Why do women check other women out and judge their looks

[bluesky]

why do women look at other women and judge them by their looks?  i'm stopping doing this today.

[gone]

I don't understand, what would you judge them as?

[bluesky]

a lot of women look at other women to judge them by their looks  and whether they are as pretty as them or not, they compare them to themselves  you never do that?  ok

[gone]

AH I see, so the scale is 'prettyness'?

No I don't do this. I'm often told I'm very pretty. And in general women are not very nice to me, they tell lies about me and make up stories I guess to put people off me, not something that bothers me though.

I also know a few 'pretty women' and they're really nice people.
I do judge people though, I judge them on 'behavour' so if they make up stories about me, I judge them as people beneath me and not people I want to associate with or know.

I think attractive people get attacked because of their looks, but in the end if a person is defomating their character out of jealousy, it is not the pretty person that looks bad, but the name caller themselves.

[Razorblade]

because we construct our reality based on what others confirm or infirm us.

[pert -5]

The answer to the OP is so obviously simple.  It is because each and every woman surreptitiously desires every other woman, just not all of them know it.  It would make me so happy if women would just drop the facade, give in to this inherent desire, and then display this affection in public....  for their sake!  Only their sake, of course!

[Razorblade]

you forget one thing, men also compare themselves with other men...

[pert -5]

Eww.  Now that's a sticky situation, isn't it?  ...I'm not sure, but I think my last sentence is the most disgusting pun ever created.

[gone]

pert is that a misspelling of perv.. lol

I've never been jealous of a woman in my life. Those beautiful & lovely (the most beautiful & lovely ladies I have met were gypsy in origin) I enjoy the company of and like to be amongst them. It's almost fairytale like, to be happy in female company without men and value friendships of women above relationships of men (my utopia). (I am not homosexual pert so stop that right now).

But in western culture women judge themselves against other women and see other women as a threat. Therefore they become in direct competition for - men, friends, status etc.. and often resort to underhanded tactics to eliminate that competition. I have experienced this often but I don't compete & if for example a man would fall for such tactics I would de-value him. Infact when women have tried to interfere/take a guy from under me with manipulation etc I have stepped back & observed.. rather to determine if the male is of substance as if he wasn't he wouldn't be worthy of me. If that makes sense that is the psycholgoy I have concluded. And women try to steal guys because? if they are sucessful it makes them feel more attractive than their competition. Women are horrible.
I've observed the relationships of Islamic women with other women and they're supportiveness, friendlyness towards each other is something to be envious of. I think it's western culutre that women judge other women as competition rather than comrades, sadly.

[pert -5]

pert is that a misspelling of perv.. lol

Actually, it's a misspelling of Perv, with a capital 'P'.  I couldn't decide between that and "author of calculated bad humor."  Meh.

[Razorblade]

The gypsy women you are talking about are sadly extinct nowadays. Any woman that claims to be a gypsy is using preconceived mythological belief to use you in some way. I kindly invite you to come to Romania and see what a "real" gypsy is all about.

[gone]

there is no such thing as bad humour in my book, I even find bad jokes funnier than good jokes :-)

The gypsies I speak of were brought up in spain, there were about 17 children to one mother, with a few different fathers, who'm they called 'Pa this or Pa that'.. they had the traditional spanish gypsy dress and traditional horse & carriages, played music and traveled the festivals of Spain, of Uk heritage, they're multi-lingual, they now have houses but still travel for the forementioned industry as they formed business around it, and have become millionares, with villa's in the med and country houses in the uk. Still, the nicest people I've ever had the pleasure of, the boys too! They're of no religion, which is different to the Romany/Irish gypsies in the uk who are devout Catholics, althouth I like the lovely irish/romany gypsy girls, I'll give those isish boy a miss.

[hortonpilot]

"I think attractive people get attacked because of their looks, but in the end if a person is defomating their character out of jealousy, it is not the pretty person that looks bad, but the name caller themselves."

I think people experience a lot of envy and there is some strange behavior appearing now in our obese society.

Women particularly when obese exhibit some very odd behaviors , bully other women and co-workers, clearly they are not happy .

Envy and lack of personal responsibility are a real problem for many people?

[hortonpilot]

"Women are horrible."

 i don't know what is happening but there seems to be a new culture amongst women that is very suspect.
Lack of ethical behavior in the work-place is very normal.

I also see women hiding behind political correctness and being bullys.

[gone]

Funny you mention obesity. My daughter lives with her father (for the past few years) she is now bordering on obesity, I don't know how to bring her attention to this as she doesn't seem to know. She has no idea how to dress and came wearning skin tight white jeans with a shot top.. being white, skin tight and drawing attention to her bum, belly & legs which are huge. Her top was short and also stretch material that empahsised her spare tires and roles of fat. She's 17years old. She said 'How do I look, do you like my new clothes' at this point (as is always the case) I don't know how to respond. I know she sees guidance as criticism and I can't lie so it's REALLY difficult. I said they were nice clothes but they were a little tight. I think she could tell with my facial expression that I wasn't impressed, to which as usual she deflects and starts to say 'You should see what such a body wears at college bla bla' and (as is always the case) I have to say "we're not talking about such a body, we're talking about you'... Anyway it ended iwth 'Shut up calling me or I'll punch you and you know I will because I've done it before'..
So my hands are tied, there doesn't seem anything I can do to give guidance to my child with an attitude like that (that she gets from her father) I've tried to tell her she takes guidance as criticism which I think she takes in to consideration now but she still gets defensive and abusive.
Many years ago because of her behavour we had a 'family' worker and she said to me about the problems with my dauther 'You're really pretty, perhaps that's something to do with her behavour towards you'.. I was horrifed a professional could think the way I looked had something to do with my daughters behaviour and dismissed the idea and the woman as being stupid. But who knows, maybe there was something in it.
The thing is, even though she's always been hard work, my daughter was pretty, full of character & funny and very caring in nature, but now she's horrible, she's violent, aggressive, manipulative, abusive and is a liar - she talks like a boy, and is (borderline) obese, her face is always screwed up in anger or discust some other negative ugly emotion that is represented in her face, so I can say yes, she's become ugly on the inside and this is reflected on the outside. Sadly, it's heartbreaking to see and I just hope she emerges out of these teenage years a nicer person. My son (16 years) however is completely opposite, the diplomat, the intellect, incredibly attractive. She sees everything as 'opposing her' and gets on the defensive to which I say time & again 'People aren't opposing you, we're trying to help you and work with you'...
I think they view the world/society as being against them, which manifest in anger/manipulation/bullying etc.. sadly.. because we can work and get along together, it's ridiculous that we don't or 'can't. :-(

