Why do I repeat myself involuntarily? Asperger Syndrome?

[kwingf]

I've found that since I was a child I will often repeat the last sentence I've spoken under my breath.  I was made fun of a couple of times, so I made attempts to correct it with marginal success.  I can't say for certain if I do it as much as when I was a child, but I do still do it.

I know people with autism will repeat what others say at times, but I am not autistic.  At least I don't think so.  I do, at times, repeat what others say to me under my breath; but I think this is a recent development.  I used to ask for them to repeat themselves (i.e.- what? huh? I'm sorry?) only to find that I have processed what they said before and while they are repeating it.  Now, to avoid this embarrassment, I repeat it to myself first.  Then again, I may have always done this.  I just don't know.

Everything I do I feel is completely normal until I realize that others don't do it.  I went for years without glasses because I thought things just got blurrier as they got further away.  Then I went to an optometrist because I found myself with vision insurance.  Apparently, I was wrong.  lol



I'm 26 now and have never had any disabilities as far as social interaction goes.  However, all of my friends have been of the opposite sex (I don't seem to get along with most other males - I find them too far out of touch with emotional intellect).  I scored in the top 1% of my class in school, so I don't feel I have any learning disabilities; although I've never taken notes a day in my life and I hate showing my work in math (I did it in my head, why am I wrong for not doing it the teacher's way?).

I remember being tested for special education (the "good" kind, not the "bad" kind) when I was between the ages of five and seven, but failing because I didn't see why a man in a baseball cap appears any less employed than a man in a cowboy hat.  I didn't finish the test because of that one answer.  (It asked which of the four line-drawn men was least likely to be employed.  Presented were busts of a firefighter, a policeman, a man in a cowboy hat, and a man in a baseball cap.  I guess being a rodeo cowboy is an occupation, but how do I know the other person wasn't either a baseball player or just a bum?)  The question haunts me to this day.


Anybody have any insight on this?  Is it normal?  Should I be worried?  Am I just off the block a bit, perhaps?  lol


[EDIT]


I've actually been looking into why I repeat myself, and it's called palilalia. It's a symptom of Asperger and Tourette syndromes when done involuntarily.

I know I don't have Tourette's, but the only time I've ever heard of Asberger's was when my mom said she had been diagnosed with it a few months before she died from a incorrectly prescribed dosage of blood thinner medication.

My mom was diagnosed with a million things that I never thought to research, so I didn't know what it was. She just said that it meant she was slightly autistic and that it's genetic, so I should have myself checked out. When I think autistic I think complete social paralysis, so I didn't think I had it.

When I saw the term "Asperger" potentially pertain to me for the second time, I decided to research it; and it describes me to a T. I'm not at all a hypochondriac, though. So, I'm not going to say I have Asperger's until I am diagnosed as such (or not as such) by a qualified professional.

For the time being, however, having Asperger's would answer so many questions I've been asking my entire life. Mainly why I can't be "normal" even if I try; why I'm in the "gifted genius" category while it seems everyone around me is a complete idiot even though they are obviously of the "average" intelligence quotient; why, almost every day, I lose six hours researching something I find fascinating that others think is trivial; why I say things that are - according to others - insanely rude, but - to me - are simply a statement of fact; why I didn't feel anything at either of my parents' funerals; why I completely estrange friends without wanting to.

All of these things are, apparently, classic Asperger syndrome. Super genius at the price of social normalcy.

I'd take the trade any day, though. I'd rather delight in the mundane than the fashionable. lol

I'm wondering what anyone with insight into the condition thinks about this.  What direction should I face from here?  Do I contact a psychologist for proper diagnosis or another professional?

I'd appreciate some advice on this.  It's relieving to believe I might have Asperger's since it makes sense why I am the way I am, but it's also relieving to believe prayer will solve all of my problems - if you understand the analogy.  I'd rather have concrete proof until I settle into the consolation and accept it as a truth.

[gone]

In your first post it looked as though you were just exploring and trying to understand yourself. Speaking under your breath/repeating last sentences I've observed in people when I was a child in class. I would have put this down to a habbit, a tick that's hard to break, just like someone may stratch their head, or bite their lip, or say words between words like "Yeah right, I went to the shop right, then I bought a drink right and" so I would have thought your concern of your behaviour was just a matter of breaking the habbit. As you went on to describe yourself further it seemed obvious you are trying to understand yourself and seeking answers on a broader spectrum of just the repeating sentences.

