Being anxious all the time.

[Leenix]

Hi, my name is Leo and i'm 20 years old.

Since i was around 15 i started being very anxious mostly in the bus i took to go to school, since the atmosphere was really bad in there.

Now that i'm 20 i might wake up one day and just feeling Panic all the time, even the slightest sound, whisper, anything from an external source can set me off to panic on the inside.

To go into a more depth of my problem here it is.
I have phobia that i might possibly be speaking out loud or making weird noises.
I live in a society where people are noisy, make sounds they shouldnt make and when they act like that around me i panic.

For a fwe examples.
I got a new job a few days ago, and i found out i would be working with another guy.
This guy would Sigh a LOT and say, JESUS, Oh my GOD, for no specific reason. At a time he would say : It's your fault in a somewhat Serious and not serious way at the same time.

He made me fear that i might be doing something that's annoying like maybe talking out loud breathing too loud, sighing ( even though i dont ) or maybe he's just as anxious as me.

I dont know what to do, i panic a lot and i'm very anxious even when i'm in one room alone and people are in an other far away.
On the Inside i feel anxious and do crazy stuff, but on the outside i'm a Normal Person, i'm afraid that people know how i am on the inside as if i'm acting it out.

Does anyone else feel like this? Or am i just too crazy....

[SWM]

hi leenix

you give a very honest account of your internal world, i believe that takes strength and courage. you ask if anybody else feels this was and i can assure you that lots of people feel this way. the things that you describe are well known, common experiences for people who suffer anxiety. your not crazy. your anxious, there is nothing unusual about that.

there is a school of thought that says anxiety is created by the way that we think. the thoughts that you have make you feel anxious, you then act in ways that reinforces this anxiety, and you interpret other peoples actions as evidence that you are doing something wrong, this inturn leads to further problematic thinking and further anxiety.

this process can be stopped by identifying the thoughts that are causing the initial anxiety. i think you have already identified what your "hot thoughts" are. the believe that you are breathing funny making noises or thinking out loud.

what do you think of what i have said so far?

[Leenix]

Yeah you hit the spot.

I know what my problems are but cant do anything about them.
I constantly have racing thoughts and my head is in a different world and it makes me think, am i doing ok on the real world? Am i leting everyone know what my thoughts are?

I dont know what to do about it.

[SWM]

it would be uselful to know what you think might help. you know what your problems are, right! those "hot thoughts" yep?  do you see any possible solutions yourself?  what do you feel might help you?

[Leenix]

I dont think there's a way to help myself. It's something that cant be fixed, it's in my head.

What's making me worse now is my job... The guy i mentioned that Sigh's and Says God, Jesus all the time as if he is tired of "me".
For no reason out of nowhere i hear a : JESUS
Or a: OH MY GOD
or a : SIGH

For no reason, and he mumbles something else like : My head hurts

I cant stand him every day is like hell being next to him and having the tension that  Sigh or anything else can come at any moment scares me like hell, i'm too anxious now due to that person and my job is a good one too i dont want to quit because of that asshole.
He makes me feel as if it's me that's annoying him, i dunno if it's me. I try to be quiet and all but nothing.... He does his shit.

[Shell]

Hi Leenix!

I don't think anything can be "fixed," but everything can be helped.  When you say, it's in your head well if you allow yourself to get help, you can learn to get inside your own head and challenge those thoughts and change your way of thinking.

One of my tools given to me by my past therapist is cognitive thinking.  It is where you actually question your own thoughts, you ask "why am I thinking this?  why do I feel this way?"  Then, challenge those thoughts by using logic.  Here's a private little detail about me that I will use as an example:

For a long time, I was unable to take showers by myself.  I could start off fine, but my anxiety would eventuallyy drive me to call out to my husband to come and just be in the bathroom while I took my shower.  Just to make sure no one would be there.  At times when I was home alone, my anxiety would get so bad that I would literally curl up on the shower floor and cry because I didn't want to get out and face what might be outside. 

Sometimes having my dog(s) with me would help ease my anxiety.  However, most times when I got the courage to get out by myself, I'd have to run really fast as if I could escape what might have been there.

Anxiety can be very scary and I used to suffer lots of stress because of it.  Not to mention, it would drive my husband nuts having to come and just be there so I could have peace of mind.

Through therapy, I learned by practicing first.  I would go in the bathroom, stand by the shower and analyze the situation.  My thoughts would be something like this, "It's not so bad, see?  Nobody else is here.  Just me."  I'd look around and identify objects that might portray shadows while in the shower.  "There's a towel rack with a blue towel.  See?"  "This big shadow is just the toilet area - it's tall because it is an entire doorway.  If I keep it closed, I won't see the shadow."  Something lik ethat.

