the best thing would probably be to try to express honestly and openly your point of view to your partner, without judging them for their role in the matter or things of this nature, just an expression of your feelings.
THANK YOU!
Yes, I have talked with my partner on numerous occasions telling her exactly how I feel. Now, my partner knows that her daughter is a conniving manipulative her-way-or-highway type of person and does her best to try to stop her from doing things.
I'll throw some actually instances of daughters behaviour
1. Daughter has 3 cats. Used to have a bird and then there's my dog that I raised from a puppy (he's now 10). She wanted a dog REALLY bad and begged and pleaded to have one of her own. (she was 17 at the time). I tried so hard to tell my partner exactly how I felt about her getting a dog. That she is too irresponsible and too selfish to take care of a "needy" animals. Cats are independent. Easy for her. But for weeks she insisted. Said she was gonna do it anyway. She told us she was getting a black lab. So, we figure, ok, they're pretty calm dogs, not overly excited or needs a whole heap of exercise.... but I still had my doubts. She came home with a Border Collie pup. 2 days in she started crying saying she can't handle it, she can't take care of it, it's too much... (because it's taking away from her OWN time). After a week she just pretty much ignored the dog and left it outside expecting the rest of the family to pay attention to it and take care of it. It tore up the whole backyard. We all know Border Colllies belong on FARMS, not small little backyard dogs. We had holes everywhere.... we got rid of the dog.
2. She wants a bed - a new bed - and insists and begs and pleads with her mother to take her to get a new bed. the get one, she gets it home and shit you not she turns around and says I don't want it anymore, can we take it back!
3. Now she decides maybe a little dog would be best. (Chihuahua) I nearly flipped!! But she insisted, it'll be easier to take care of. We KNEW that wasn't the issue... small does not mean you can ignore it..... she still got it (now 18 years old). Less than 24 hours and she's bawling her eyes out... I can't do this. I really thought I could, I can't do this please don't tell (me) about it. .............. we now have a 1.5 year old Chihuahua because my partner and I refused to bring it back. She is OUR dog now, not the daughters. We just couldn't do it to another animal.
4. Internet, if anyone else is on it when she's on it playing her games and feels the latency, she flips out and yells at everyone to get off or what's wrong with the internet or who's downloading things! You're slowing ME down, STOP!
5. Contradicts herself. One day says she hates milk, yet we catch her guzzling down a glass then quickly says she was thristy and there was nothing else. Says she hates fizzy drinks, but there's all sorts of carbonated drinks on HER shelf of the fridge (yes she insisted on her own shelf in the fridge).
Most times I sit back and watch her yelling and verbally abusing her family, only to turn the tables and make everyone else the bad guy and her the victim. My partners youngest has gone off to live with her boyfriends family because she can't take her own sister. The middle child (17) is moving out to go live with his father.
I've said my bits to my partner, the daughter will never change... not unless she starts to expeirence more in life than just the 4 corners of her room and the inside walls of the house. Yet, she is totally different when out shopping.. she's like a little 4 year old girl hiding behind her mother's legs.
I told my partner before I moved in with them that I wouldn't take that type of abuse (because I've heard it before hand) and that if she lashes out at me, I'll give it right back. I was given the ok to do this 5 years ago. But, because she is "clever".... she has a way of putting my partner inbetween us and makes me out to be the bad guy.
Just the other day my partner got called into work but had initially had plans to go shoppign with her daughter (she won't go alone or just hates going alone, dunno) but she flipped out and started crying and carrying on, you always do this to me! etc etc... it was a one off thing! We told her to take the car and go... I was home that day sick... but she refused.
She has a tendency to argue with everything. Just for the sake of argument. We thought she would make a good politician. Lies and talks crap, false beliefs. She also has to be the one to like something first. We'll like a song, she'll instantly say she can't stand it and cut it down and cringe and carry on about the song telling us to change the station or switch the song. A few weeks later she'll be playing it non stop in her room and then will come out and say "listen to this great song I heard" when it was US that introduced her to it in the first place.
This are just a few little things but add these up maybe 5 or 10 per day, everyday for 5 years....
I hope what I've written will give you SOME insight to her behaviour. But she IS a chronic complainer, chronic whinger, HAS to find something to complain about. On a good day she acts like a 5 year old, SQEEEing when her favourite tv show is about to come on. LITERALLY jumps up and down and LITERALLY flaps her hands around and claps. Sometimes I wish I was secretly recording her so I could show her just how ridiculous she looks at 19.
Dr. Jeckly and Miss. Hyde!
Sorry so long and winded.... but in essence, Yes, I have spoken and talked to my partner. I dont' HATE her daughter, I'm just really getting annoyed at her antics and I'm sick to death of hearing her shouting and name calling and demands. When she comes to the door and pounds on it - YEAH I cringe... because.... HERE IT COMES! And 90% of the time, I'm right.
She doesn't work, lives off gov. money and just yesterday got a call for an interview here where I work part-time. My doing.... I think she needs to get off her lazy ass and experience life. Anyway... she seems excited about it and then said she was gonna milk the gov. money as long as she can. We tried to tell her thats not how it works but heaven forbid we try to tell HER anything about life. She knows it all!
