Same dream for years

[norma]

I have had the same dream with a few small changes for years starting when I was about 12 or so.

I am all of a sudden I am trying to stave off something, a beast, a robber, a killer, what or whomever, and I am protecting my own!!   When I was younger it was my brothers and sisters, as  years went by it sequed into my husband, then kids and whatever animals we had,  etc etc.  I still have it once in awhile and it involves me saving my husband and dog.   

I figure it has something to do with the fact that I was the oldest and "in charge" all the time,  Mom was very ill managed to have 7 live births out of 11 pregnancies.  My little brother was born when Mom was 42 and I was 18,    I pretty much helped raise all the kids and with Mom's nervous breakdowns totally raised the last two, or at least it seems like it.

I am sure that was part of the reason for the dreams, but wonder why I still occasionally still get the dream?

[Shell]

Wow, would you agree that maybe since you practically grew up with maternal instincts, skills, and experiences (raising your siblings) that you still feel as if you are caretaker in your current household?  Nothing wrong with that of course, but maybe the dreams kick in when your maternal side has to kick it up a notch?

Is there anything going on in the household at the time of the dreams - like maybe your kids are going through a hard time at school, hubby is feeling pressures of work, etc? 

[norma]

You know Cecile,   I think so,  I know it was the last time,  I had just gotten layed off and the nightmare that night was nasty. 
It seems like its either the nightmare or night terrors, and I am pretty sure that it only happens when things are going on with the kids or hubby. 

I also seem to know instinctively when something is wrong with one of my sibs.  All of a sudden they are on my mind constantly and I usually end up calling them, and usually I am right.   

Hmmmmmm    you know you have given credence to something I have thought for a long time.   Thanks!!  Makes me feel a lot better.

[Shell]

Glad you feel better.    *sending hugs your way*

[SWM]

i was struck by your description of your mothers life. it was only a brief description but very powerful.

7 children, 4 pregnancies that where never birthed, breakdowns and illness.

i am curious how this impacted your idea of parenting. i think that what ever fears you have about your children and husband may have been influenced by your experiences with your mother.

[Shell]

That is a great observation Stan!

[teacup]

I agree with Cecile that it might be helpful to be aware of what's going on in your life when these dreams happen. A dream journal can help! Or journaling in general, and journaling your dreams.
If you usually win in these battles then that's definitely a good sign! But the fact that they keep coming up seems to mean that maybe there is something else you need to address. Maybe you feel overwhelmed with this need to protect others. Maybe the world seems too dangerous. I have no idea. But recurrent dreams are there for a reason. Or maybe it's just a warning that something is up! Like you said with your sibs, you have an intuition of when people need you. It definitely seems worthwhile to connect these dreams with your current life.

[alloker]

I have had the same dream with a few small changes for years starting when I was about 12 or so.

I am all of a sudden I am trying to stave off something, a beast, a robber, a killer, what or whomever, and I am protecting my own!!   When I was younger it was my brothers and sisters, as  years went by it sequed into my husband, then kids and whatever animals we had,  etc etc.  I still have it once in awhile and it involves me saving my husband and dog.   

I figure it has something to do with the fact that I was the oldest and "in charge" all the time,  Mom was very ill managed to have 7 live births out of 11 pregnancies.  My little brother was born when Mom was 42 and I was 18,    I pretty much helped raise all the kids and with Mom's nervous breakdowns totally raised the last two, or at least it seems like it.

I am sure that was part of the reason for the dreams, but wonder why I still occasionally still get the dream?

Beginning in your childhood, you had to help the whole family and did that willingly and lovingly. This great responsibility which you embraced at a young age made you worry about whether you were able to help them sufficiently or not and consequently had a traumatic effect on you in the long run. You may also have experienced one or more actually traumatic failures to help some of those you love. Traumatic experiences cause exaggerated expectations of further similar traumatic failures although they may remain repressed. Your recurrent dream is warning you about the repetition of such failures and serves to keep you ready to prevent them, similarly to what happens in snake phobia, for example. This is in fact what you are presently trying to do, that is, preventing further failures to help those you love.

Traumatic experiences can cause automatic defensive responses for a long time, but especially if some contemporary events resemble the old repressed traumatic event or events. Your dreams are related to your contemporary intuitions, or telepathies, of harms suffered by those you love, but there may also be other current events that alert you.

If you wish to discover what happened in your childhood that made you so sensitive to failing to help those you love, you can question yourself as follows in bed before falling asleep: “How I failed to help and protect those I love? What have I done wrong? What mistake have I made?” These questions will be answered in your dreams.

Altan