Of course, things would change once I am actually taking a shower.  But if I practiced, then I could remember what I practiced while I took a shower.  Here would be my thoughts while taking a shower - as soon as I start getting nervous.  "Did I see a shadow?  Is something out there?  No, remember?  Just the blue towel and the doorway for the toilet area.  Nobody's out there.  You're home alone, but you locked all the doors and windows.  The noises are the dogs playing, remember when they do that?  In the past, some things happened, but the house alarm is on.  See?  You're fine.  It's just you and the nice, hot water."

Do you see how I used logic to combat my thoughts?  Trust me, it took a long time but now I can enjoy a nice hot shower.  There are times when I might slip up, but I just practice relaxation breathing techniques and remember to analyze the situation.

You can analyze your situations, too.  We have different anxieties of course, but the technique is the same.  Identify what causes your anxiety to rise.

Situation:  Coworker mutters, "Jesus," under his breath.  This causes you to wonder what you've done wrong.  Tension builds.  Now you're starting to believe you're doing something to annoy this person.

Identify the trigger - Coworker muttering.
Identify your reactions - What did I do wrong?  Tension building within me.  I must've done something wrong.
Question your own reaction - Did I do something wrong?  No, I just came in and started working (or whatever the case may be). 
Utilize logic - I did not do anything to annoy him.  My actions in no way were meant to cause him harm.  I did nothing wrong.
Effect - Reduction of tension.
Identify possible justifications - Maybe he hates his job.  Maybe his marriage is in trouble.
Come to realization - I cannot MAKE anyone do anything.  I cannot change anyone but myself.  By changing the way I react to other's behavior, I in turn reduce my own stress.

Something like that, anyway.  I hope it helps. 

Seeking therapy may help you learn to cope with your anxieties.  Nothing is fixed, but you will learn to gain control of your mental and emotional reactions to things that would not normally cause anxiety in others who do not suffer from it.

Good luck to you.  Keep chatting with us!

[SWM]

hi Leenix

I dont think there's a way to help myself. It's something that cant be fixed, it's in my head.

things that are in your head are only thoughts, like the words that come out of  your mouth can be changed by the focus of your attention, your thoughts change with the focus of your attention too.

leenix, do the thoughts in your head change? can you change the thoughts that you have?

What's making me worse now is my job... The guy i mentioned that Sigh's and Says God, Jesus all the time as if he is tired of "me".
For no reason out of nowhere i hear a : JESUS
Or a: OH MY GOD
or a : SIGH

For no reason, and he mumbles something else like : My head hurts

you are personalising things that may not have anything to do with you.

ok, admittedly, he MIGHT be pissed that he has to work with you. he might not. do you think that there are other reasons why someone Might cuss and swear?

here is an exercise in rational thinking, try it before you next go to work. write down the reason why you think he acts the way he does, then try to make up as many reasons as you can why he is acting like he does that dont relate to you.

ie, he hates is job, he has worked there for ten years, never had a payrise, he never gets any sex. his mortgage is bleeding him dry, his ex wife is bleeding him dry, his kids are bleeding him dry, he is a secret alcoholic.  

i know i have taken all the best ones but give it a try see what you can come up with, and dont beat your self up with this.

I cant stand him every day is like hell being next to him and having the tension that  Sigh or anything else can come at any moment scares me like hell, i'm too anxious now due to that person and my job is a good one too i dont want to quit because of that asshole.
He makes me feel as if it's me that's annoying him, i dunno if it's me. I try to be quiet and all but nothing.... He does his shit.

would you be able to ask him how he feels, asking what is getting him down. maybe make apoint of questioning when he does these things that freak you out. bring it up with him and ask him what it is about. say something like "are you okay?, i notice you keep _____, is something wrong?" see what he says.

you mentioned in your post above that he makes comments like it "it is all your fault" making you feel responsible,  call him out on this too "really, me, what have i done?"

to be honest this guy sounds like he is unhappy with his job or something in his own life and you will come to realise this eventually. you also describe yourself as someone who is prone to anxiety and you might want to consider getting help with that before it leads to other problems.

if you cannot find time or money for professional help try a book called "mind over mood by dennis greenberger and christint padesky" Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think


there are loads of articles about anxiety and overcoming anxiety here http://icbt.biz

i amight not be able to reply immediately but i am here if you want to talk anything of this through. i hope everything goes aokay for you at work.