In your first post it looked as though you were just exploring and trying to understand yourself. Speaking under your breath/repeating last sentences I've observed in people when I was a child in class. I would have put this down to a habbit, a tick that's hard to break, just like someone may stratch their head, or bite their lip, or say words between words like "Yeah right, I went to the shop right, then I bought a drink right and" so I would have thought your concern of your behaviour was just a matter of breaking the habbit. As you went on to describe yourself further it seemed obvious you are trying to understand yourself and seeking answers on a broader spectrum of just the repeating sentences.
This whole thing stemmed from a documentary I saw a couple of days ago about an autistic savant named Derek Paravicini. The documentarian noted his echolalia (repeating what others say involuntarily). I decided to see if there is a term for repeating oneself
as opposed to others.
I know I've always done the things I do, but I never figured they were in any way connected. I give myself reasons for why I do things the way I do them. Maybe they're just "excuses" for what is really going on, but they make sense to me. The biggest one is that I'm completely normal and that everyone else is strange. "I'm
not the weird one who should be concerned. They're
the ones lacking in the logical department. Everything I
do makes absolute sense." lol
I'm always questioning why
people do certain things, or why they do them in a certain manner. The simplest things, I have to make overly complicated. For example, I memorize phone numbers as mathematical equations.
Take, for instance, an old number I used to have: 409-8083. I'm going to attempt
to explain this (I suck at explaining things. lol)
The first number in the exchange is 40. Twice 40 is 80, creating the latter sequence, as it is repeated twice (8080[+3]). The third
number in the exchange is 9, which is 3 squared
. Now, I can see that the number follows a pattern: 4, 0, 3 - meaning there is a factor of four followed by a zero followed by a factor of three. 4, 0, 9, 8, 0. I remember the last two digits (83) don't follow this exact pattern, however the pattern helps in remembering the last number is three itself since the pattern ends
with a three and there are three numbers to the pattern. Other methods of checking accuracy are that I use is the fact that the last digit, 3, is preceded by three
digits; and that the sum of the first and last digits (4+3) equals seven, which are the total number of digits in a standard phone number.
So, to me, there are only three digits in the phone number: 4, 0, and 3.
I have no idea if that made sense to anyone, but this is how I live my life. This is the way I categorize things. If I have Asperger's, then it would make sense why I do this. If I don't, then I'm back to being confused as to why I do things. =\
I totally agree with putting labels on things, it helps people to understand. I wouldn't have thought from your initial post about Aspergers as you said you had no trouble socialising. People with aspergers do have social problem.
I find I mostly obtain friends because I'm kind and a good listener. I never actively seek out new friends. They just seem to materialize. I don't ever say much unless asked. I used to offer my two cents, but I talk too much and never seem to make sense. So, I've learned to stifle myself over time. I mostly just people watch. I like to study people's social behaviors; mainly because they are so foreign to me (and oftentimes humorous). I still always have
speak up to correct someone. I don't mean to be rude, I just feel that people should know fact from fiction.
I am a complete grammar Nazi. I found out recently that I'm also a math Nazi. LoL
But they are usually very clever and can learn the skills required to socialise from a from a book say as opposed to experience as they can't read facial expressions or body language or non verbal clues so this puts them at a disadvantage socially. People with Aspergers don't usually have any natural facial expression either, again these can be learned and performed on demand but can appear unnatural (don't know what country you're in but I'm sure Gordon Brown ex UK Prime Minister has Aspergers and there is a lot of publicity around a 'fake' smile).
My face is always blank. People (even family members) always ask me what's wrong - even if I'm having a really good day. I find it hard to hold a smile for very long. My lip starts to quiver from the strain. LoL
They usually have a thing about clothes, fabric has to feel just right ext. And as you rightly say acute attention is focused onto a single subject, usually makeing them an authority in their chosen feild. Patric Moore - Sky at Night believes he has Aspergers. These are people work checking out if you want to identify some more. I knew someone with Aspergers once who's entire wardrobe of clothes was from a book, he's learned what to wear from reading a book.