I totally agree with putting labels on things, it helps people to understand. I wouldn't have thought from your initial post about Aspergers as you said you had no trouble socialising. People with aspergers do have social problem. But they are usually very clever and can learn the skills required to socialise from a from a book say as opposed to experience as they can't read facial expressions or body language or non verbal clues so this puts them at a disadvantage socially. People with Aspergers don't usually have any natural facial expression either, again these can be learned and performed on demand but can appear unnatural (don't know what country you're in but I'm sure Gordon Brown ex UK Prime Minister has Aspergers and there is a lot of publicity around a 'fake' smile). They usually have a thing about clothes, fabric has to feel just right ext. And as you rightly say acute attention is focused onto a single subject, usually makeing them an authority in their chosen feild. Patric Moore - Sky at Night believes he has Aspergers. These are people work checking out if you want to identify some more. I knew someone with Aspergers once who's entire wardrobe of clothes was from a book, he's learned what to wear from reading a book. Other things I would add are they are usually pedantic with language, speaking properly without accent and write without mistakes. Also as you picked up on are emotions, although of course they have emotions, they do lack emotional intelligence and intimacy. I'm glad you seem to have found some answers and I understand your relief if this is what it is, it will also be a relief to anyone who's tried to understand you, but can't, you shouldn't keep this from people (especially a partner), there are varying degrees and it is hereditary. If this is what you are diagnosed with. I would make an appointment with a Dr and tell him you suspect you have Aspergers and would like conformation either way.

So there you go, I do try to spread awarness of Aspergers because without it people get labeled excentric or strange. I almost forgot irnoy, they don't tend to undertand irony very well and take things quite literal. For example: The phone rings and I say "Would you just pick the phone up please" and an Aspergers person is likely to pick the who phone up, rather than answer it.

I will mention SHELDON the character in the BIG BANG THEORY.. because he's typical (although exaggerated) of an Aspergers person. I'm sure there are videos on youtube..

Anyway good luck.
I

[acousticeagle]

I knew a man once who always repeated the last thing he said, even when the last thing he said had been acknowledged by another person. To me, his behaviour was rather extreme! I'm thinking that in his situation he had OCD, some magical thinking there that demanded that he speak the same thing over.

I don't think you have anything like that, but I'm mentioning it as a recollection of someone who had to - or needed to - repeat. You say you do it involuntarily, just to differentiate.

Interesting that you talk about your mother and Aspergers. I was reading P-mother's comment and it's good that Pm's helped in the understanding of symptoms of Aspergers. At least for you it's something that can be investigated; you can explore this and piece things together while finding out who you are as a personality.

I'm just wondering about your upbringing. Were you ignored as a child, like by parents/siblings? Did you at all feel like you were not acknowledged to your satisfaction when you were speaking? Just querying about that.

There are people out there that don't operate as they see others doing normally in terms of emotions. I can actually identify about the "hats" test. I remember as a child being tested about a photograph of a young boy wearing a safari hat, standing with another boy who wasn't wearing one. They were pictured in a city street. The photo was heading a story called "Jungle in the City". Everyone in class said that the title of the story did not go with the actual story - the safari hat was like a misleading image. I was the only one in class that said that the title of the story was fine. That's because my imagination had already taken flight (I've ended up a fiction writer in middle age!).

So you see, people's brains can work differently, and the ones that realise that something is different about them might just, like you, set out on the path of self-discovery. Good for you! You'll realise your own uniqueness in God's great garden and find how you will use your talents with success.

In some people, in the place of emotions they will use more cerebral power - ' thinking' in other words. You sound like one of those. While others are expressing themselves on an emotional level very naturally, these other ones are far more impassive, and much more in their own - and using their own - heads.

I think it's great that you're finding out. That means you'll be able to relax about yourself more and, I think, it could be possible, as Pm suggests, that your repeating yourself could be a mere nervous habit.

Btw, I agree with you about the baseball hat thing 

[sure]

I don't know how it is with you, but the city government uses my shadow from six years ago on to following. A. Pährisch hunts me/it till I'm off, - that's why I'm here. She's a damn drinker, and thinks she's me. She tries to integrate herself in Bookwood, LS, and stop the Berlin stuff.

