what would u do? im thinking of dropping out of college?

[warmblanket]

not sure what to do

[SWM]

whats the problem?

[warmblanket]

i dont have any faith in it anymore

[SWM]

you dont have any faith in your college?

[warmblanket]

no...

[SWM]

i am not sure what you mean by not having faith in your college. is it something about not meeting your expectations?

[warmblanket]

not sure its jst alot has happened, my mom told me to drop out tonight, belittling my efforts, and bullying in college

[warmblanket]

every part of me has given up, apart from being registered

ive lost faith in alot of things, what would u do?

[SWM]

mums have a way of discouraging us from doing things that cause us distress but sometimes we need to work through distress in order to learn about ourselves and to grow.

will college help you to achieve your goals in life?

[warmblanket]

not sure anymore if it will help me achieve my goals

[SWM]

what are your goals? what do you want to do with your life?

[warmblanket]

i know if i do. this time itll probably be for good, so its something im thinking seriously about

im not sure of goals cos things have changed

[SWM]

what would you like to do with your life? what do you enjoy? what makes you happy?

if you can figure out these things about yourself you can measure any desicion you make against these values to assess if your choices will bring you closer to the things that make you happy. does that make sense?

[warmblanket]

yea, i know that stuff but ive been taught my goals are not relevant

[precious_fate]

I'm in the same position as you many times. I always thought about dropping out of college, since I don't have faith in it either. Classes are so hard, I feel as if I'm getting stupider when I reached college since my GPA is so bad, comparing to my high school GPA.
However, i change my major and when I get classes that relates to art/humanities, my thinking of college kinda changed. I think it's cuz due to lack of anxiety that it causes distress in us and wanting us to drop out of college. Or sometimes it's because we're lost in our decision making that we failed to comprehend the necessities and to appreciate how far we've gone in school (20+ years in school) don't let it go to waste.

At times I feel this way still, in wanting to drop out of college. But just keep looking on the bright side and try to browse or look at all the classes that they have in your college to see what classes interests you and just list them down, until you minimized your list by crossing some out until you find what you like, then just go for those (make those your major). Cuz that's what I did and it kinda helped me get through college.

Last but not least, I decided to major in psychology now, since for me it is interesting to understand people's feelings including my own and to understand the nature of life and also knowing how people suffers or go through everyday with their life and try to resolve the problems.

[precious_fate]

Also, once you drop out of college. You'll be a nobody. Since you don't have enough money to help your parent, family, or yourself out. So, think before you make a move. Since once you drop out of college, it will be a complete regret that you will make.

It's because I've thought about it many times already, and I don't wanna make that mistake.

It's better to just stick with it until you finish your major. Since 10 years or even 15 years from now, you'll be working with lots of money (better than a person with no degree).

[SWM]

yea, i know that stuff but ive been taught my goals are not relevant

if you have negative and critical people around you they will have an impact on your view of yourself and the world. if you have no goals and dreams of your own your life has no meaning to you. you are living your life for someone elses dreams and goals. if you choose to make yourself some goals that fit with your values your life will have purpose.


think about this question for a while, maybe write some stuff down.

if your life was perfect, what would it be like, what would you be doing? how would you feel, think and behave, what would you need to be this way.

when you have answered this question you will easy recognise what your goals are and you can find a purpose and meaning for your life.

[NataEames]

Your goals are always relevant. Without goals you're just a lost wondering child. You need to stop feeling discouraged by people. My mother discouraged me for years about this and that. It's your life, you need to decide what you want.

What do you enjoy doing?

[sure]

i tried to tell the teacher that i don't fit in his college, but he didn't understand

[NataEames]

he didnt understand? I dont understand. Did you feel you dont belong in that college or in college in general?

[heather64]

Hi warmblanket. I'm not sure if you've made your decision yet, but if I were you, I would stick it out. I'm in a position where I have to decide if I should go back to college (for a BA) or do a trade because fast food jobs/serving jobs just aren't cutting it. I wish I had done this earlier, finished my education so I had more career opportunities. I think you'll be glad you stayed in If you don't like what you're studying, switch your major.

