Author Topic: recurring dreams about the boy I had crush on long ago  (Read 3252 times)

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chueh

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recurring dreams about the boy I had crush on long ago
« on: April 07, 2009, 01:36:04 AM »
I had a crush on this boy from the same junior high school. I have never seen him again after the junior high. I had two boyfriends before I got married the first time. Then, divorced, I am married the second time. Ever since the day I went to senior high school until now, I have dreamed about him so often. It almost makes me feel guilty about it, because I still had dreams about him when I was and am married.

Past is passed, and it was not like I had a great impact of dating this boy. As a matter of fact, we had never dated or even talked. Why is it coming back to me again and again? What's my subconsciousness trying to tell me?

Thanks

SWM

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Re: recurring dreams about the boy I had crush on long ago
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2009, 04:34:39 PM »
can you give more information about the dream, about the boy or about the crush, and what you think about the dream yourself.
The so-called miraculous powers of a great master are a natural accompaniment to his exact understanding of subtle laws that operate in the inner cosmos of consciousness.

seekinghga

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Re: recurring dreams about the boy I had crush on long ago
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2009, 08:07:41 PM »
This sounds like a case of the "what ifs".  Being in such a prolonged state of uncertainty can have a profound effect on subconscious, as well as conscious, levels.  Even though you have obviously moved on with your life, you still have these feelings.  I would conjecture that this is related to this uncertainty more than the boy; him just acting as the 'embodiment' of the crux of the problem in your mind. 

Perhaps you are not 100% satisfied with your current state of affairs and a small part of you wonders "if I had gotten with that boy, what if...".  Of course, this is just a guess given the current data presented.  As SWM suggests, more information would be very helpful.

chueh

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Re: recurring dreams about the boy I had crush on long ago
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2009, 08:37:29 PM »
Thank you both for your replies.  What you said make sense.  I had never dared to speak with the boy, although all the junior years I had strong crush on him.  He just SEEMED so perfect.  I guess I had more crush on him, because I could never known about his imperfect sides like everyone of us.  I do have to confess that when I was falling in love with a boyfriend, I did not have the recurring dream about the boy.  He only popped up in my dream during the ok or disappointing periods with boyfriends or husbands.  I would keep dream about the boy, I assume, because of my feelings of not being loved enough, feeling a separate entity from my ex or current husbands, and unsatisfactory marriages.  Nevertheless, I don't understand why my subconsciousness is STILL SEEKING a perfect man or having the imprint of this boy as someone I am never to see again.  Even if I see him again, I am not going to do anything about it, because I REALIZED strongly that no man can make me happy (no offense to any male readers, but it's just how I feel).  I am VERY sure that I am done with romantic relationship.  I am not going to change anything for my current marriage now, but just let it be.  That's how strong my belief is now that I am not going into another romantic relationship whatsoever.

That's why I don't understand the contradictory between the reality and my subconsciousness.  I mean: what am I SEEKING?  Have I not had enough?  Why is this boy coming back so often, which surely disturbs my emotions.   

chueh

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Re: recurring dreams about the boy I had crush on long ago
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2009, 08:48:30 PM »
I have to add that I do NOT believe in long-lasting love anymore.  I used to think that my current husband and I were going to be have eternal love for each other, for we had had strong passion and strong emotional bonds to each other.  I believed that our love transcended beyond any phenomenon.  It turned out to be a more disappointment than any relationships I had before.  My heart for romance is dead.  Even if the boy was single, and I divorced my current husband and married this boy, it would just end up another disappointment too.  Thus, I don't look for, or expect any love, because my heart is totally dead.

seekinghga

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Re: recurring dreams about the boy I had crush on long ago
« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2009, 03:30:40 AM »
I have to add that I do NOT believe in long-lasting love anymore.
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My heart for romance is dead.
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I don't look for, or expect any love, because my heart is totally dead.

Now the question is do these realizations bring you solace or are you unsatisfied with them as such?

chueh

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Re: recurring dreams about the boy I had crush on long ago
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2009, 04:38:08 PM »
both, but more unsatisfied with them than solace

seekinghga

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Re: recurring dreams about the boy I had crush on long ago
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2009, 09:22:26 PM »
If these thoughts are not bringing you peace of mind then I think you might be able to answer your earlier questions:

what am I SEEKING?  Have I not had enough?

 

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