[kwingf]

In your first post it looked as though you were just exploring and trying to understand yourself. Speaking under your breath/repeating last sentences I've observed in people when I was a child in class. I would have put this down to a habbit, a tick that's hard to break, just like someone may stratch their head, or bite their lip, or say words between words like "Yeah right, I went to the shop right, then I bought a drink right and" so I would have thought your concern of your behaviour was just a matter of breaking the habbit. As you went on to describe yourself further it seemed obvious you are trying to understand yourself and seeking answers on a broader spectrum of just the repeating sentences.

This whole thing stemmed from a documentary I saw a couple of days ago about an autistic savant named Derek Paravicini.  The documentarian noted his echolalia (repeating what others say involuntarily).  I decided to see if there is a term for repeating oneself as opposed to others.

I know I've always done the things I do, but I never figured they were in any way connected.  I give myself reasons for why I do things the way I do them.  Maybe they're just "excuses" for what is really going on, but they make sense to me.  The biggest one is that I'm completely normal and that everyone else is strange.  "I'm not the weird one who should be concerned.  They're the ones lacking in the logical department.  Everything I do makes absolute sense."  lol
I'm always questioning why people do certain things, or why they do them in a certain manner.  The simplest things, I have to make overly complicated.  For example, I memorize phone numbers as mathematical equations.

Take, for instance, an old number I used to have: 409-8083.  I'm going to attempt to explain this (I suck at explaining things. lol)

The first number in the exchange is 40.  Twice 40 is 80, creating the latter sequence, as it is repeated twice (8080[+3]).  The third number in the exchange is 9, which is 3 squared.  Now, I can see that the number follows a pattern: 4, 0, 3 - meaning there is a factor of four followed by a zero followed by a factor of three.  4, 0, 9, 8, 0.  I remember the last two digits (83) don't follow this exact pattern, however the pattern helps in remembering the last number is three itself since the pattern ends with a three and there are three numbers to the pattern.  Other methods of checking accuracy are that I use is the fact that the last digit, 3, is preceded by three digits; and that the sum of the first and last digits (4+3) equals seven, which are the total number of digits in a standard phone number.

So, to me, there are only three digits in the phone number: 4, 0, and 3.

I have no idea if that made sense to anyone, but this is how I live my life.  This is the way I categorize things.  If I have Asperger's, then it would make sense why I do this.  If I don't, then I'm back to being confused as to why I do things.  =\

I totally agree with putting labels on things, it helps people to understand. I wouldn't have thought from your initial post about Aspergers as you said you had no trouble socialising. People with aspergers do have social problem.

I find I mostly obtain friends because I'm kind and a good listener.  I never actively seek out new friends.  They just seem to materialize.  I don't ever say much unless asked.  I used to offer my two cents, but I talk too much and never seem to make sense.  So, I've learned to stifle myself over time.  I mostly just people watch.  I like to study people's social behaviors; mainly because they are so foreign to me (and oftentimes humorous).  I still always have speak up to correct someone.  I don't mean to be rude, I just feel that people should know fact from fiction.
I am a complete grammar Nazi.  I found out recently that I'm also a math Nazi.  LoL

But they are usually very clever and can learn the skills required to socialise from a from a book say as opposed to experience as they can't read facial expressions or body language or non verbal clues so this puts them at a disadvantage socially. People with Aspergers don't usually have any natural facial expression either, again these can be learned and performed on demand but can appear unnatural (don't know what country you're in but I'm sure Gordon Brown ex UK Prime Minister has Aspergers and there is a lot of publicity around a 'fake' smile).

My face is always blank.  People (even family members) always ask me what's wrong - even if I'm having a really good day.  I find it hard to hold a smile for very long.  My lip starts to quiver from the strain.  LoL

They usually have a thing about clothes, fabric has to feel just right ext. And as you rightly say acute attention is focused onto a single subject, usually makeing them an authority in their chosen feild. Patric Moore - Sky at Night believes he has Aspergers. These are people work checking out if you want to identify some more. I knew someone with Aspergers once who's entire wardrobe of clothes was from a book, he's learned what to wear from reading a book.

I feel out of place if I have to wear anything that isn't t-shirt and jeans.  LoL

Other things I would add are they are usually pedantic with language, speaking properly without accent and write without mistakes.