[hortonpilot]

Mum,

sad you are experiencing this stuff with your girl and the pain it causes.
Interesting what you say about your boy.
What is his take on things?

There is a trend for things to be regarded as normal when they are not, such as people wearing .........., people behaving in certain ways , so for you girl to say she is only doing what others do does not really cut it.

I am not sure how fat/obese people lead their lives and suspect it is with a level of difficulty, emotional as well as physical, a level of difficulty greater than that of someone who is not overweight and who is healthy.
One might speculate at what goes on in the mind and how they compare/feel towards those that fit the beauty model.
My feeling is that it is a very mixed emotion , anger-envy and on the other side one of power in knowing they will not be challenged when they step out of line.

You point out your daughter's aggression and i think this is the mechanism that compensates for lack of "good looks".
I work in health and notice that many women are overweight  and aggressive , in fact it doesn't harm promotion at all and the attitude some have leaves much to be desired.
So i wonder if this is learnt behavior , a coping mechanism that breaks all the previous rules?
PC society forbids us to be critical of people who have self-inflicted problems like this , so in a way it encourages people to lead a unhealthy lifestyle.
Essentially the problem is one of lack of proper eating habits.

As my partner points out , "we are what we eat" our weight and health help determine the type of energy we have, how we interact with others, life options and perhaps happiness.

The media seem to be feeding the whole situation of obsession with food and even making excuses for tubby people.
Sadly it is not an issue taken up yet by the feminists and it should be !

Links to poor health and quality of life are well proven and obvious , notion of comfort eating needs no explanation.
Society is being re-shaped before our eyes.

Horton

[gone]

My boys' take on it? The 3 of us went to the theatre and after a few hours together he was saying 'Stop it now you're getting on my nerves'.. She can be fun, she doesn't let up, playfight or whatever her demands upon people are constant and unmeetable.

I honestly don't think she realises how much weight she's put on in the past few months. Because she was still buying clothes that were 5 sixes too small for her (believing she was still the same size). I have mentioned it a few times now so I hope the penny is dropping, because if no one tells people I don't think they know. It's happened to me, I've gained a size or two at times and I haven't noticed until I come to buy a new item of clothing, so I know easy it can happen, but it shouldn't be denied, or the topic avoided. People are quick to say 'You've lost weight' but they never say 'You've put weight on'.. one is considered a compliment and the other an insult!

I think my daughter was pretty, she's got uglier as her personality has got uglier (since the time she went to live with her father). I wonder about learned behavour, I'm sorry to deviate but my neighbour is always screaming at someone, her child, her parner, someone on the phone, just the other day she was screaming at someone outside (not the first time).. Anyway I heard a few kids playing in their garden, I could only hear but one was a real bully and shouted and one was really passive. I wondered which was her kid.
would he be the one shouting like his mother, or would he be the passive one because he's so use to being shouted at? What do you think?

I eat healthily, I gather her father buys supermarket processed food, at times when I've mentioned nutrition she wont listen because I'm calling her or criticising her. So when she went to catering college I hoped she's gain an education in food & nutrition, but being around food all day she just eats more while she's there :-(

[hortonpilot]

Mum,

i was with the OHS office the other day and while i am listening to him i am wondering about staff problems, who and what type of people involved, the mechanics of the situation.
Fundemental issue is happy and together people cause the least amount of problems in the work place .
To my self i think the idea simple , just cull the bad eggs.
I don't mention this of course.

The bottom line is people are not happy , getting your body in good shape helps .

Happiness comes from within, does your girl know this?
We are also alone in the world in many respects , dealing with it can be liberating  and not in conflict with being giving -honest.

Horton

[hortonpilot]

Razor,

"because we construct our reality based on what others confirm or infirm us."
What if people get it wrong?
Relationship with how we project ourselves and materialism is very questionable?

Must be amusing sexual-dysfunction with men and expensive cars or real estate?

Horton
" Maybe if we have sex in the car i can come?"

[psyc kid]

ok, i'm just gonna throw my opinion out there. The only thing that comes to mind is that they need something to base themselves on. An example which i'm sure that everyone has had this experience, right after you get done taking a test the person beside you leans over and asks how you did. More than likely they will do this several times, they do this to see how they did compared to you. This happens especially if they did bad, trying to find a way to justify there score. This is much the same with women.

[HexHammer]

why do women look at other women and judge them by their looks?  i'm stopping doing this today.

Because women are usually hysterical group thinkers.