constant obsession with men. what do i have? help.

[ideefixe]

I wasn't sure which category this really falls under, but I have been dealing with this since I was 14 and was hoping to get some insight and just to get it off my chest.

When a guy I like or am with does any tiny thing that could be construed as him not being interested, even if it's just as easily explained in a totally innocent manner, I freak out, have incredibly self-destructive thoughts about my self-worth, become convinced he isn't really into me, and then, to deal with the anxiety, call and text repeatedly. Hundreds of times. It's like a compulsion, every time I grab the phone it calms my anxiety, only for it to return a minute later, causing me to grab my phone again. Otherwise I descend into hysteria, while knowing the entire time that what I'm doing is damaging and counterproductive. I can't seem to stop or control this behavior and of course, even if the original cause of him not calling or not being able to meet me at a given time had nothing to do with interest, the barrage of texts and calls always scares him off. I think I'm going to be alone forever, even though I'm gorgeous. I'm 22 and I can't remember a single time I haven't been obsessed with one guy or another since I was 14. I can only get over one by becoming obsessed with another. I've given up and consciously done that - become obsessed with someone new - when it's gotten to be too much to handle with one guy. Many have threatened to call the police on me. I wish I could stop. I've slept with like 30 guys, all only one or two or a few times, because I'm a ticking time bomb when it comes to any relationship. I'm so lost.

[INTP]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults#Attachment_styles

Sounds like you have insecure anxious–preoccupied attachment style.

These problems with attachment styles are bit tricky since they usually come from parent-child relationship and are most likely enforced with your early relationship with men. Its a very deep rooted way of seeing the whole relationship thing.

My advice would be to get some psychotheraphy and leave men alone till you feel like you have more healthy way of being with men. These things wont go away by themselve, even if you could find someone to marry, these thoughts of him not liking you anymore if hes slightly pissed off at you wont go away and might ruin the relationship with that special person or send you to couple therapy.

But you know, this isnt your fault, blame your parents and/or ex boyfriends.