I will throw away a letter if I make an error in penmanship or spelling and start back from the beginning.  I preview everything electronic for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and flow.  I'll re-read it in its entirety and, if there is something that needs to be changed, re-read it again until it's perfect.  No word can be repeated - I need thesauruses when writing something lengthy.  I've always wondered why it had to be perfect.  It's just an impulse.  Asperger's could explain that.

I used to be as obsessive with language, but then a good friend said I'm very prim.  I was young and thought it was an insult so I've grown more lax in my vernacular.  I'll still kill myself before I say "ain't" or "y'all," though.  That's something I can't get around... They just aren't correct.  Likewise, I insist on following perfect grammar, even if I don't do it in as posh a fashion as I used to.  "Whom" is used when speaking of the recipient, etc.

I guess when I say I became more "lax," I mean that I throw in some "dude" and expletives now... lol

Also as you picked up on are emotions, although of course they have emotions, they do lack emotional intelligence and intimacy.

I often wonder why people get so emotional about certain things.  I find it illogical.
The most recent girlfriend before last was eight years ago.  Any time a woman makes sexual advances, I find it to be extremely awkward.  Even with girlfriends who I've fallen completely in love with.  I've never made an excuse for this, because I've never understood it.  I'm not abstinent, celibate, or "waiting."  I actually feel it might be a great stress reliever.  But, it's just so... awkward.  =\

I'm glad you seem to have found some answers and I understand your relief if this is what it is, it will also be a relief to anyone who's tried to understand you, but can't, you shouldn't keep this from people (especially a partner), there are varying degrees and it is hereditary. If this is what you are diagnosed with. I would make an appointment with a Dr and tell him you suspect you have Aspergers and would like conformation either way.

So there you go, I do try to spread awarness of Aspergers because without it people get labeled excentric or strange. I almost forgot irnoy, they don't tend to undertand irony very well and take things quite literal. For example: The phone rings and I say "Would you just pick the phone up please" and an Aspergers person is likely to pick the who phone up, rather than answer it.

I find irony and sarcasm to be great forms of comedy.  I am the most sarcastic person anyone will ever meet and I love pointing out the irony in things.  LoL
As a kid, though, I had a horrible time with adages.  My dad would use them all the time.  I hated it when he said something like "I'll give you something to cry about."  I always thought, "what can he give me that'll make me cry?  A dead penguin?"  I didn't understand he was telling me to stop crying or he'll punish me for crying.  o.0
I still do misinterpret sayings, but I understand the concept more now.  As a child, I thought "Off Limits" was German for something (I spelled it "Awflimmez" in my head) until I saw it on a sign.  Once I saw "Off limits," though, it made sense.  We have limits, this is off of them.


@acousticeagle

Yes, I was ignored a lot as a child.  My siblings and I always had to say "Daddy" at least ten times in order to get his attention off of the TV.
I'll be talking and the person I'm talking to will just walk away like I don't exist; and I'm always being interrupted.  This happens a lot; even from people who aren't prone to interrupting.  I'll be saying something and, right in the middle of my sentence, someone else jumps in.  AND NO ONE SEEMS TO NOTICE THAT I WAS INTERRUPTED.  omg, it pisses me off.  It happens all the time.  I can never get a word in.  >_>
And, it's not like I'm always talking.  With the infrequency at which I open my mouth you'd think my thoughts would be cherished simply for the rarity of their public appearances.  But, nope.  Everyone's gotta be Kanye.  =/

btw - what are you guys' thoughts on Kanye West having Asperger's?  Now I that I know some stuff about it, it really suits him.  He's super-intelligent, focuses insanely on his music, and takes ten years to describe something that only makes sense to him (including his explanation).  He also expresses himself only to find out later that it was very offensive (I remember offering to help clean someone's house once not realizing that was rude... lol).  I used to be on the "Kanye's a Jerk" bandwagon until I started thinking about this.  Is Kanye West an egotistical asshat or could he possibly have a mental disorder?


OH!  One thing I know I definitely do that is a symptom of Asperger's, is that I can go on forever.  Thanks for reading this and for your support, you guys!

