Bulimia

[warnbeep]

Hi there,

I've been reading your threads out there and thought that i'd post one too. First of all thank you for sharing your thoughts and threads - I feel slightly less alone in my own struggle knowing that there are others out there possibly experiencing similar things.

Not really sure what to write but will try to say a bit about what's going on for me perhaps. Don't know if i'll get a response but it helps just to write things down anyway. What's the harm I guess??

here goes nothing........... I've suffered from anxiety and depression on and off for about 15 years and although i've always known it - my GP has recently diagnosed me with having bulimia nervosa. It all feels very strange to me and frightening to have this out in the open I guess. This forum feels less threatening to talk about it. It feels like now my GP knows, that there's no going back and even if I could would I really want to?? I just don't know and feel very confused about it all. A big part of me doesn't want help, I just want to curl up with it as i always have done - it's familiar and familiar sometimes feels very safe to me. On the other hand i'm damaging my body and that's not good really. My fertility is damaged and this is devastating to me. This in itself has made me fairly unstable recently with bouts of self harm via drug overdoses. My GP knows about this, so don't worry about this if anyone is? I don't want to end my life, i just want to feel happier in myself and one day have children etc. I feel like such a failure of everyday of my life - not really sure how i'm going to bouce back from this but I am doing positive things to try to get well.

My GP has referred me to see a psychologist who i'm seeing on Friday -this is frightening. Don't know if I can go ahead with the appointment, like I said before if i'm helped then i will lose an old familiar friend - bulimia. It's twisted I know. It's just sooooo twisted and it very very frustrating.

If anyone has any thoughts that they would like to share with me then i'd appreciate it so much.

Thank you for listening.

[SWM]

Thank you for sharing this with us. i appreciate that and i have no doubt that you will be helping other people too just by sharing your experiences.

reding your story i could clearly see the conflict that takes place with in you, between wanting to be free of your battle with bulimia on one hand but on the other hand seeing bulimia as an old friend.
you say that a big part of you cannot let go of these ways, wanting to stay with what feels safe.

i wonder and ask you what is stopping you getting that help and overcoming your bulimia?

what frightens you about seeing the psychologist on friday?

[braindev]

Why did you decide, in your own opinion, to start doing this to yourself? Sometimes helping yourself can be as simple as looking and/or admitting at the root cause of the problem. Then when you see a psychologist, you may be more at ease talking to them. It works differently for every individual however.

[Honesty]

Bulimia is an eating disorder. Someone with bulimia might binge on food and then vomit (also called purge) in a cycle of binging and purging. Binge eating refers to quickly eating large amounts of food over short periods of time. Purging involves forced vomiting, laxative use, excessive exercise, or fasting in an attempt to lose weight that might be gained from eating food or binging. Bulimia is an eating disorder characterised by repeated episodes of overeating and a preoccupation with the control of body weight.
A person with bulimia often feels a loss of control over their eating as well as guilt over their behavior. They are usually aware that their behavior is abnormal. Bulimia is most common in adolescent and young adult women. People with bulimia are often of normal or near-normal weight, which makes them different from people with anorexia (another eating disorder in which the person does not eat).