[spacemonkey]

not sure what to do

It really depends on what you want from your life. I've done things in the past that my parents really didnt approve of, like quitting jobs that made me miserable, but I knew in myself that it wasn't right. I respect my parents and other peoples opinions, but in the end they are not the ones who have to go through with it. I think in the end the final deciding factor on what should be done should be down to you as an individual. I quit my job because I was dredding it every day I woke up and I knew that to continue would probably have an impact of my health. When I explained it to my parents they understood and said that even though they don't approve, in the end it's my decision and I have to live with the consequences of it. When you make a decision like that you will always regret it, and question 'what if?' What if I'd stuck out that job, would I have settled down? I would most certainly be better off in terms of experience when finding future career oppertunities, but I might have also plunged into depression trying to go through with it. I guess I'll never know. Goals are always very important in life. I don't understand people who don't have some sort of ambition to work towards, it gives you something to care about and dedicate yourself to. I know that my goals are slightly career/education driven, in that my dream is to become a games programmer. Often in the persuit of this I have clashed with other people that are more driven in goals relating to pleasure, friends, or family, but if I let other people stop me from doing what's important to me I will live to regret it.
In answer to your question, it is important to consider your own goals in life, and whether or not quitting will make it harder for you to achieve those goals. There is always a way around things and to get back on track. it is normal to face challenges in life, some of which you won't always win. However I find it is oftent he case  when making decisions like this you will generally tend to think back to yourself a lot, 'What if?' in the case that you do quit.

[DamnedShadow88]

Also, once you drop out of college. You'll be a nobody. Since you don't have enough money to help your parent, family, or yourself out. So, think before you make a move. Since once you drop out of college, it will be a complete regret that you will make.

It's because I've thought about it many times already, and I don't wanna make that mistake.

It's better to just stick with it until you finish your major. Since 10 years or even 15 years from now, you'll be working with lots of money (better than a person with no degree).

Ok, that is not true.  If someone drops out of college that doesn't make them a nobody.  Anybody can rise to the top of what they like to do.  It is a matter of faith within that person.  A question of "can I do this?" with "yes" being the answer.  Motivation and devotion are the keys to success.  It is a misconception that one has to finish college to be successful in life.  It's all about a positive attitude and not even allowing yourself to doubt yourself and your abilities.  Trust me, if you condition yourself to replace immediately negative thoughts with positive thoughts, you will notice a brighter tomorrow.

I can't stand it when people offer advice with a negative and forceful tone.

"Since once you drop out of college, it will be a complete regret that you will make. "  Did you drop out of college?  Did you have this experience of dropping out and becoming a nobody?  You are forcefully telling this person to regret or that they will regret if they make a decision.  That is terrible!  It's one thing for someone to develop regret on their own because of experience, but it's another thing if they are told they will regret it if they choose to do it.  You're just closing doors for this person! 

[warmblanket]

Thanks DamnedShadow88

Feeling really hopeless...n discouraged i guess...my confidence is low...not sure i can quite bring my head together to complete this material...been so long now

I dont feel like anything is going to turn around right now...

[warmblanket]

....think ill hit the road in this career once finished, no one i can call a real friend in the field, the ppl dont seem very nice in the area....

[iig0tem]

Seems like you're having identity confusion problems... Try to strive. You keep telling yourself that you are "hopeless, discouraged, low confidence, etc..."... your conscience is filled with negative aspects of yourself and you should try to change that... You are living out a self fulfilling prophecy...

Just know that you will most likely regret dropping out in the future.. Muster up some strength... Dropping out ISN'T going to make you happier or a more functional individual... this problem you are having might not even be college itself... find your inner balance and focus. and condone it. don't fall into a moratorium.

[warmblanket]

Trying to do things - just feel like crying - working on my most difficult paper....stuck on one long article, coming to a standstill on two sections of it, cos its soooo long  

Things are getting better since; college been very accomodating, kind and helpful, just hopefully things keep moving forward and not backwards