Why do black women hate me

[monster]

I call myself Monster because when I was growing up that was the way I felt as a teenager. Let me tell my story, I recall when I was growing up people use to talk to me and be friend me as a child, but when we start to enter High school things changed.   I hated riding the bus to school because no one would let me have a seat although I would ask in a nice manner, may I please have a seat. It seems as the women hated me and in fact, the bus driver just to say, you guys let that boy have a seat. One girl replied, we do not have to seat with him if we don’t want too. I will never forget the day, a girl was sitting by herself and I asked in a nice way for a seat, and she let me had a seat. It seems like a look of fear came over her face as I sit down and she moved to another seat. From that forward, I had envision myself as a monster so ugly that people would rather sit three to a seat that sit by me. This affected me so much that I just to cry myself to sleep every night as well as avoid mirrors because when I saw myself, I would cry. I tried to destroy every picture of myself that I could find because I thought I was the ugliest person in the world.

Let us fast forward to the day where I am an unmarried successful black male who continue to have issue with people.  It seems that everyone believes that I want them. If I say hi, to a woman she acts as if I committed a crime and tells me she has a boyfriend. In fact, when I take public transportation, people act as if they fear me. For example, the bus was crowed and this lady wanted to sit down. I was not going to invite her to sit next to me, but felt if she wanted a seat she had every right to sit down. She came to have a sit but brought a male friend to watch me when she had a seat. In fact, I have been told by some women not to say a word to them, or they tell others, I do not want him to say anything to me.  In fact, I could be with a group of people and everyone can say hi to a woman, but me. 

The treatment that I have received over the years have gotten to the point where I just refuse to say anything to a women, and some guys have questioned my manhood because they never see my talking to a woman or approach a woman. One guy tried to encourage me by showing me how to talking to women and stated the worst thing that can happened is she say No! However, that has never been the case with me, where I was once treated to have the police called on me because I dared to say Hi. Most people believe that women would not behave in such a manner. But I was in a crowed café and once asked a woman very nicely, may I please have a sit, and she say she did not mind. The minute I tried to sit down, she went off on me. I knew she heard me, because she said I know I told you I did not mind, but I do.

I hate to make it a racial thing, but it seems that I have issues with more black women than women of other races.  Why do I have so many issues with women although I am polite? Why do some many assume that I want them when I say Hi?

[SWM]

do you think that you look, act or talk in an unusual way?

[S. Earl Martin]

Unfortunatly the media sterotypes certain groups and people believe the sterotypes. A neighbor of mine used to be in a gang. He has tats on his arms and his face. He is trying to make it straight, but no one will hire him because of what he looks like. He got a job in a warehouse and worked there for about a year. When somethings turned up missing the manager assumed he took them and fired him.

All my life I have tried to treat people as people. Most of my friends were nonwhite. I am white and my wife was hispanic. The way we were treated by both whites and hispanics made it clear that prejudice is alive and well. Her grandmother was black. She was hispanic, but had dark skin. Some people would mistake my wife for being black. Just light skinned. We really got looked down on by a lot of people then.

Now as to a possible solution? Think about how you dress? The way people react to other people is gauged by what they expect. If you are dressed in nice cloths they react one way. If you are dressed as a hood they react another. Is your personal hygene okay? I knew a guy in school who thought no one liked him and no one wanted to sit near him. It was because he needed to take a bath and use deoderant. I told him this and he took the advice. People stopped avoiding him. He even got a girlfriend.
You can only change things so much. We are who we are. The way my wife and I reacted when people treated us badly was to bad for them. We knew we couldn't really change the way they were so we just tried to treat other people as best we could and not let their ignorance effect us in a negative way. Good luck and try and stay possitive Earl