[gone]

Things seem to fit, but there is a danger I must bring your attention to. It's called Subjective Validation. http://www.skepdic.com/subjectivevalidation.htmlWhen a person wants to understand something about themselves they validate what they identify with but ignore what they don't. A bit like reading a horoscope (of course they're stupid though). But if you want Aspergers you can make Aspergers fit you with Subjective Validation.

I don't think you are but I would suggest reading up on it anyway.

I don't know who Kayne West is, but as you have described he's taken as a complete arse but the sound of it, yet when people think he may have apsergers this almost endears them to him. It's crazy isn't it, how people's opinion of someone can change just like that?
Which is why I try to spread awareness.

A clip of Sheldon from Big Bang Theory (I love this show)

[Joni]

My nephew has Asperger's and he acts somewhat differently from what you describe, though there can be great variation. It sounds more you have a personality disorder. Schizotypal personality disorder involves the detachment you describe and also your tendency to research and analyze a topic excessively.

I'm not a psychologist so don't take this idea as a diagnosis,

[kwingf]

I looked at Schizotypal Personailty Disorder and it moreso defines my mother.  Which is kind of funny because she was diagnosed with Asperger's and borderline Schizophrenia, but it says here that the one excludes the other.  huh

Anyway, I'm not paranoid nor do I hallucinate.  I'm here... just, like, by myself - I guess.

I didn't look at Asperger's syndrome believing I have it.  I wanted to know if there was a term for repeating oneself involuntarily.  That was all.  I wasn't looking for a diagnosis.  Then I read that it's called "palilalia" and is a symptom of Tourette's and Asperger's.  I know what Tourette's is, but I hadn't learned much about Asperger's.  Wanting to know everything about everything (because that's who I am), I decided to look it up.  And, as I was reading about it I started noting correlations betwixt myself and those diagnosed with Asperger syndrome.

As I noted in my original post, I tend to think that everything I do is completely normal.  So, I never thought to myself, "Hey, I'm different.  Maybe I have a mental disorder."  When I do notice differences between myself and others I generally tell myself that they are the ones who are eccentric or don't have a strong grasp on reality.  When wondering why I'm so much more intelligent than others I simply say that they didn't pay enough attention in school (even though I only, technically, have an eight-grade education).  I always disliked the stupid things people do, and I always wondered why they do them - from buying 36" lift kits for their trucks to simple small talk; I never understood it.  I always thought that maybe they just lack focus or enjoy being idle.  I never thought that maybe I have too much focus and honestly can not stand being stationary.

It was when I was reading that people with Asperger's feel isolated from and confused by the world that it hit me that I am different; not everyone else.  I don't know that I have Asperger's.  However, reading about it has led me to understand some things and believe that I might have inherited some of my mom's silliness - so to speak.

I'm 26 now and I've gone through life believing that I'm just weird.  So, I make attempts to change the things I get made fun of for (because who likes being made fun of?) like the palilalia, my aversion to touch and any attention in general, not looking people in the eyes (although I'm still unsure of how long we're supposed to do this... and why.  lol - I find I take in more information when I'm not trying to focus my gaze on something anyway), over-staying my welcome (and the spending whole time wondering if I have, in fact, done this and when would be the best time to leave... and how?).  I've always accepted that I'm socially awkward.  I thought it was just me.

Yet, reading about Asperger's and realizing that I'm an adult who still struggles with these things... It could be possible that it's a disorder of some type.  I remember I had a friend when I was 13 who had to take my shoe off and throw it outside to convince me that it was time to leave his house.  I remember getting dating advice from an episode of the Drew Carey Show (look her in the eyes for exactly five seconds, any longer is creepy).  I've only out-right asked one girl out in my whole life.  Other times it was through friends or (lame, I know) notes.  Twice did a girl ask me out.

These are things I've never addressed before, so please excuse if I'm gushing a little.

I hate being touched.  Even by my family.  I don't hate them I just don't like being touched by anyone.  I find that when someone tells me a story I just accept it as if I were reading a textbook.  When they finish and say, "Wasn't that [insert adjective]?!" it is then that I realize what the telling of the story was for.  Oh!  It was supposed to be funny or sad or ironic.  The whole time they were telling it I'm wondering "why are they telling me this story?"  Either way, nothing changes.  I just agree or disagree (depending) and go back to being me.  If I disagree I don't say much other than, "Well, not really."  Then I have a hard time explaining myself.