I feel out of place if I have to wear anything that isn't t-shirt and jeans. LoL
Other things I would add are they are usually pedantic with language, speaking properly without accent and write without mistakes.
I will throw away a letter if I make an error in penmanship or spelling and start back from the beginning. I preview everything electronic for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and flow. I'll re-read it in its entirety and, if there is something that needs to be changed, re-read it again until it's perfect. No word can be repeated - I need
thesauruses when writing something lengthy. I've always wondered why it had
to be perfect. It's just an impulse. Asperger's could explain that.
I used to be as obsessive with language, but then a good friend said I'm very prim. I was young and thought it was an insult so I've grown more lax in my vernacular. I'll still kill myself before I say "ain't" or "y'all," though. That's something I can't get around... They just aren't correct. Likewise, I insist on following perfect grammar, even if I don't do it in as posh a fashion as I used to. "Whom" is used when speaking of the recipient, etc.
I guess when I say I became more "lax," I mean that I throw in some "dude" and expletives now... lol
Also as you picked up on are emotions, although of course they have emotions, they do lack emotional intelligence and intimacy.
I often wonder why people get so emotional about certain things. I find it illogical.
The most recent girlfriend before last was eight years ago. Any time a woman makes sexual advances, I find it to be extremely awkward. Even with girlfriends who I've fallen completely in love with. I've never made an excuse for this, because I've never understood it. I'm not abstinent, celibate, or "waiting." I actually feel it might be a great
stress reliever. But, it's just so... awkward. =\
I'm glad you seem to have found some answers and I understand your relief if this is what it is, it will also be a relief to anyone who's tried to understand you, but can't, you shouldn't keep this from people (especially a partner), there are varying degrees and it is hereditary. If this is what you are diagnosed with. I would make an appointment with a Dr and tell him you suspect you have Aspergers and would like conformation either way.
So there you go, I do try to spread awarness of Aspergers because without it people get labeled excentric or strange. I almost forgot irnoy, they don't tend to undertand irony very well and take things quite literal. For example: The phone rings and I say "Would you just pick the phone up please" and an Aspergers person is likely to pick the who phone up, rather than answer it.
I find irony and sarcasm to be great
forms of comedy. I am the most sarcastic person anyone will ever meet and I love
pointing out the irony in things. LoL
As a kid, though, I had a horrible time with adages. My dad would use them all the time. I hated it when he said something like "I'll give you something to cry about." I always thought, "what can he give me that'll make me cry? A dead penguin?" I didn't understand he was telling me to stop crying or he'll punish me for crying. o.0
I still do misinterpret sayings, but I understand the concept more now. As a child, I thought "Off Limits" was German for something (I spelled it "Awflimmez" in my head) until I saw it on a sign. Once I saw "Off limits," though, it made sense. We have limits, this is off of them.
Yes, I was ignored a lot as a child. My siblings and I always had to say "Daddy" at least ten times in order to get his attention off of the TV.
I'll be talking and the person I'm talking to will just walk away like I don't exist; and I'm always
being interrupted. This happens a lot; even from people who aren't prone to interrupting. I'll be saying something and, right in the middle of my sentence, someone else jumps in. AND NO ONE SEEMS TO NOTICE THAT I WAS INTERRUPTED. omg, it pisses me off. It happens all
the time. I can never get a word in. >_>
And, it's not like I'm always
talking. With the infrequency at which I open my mouth you'd think my thoughts would be cherished simply for the rarity of their public appearances. But, nope. Everyone's gotta be Kanye. =/
btw - what are you guys' thoughts on Kanye West having Asperger's? Now I that I know some stuff about it, it really suits him. He's super-intelligent, focuses insanely on his music, and takes ten years to describe something that only makes sense to him (including his explanation). He also expresses himself only to find out later that it was very offensive (I remember offering to help clean someone's house once not realizing that was rude... lol). I used to be on the "Kanye's a Jerk" bandwagon until I started thinking about this. Is Kanye West an egotistical asshat or could he possibly have a mental disorder?
OH! One thing I know I definitely
do that is a symptom of Asperger's, is that I can go on forever. Thanks for reading this and for your support, you guys!