Childhood experience

[Massive Attack]

Hello people.

I experienced something when I was a kid that I haven't really thought much about in my life, but lately, I'm been thinking a lot about it. I would like to hear other people's viewpoints.

When I was 7 or 8 years old, me and my family were coming home from a little vacation. Right outside our house, there was a car with a man inside, incredibly bloody. The front window had been smashed over him, and then he had been stabbed. He was bleeding a lot, and he was disoriented and dizzy, I saw him pretty close, and the knife was in our garden, the police and news reporters came and everything. I don't know if the man survived.

So, for such a young kid to experience this, especially right outside the home, where you are supposed to feel safe, must be incredibly traumatic and leave marks for life, right? That's the weird thing, I don't remember being uncomfortable when I saw it. I'm wondering if I was too young to understand how bad it was, is that possible? That I was actually unaffected because of my young age? This sounds very counter-intuitive compared to how most people think about childhood traumas? But I think I would find it very disturbing if I saw it now, as an adult.

I had some anxiety later, but I don't think it was related, it had nothing to do with blood or knives, just general anxiety, especially in school, the fear of failure was very strong with me. It still is, but not as much as when I was a child. Driving in cars and being in crowded places can also give me anxiety, but my mother has always encouraged me to just to overcome it by myself, she never contacted a psychiatrist, even though I suffered from a lot of anxiety and saw a bleeding man outside our house when I was a little kid. I didn't even know doctors who worked with people's mental health existed until I became like 14 or 15, I guess.

Later, when I grew up, she thought I had stolen some pills from her after me and my girlfriend broke up, which I did not. I didn't even know she had those pills, she had never told me that she suffers/suffered from occasional panic attacks. Maybe she had bad experiences from psychiatry when she was younger, and that's why that was never an option for me. What do you guys think? I would appreciate any thoughts. Thanks

[S. Earl Martin]

What is it you want to know exactly? The fact you didn't react to the bloody guy per say is not an unusual reaction. Many people experience a kind of shock and just freeze or are in a kind of denial. Especially kids. This is common when kids are abused. They just blink out and just let it happen. Then they may remember it years later and react then.

Different people react differently. I am a take charge kind of person. I always have been. I have seen a number of people hurt or even dead. Serious car wrecks. People who have fallen from heights. When I was about 7-8 my brother and I were at a school building and heard a loud explosion. We ran to see what happened and saw what was left of two kids. They had climbed a fence and went into an electrical area to get a freesbe. They touched something they shouldn't and bang. I didn't freck out. We just went and told a teacher to call the fire department.

If the memory is causing you anxiety? Then try and figure out why. If you think you need some kind of counsling? Then seek that. If you think you have some other mental health issues? Then seek help for those. Or research it on your own. If you think you can handle it. Everyone has anxiety sometimes about certain things. It is natural. It is when it gets out of hand we need to see about controlling it. Peace!

[Massive Attack]

Thanks for the answer. Thinking about the memory is not causing anxiety. I have always remembered it too, I'm just thinking about why it didn't affect me more.. But it's not like I was in denial or froze either, I completely understood what was happening, but I just didn't care much. Almost like I was a sociopath. But if I saw it now, I know I would find it uncomfortable. So maybe I was just too young to care, in a way. I guess many people can't imagine that, and I find it weird myself, but then again, most people aren't experts in psychology, even though many people like to think so, lol..

[S. Earl Martin]

I understand. I am someone who doesn't panic and I react the same way. I did as long as I can remember. If that makes me/us strage or crazy. I guess that makes two of us. LOL!

I personally don't think there are any experts in Psychology. It is so complex even the best in the field have no clue sometimes. They have to resort to a best guess.