I play guitar.  I play guitar very well.  However, I will stop playing when someone walks by, enters the room, or takes notice of me playing.  I've never understood why.  I know that I play solely to entertain myself, but why do I stop when others are rejoicing as well?

I've never thought of myself as being as intelligent or talented on the guitar as people say I am; but, in all honesty, maybe I am.  People call me a walking encyclopedia.  And, it's all because I will spend hours researching random facts about random things.  If I come across something that I don't know everything about then I know what I'll be doing most of the night.  I'll be researching it; and everything that pops up in the research that I don't know about will open in new tabs.  I won't sleep until I know everything.  I've never though that was strange until just now...

My preferred hours of operation are at night time, when everyone in the house is asleep.  I like being alone.  If I could have only one other person in my life and no one else then I'd be content.  I understand the need for human companionship and I feel it as well; but when it actually comes to being around people, I'd much rather be back home with my dog and my guitar.

Looking people in the eye is something I have never understood.  I try so hard, but when my gaze meets theirs (or vice-versa) I look away suddenly and feel very embarrassed.


There are so many things that I've never thought about.  I read an article the other day which says most people with Asperger's, when asked when they first felt different, say it was during childhood.  I can say I've always known I was different; but no more different than Seth from Richard or Paul from my brother - just the general fact that everyone is their own special, individual snowflake (thank you, Tyler Durden).  After reading about Asperger's, I can say that I am a lot more different than Jill is from Beth.  Like two in 10,000 different.


[EDIT]


Oh yeah.  I'm, of course, not taking diagnoses from JoSchmo81 in Boise.  I'm just here asking questions.  Wondering what people who have experience with Asperger's have to say about my observations of myself.

Quick, funny story:

There is a Chinese food department at our local grocery store.  We go there about once a week because the generic Chinese food is great.  There's a girl there who is about my age - maybe a little younger - who is just beautiful and she and I get along great each time I'm there.  I suck at reading body language, so I can't say if she likes me or not.
I went in last night for our weekly Chinese fix and she was working the counter.  She asked how I'd been and I replied, "I think I might have Asperger syndrome."
She responded, "Oh!  I have that!  I was diagnosed with ADD and Asperger as a child."

I thought it was hilarious.  LoL


Made me wonder how two Aspergers would do together.  I mean, they'd be the only two people who truly understood the other; but the awkward silences would be deafening.  lol

[gone]

You obviously know yourself and it must be a relief to understand yourself further and recognise a reason for your differences. Suddenly it all makes sense and I'm thrilled for you, it certainly sounds like you have Aspergers.
I knew someone very well with Aspergers, he didn't tell me, but I'm very observant and I'm very good at psychology and I knew there was something & soon I uncovered what it was, and like you it was a revelation I was pleased to make.
He would do things that he thought appropriate, like put his arm around people, or exagerate facial expression. Obviously he was trying to fit in to society by mimicking the actions of people, but it wasn't appropriate and I could observe people felt awkward by it.

I guess they are stuck one way or another, either be themselves and awkward or put on a social act and be awkward. When people know the reason is Aspergers they are more accepting and understanding of that difference/awkwardness and can accommodate it.

I once screamed at the guy I mentioned above "If I wanted a fucking walking encyclopaedia I'd have fucking brought one, shut the fuck up" so you're comment about the walking encyclapedia is very true. Everything he observed from a bird "That's a Starling you know, they this and that" to the history of a pie, to how rocks are formed. He couldn't observe anything without giving the encyclopaedic definition and after 4 days of it I blew.. But it was true, all his knowledge was gained from books. He didn't have the ability to learn from experience or observations. Neither did he have the ability to imagine anything. I'm interested to know if you have imagination?
However we were good companions for the most part and laughed a lot. He was a compulsive liar though and I eventually tired of it.

Hope you get to spend some time with the girl in the store, let us know how it goes if you do :-)

[warmblanket]

this was interesting,

[Joni]

@kwingf...Have you read about shizotypal personality disorder? This sounds more like what you are describing than autism.

[psykoterapi]

I'm trying to keep this as grounded as possible in the real-life policies and procedures of Vatican exorcists (not because I favor Catholicism, but because they seem to have the most in-depth guidelines). I know that policy is to rule out all natural causes before appealing to a supernatural cause, through medical and psychological examination. I just don't know what that examination looks like. 
-------------------------------------