similar upbringings - different results

[langel]

My wife is incarcerated and recently went in front of the parole board to hear the conditions of her release.  During the hearing they brought up her past history of abuse and acknowledged that while severe, some people have similar if not identical backgrounds and do not commit a crime.  Their question to her was, "Why did you commit your crime while others, with similar backgrounds, do not?"  Her lack of a satisfying answer was taken of proof of her unremorsefulness and, despite her sentence being complete, she was refused release; they will reconsider in two years at which point she will face the same question.

It may be germaine to point out that my wife never brought up her past as defense for her actions though her past came to light in the investigation.

I have two questions.  First:  How on earth do they expect her to answer that question?  I suspect that psychiatrists and philosophers would struggle and come up with wildly different hypothesis's - how could a lay person?  Second: Why, in your opinion, do some people respond differently to similar upbringings?

[SWM]

if she had been able to answer the question she would have done so because she had thought deeply about her behaviour.


the questioner was asking what made you do what you did and how do you feel about it now,  he was doing so in a way which she would have to understand her actions in order to answer and she could have gained that understanding of her actions by reflecting on her behaviour and the circumstances that gave rise to her behaviour.

[langel]

if she had been able to answer the question she would have done so because she had thought deeply about her behaviour.

Fair enough.  However, thinking deeply about the question does not necessarily lead one to a satisfying answer.  Many people, frustrated with the complexity of a difficult question or trying to escape a difficult answer, settle on an answer which allows them a sense of closure though no advances toward a helpful or true answer have been arrived at.  Apollo chasing his sister across the sky satisfied the masses but in actuality, prevented people from coming to a correct understanding of the movement of heavenly bodies.  She can certainly arrive at an answer that would be seem deep enough to satisfy the curiousity of the board but that is not her goal.  On the other hand, honesty does not seem to be working.

I do appreciate your response.

[SWM]

when you say "her lack of a satisfying answer" what do you mean by that, did she have any form of an answer. on what grounds was it unsatisfactory?

[langel]

when you say "her lack of a satisfying answer" what do you mean by that, did she have any form of an answer. on what grounds was it unsatisfactory?

She said that honestly, she didn't know.  That she had arrived at various conclusions but had systematically dismissed each of them throughout the years.  She added that every explanation seemed to serve as an excuse and that she was loathe to provide an excuse for her behavior.

In private, she has posited that she had spent a lifetime being the weakest upon whom everyone could abuse and suddenly, her rage unexpectedly found someone in conflict and in front of her who was smaller and weaker - perhaps for the first time. 

Fow what it's worth, she is trying to grasp the mind of a child - something that, as we age and change, can be difficult.  She was fifteen years old at the time; she is now thirty-seven.  I recently found a letter I wrote twenty years ago and never sent...I've changed so much over the years that I did not recognize the person who had wrote it.  Had it not had my signature on it, I would have denied having written it. 

Thank you for your interest in the post and your willingness to respond.

[Enigma]

She said that honestly, she didn't know.  That she had arrived at various conclusions but had systematically dismissed each of them throughout the years.  She added that every explanation seemed to serve as an excuse and that she was loathe to provide an excuse for her behavior.

In private, she has posited that she had spent a lifetime being the weakest upon whom everyone could abuse and suddenly, her rage unexpectedly found someone in conflict and in front of her who was smaller and weaker - perhaps for the first time. 

Fow what it's worth, she is trying to grasp the mind of a child - something that, as we age and change, can be difficult.  She was fifteen years old at the time; she is now thirty-seven.  I recently found a letter I wrote twenty years ago and never sent...I've changed so much over the years that I did not recognize the person who had wrote it.  Had it not had my signature on it, I would have denied having written it. 

Thank you for your interest in the post and your willingness to respond.

Did she bring up any of these three points you just mentioned or did she just say "i dunno".  All three of those points would seem like a satisfactory answer to me.