or how you presented it. ask the individual to demonstrate what they believe are the weaknesses or errors in your argument. you might find the discussion would be helped along by identifying and acknowledging the strong points in the other persons argument while trying to have them acknowledge the weakness in their arguments or the strong points in yours. ask them if they can tell you what are the main points of your argument. in order to do this they will have to cognitively assimilate your argument in order to verbalize it back to you. not only will this ensure that they take on board your arguments but your will be able to observe if they have understood you accurately enough.

you should do the above strategically. keep the person engaged in rational discourse about the content and without emotion and lead them to an accurate understanding of your argument.

The so-called miraculous powers of a great master are a natural accompaniment to his exact understanding of subtle laws that operate in the inner cosmos of consciousness.

voodoo scientist

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Why would you want to convince a person like that? Is that the kind of person you want spreading your ideas?
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hortonpilot

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All too common!

It is interesting this stuff to look at in detail and track the flow of ideas?

Very often people leave the rails but then are unable to see the consequences.
Many life situations require proper and logical progress.

This defensive behavior is annoying when you are trying to get things done .

Enigma

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On one hand, such ad hominem attacks are often a last resort when a defending party has exhausted their intellectual arsenal in the face of a superior force. 

But on the other hand, such abuse can often be used in frustration when the other side of the argument flat out denies/ignores facts, logic, and reason. 
That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.

hortonpilot

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then to move on to positive ground is the ideal solution.

Horton

 

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