Do I have some mental disorder?

[floyd]

Hi everyone,
I feel little weird to ask this question. I am an everyday average 28 year old man with no great achievements in life.
Being an average (really at the center of bell curve) guy I feel that its better that I don't get into any relationship and procreate, as my children will also be average and will have to go through the same miseries in life as I have to. In other words, I didn't make choice to be here and believe in the philosophy that its not fair to give birth to children. Also, in my opinion, relationship between man and woman is only for procreation. Romance etc. are all gimmick and really don not make much sense.
I am straight and have average health. I was never in any relationship (never tried) and am quite indifferent about this situation. However, what bothers me is the attitude of other people about me for this situation, particularly my parents who I love most in the world. They think that something is wrong with me and trying to put pressure on me to get into a relationship.
Socially I am characterized as a man who you can always go to for help. Many a times I have helped people by putting myself at loss/risk. In reality I don't care about this internally. Everything in the world seems to me as temporary and fleeting. I really don't care much.
Recently I read about  grandiosity as a mental disorder. I am little concerned whether I have that condition?
Do you people think I need medical help, or this is just a type of personality and I have my own philosophy and I can live with it.
Thanks,
Floyd

[NataEames]

I really don't see anything wrong with you, Floyd.

And from your self-explanation, you definitely don't have any grandiosity.

You do sound a little apathetic and indifferent towards the world. I'm wondering if this is recent or have you always been that way?

This may most probably be just your personality.

[floyd]

I really don't see anything wrong with you, Floyd.

And from your self-explanation, you definitely don't have any grandiosity.

You do sound a little apathetic and indifferent towards the world. I'm wondering if this is recent or have you always been that way?

This may most probably be just your personality.

Thank you for your reply. I think I have been like this ever since I began to think about things.
However, I have one feeling that makes me think if there is some problem. I feel like the people who get into relationship and have children are lesser mortals. Not like I feel I am special or anything, but the act of living a "normal" life is overrated. We actually don't "have to" get into relationship.
Hopefully, its just part of my personality. I never put down my thoughts like this before and feel better now
Thanks you.
-Atul

[NataEames]

I don't understand why you think that is abnormal. "Normal" life is typical, tv-show inspired, servant-living. I don't want to live as an ant in the society, following anything and everything the country tells me to do.

So many people get into relationships just because they think they need to, not that they actually need it for themselves. People would be very happy coming together, being happy and coming apart when it is over. Yet, they get married and are stuck with the person they may not even love anymore. When the husband is fulfilling his duties by having sex with his wife, he is thinking about another woman, when the wife is having sex with her husband, the is thinking about another man.

Their children watch them fight and yell at each-other or maybe just pick up on the negative feelings between them and that affects their development and their future.

If this is normal, FUCK normality!

The only reason I'm getting married is because we already have a more or less open relationship and we are much stronger friends first, then lovers. Getting married will change nothing for us.

[floyd]

I don't understand why you think that is abnormal. "Normal" life is typical, tv-show inspired, servant-living. I don't want to live as an ant in the society, following anything and everything the country tells me to do.

So many people get into relationships just because they think they need to, not that they actually need it for themselves. People would be very happy coming together, being happy and coming apart when it is over. Yet, they get married and are stuck with the person they may not even love anymore. When the husband is fulfilling his duties by having sex with his wife, he is thinking about another woman, when the wife is having sex with her husband, the is thinking about another man.

Their children watch them fight and yell at each-other or maybe just pick up on the negative feelings between them and that affects their development and their future.

If this is normal, FUCK normality!

The only reason I'm getting married is because we already have a more or less open relationship and we are much stronger friends first, then lovers. Getting married will change nothing for us.

I concur with you to some extent. I don't feel that my lifestyle is abnormal. Hoevever, people are making me feel that.
As I said earlier, I don't care much about things in general, but at the same time I do care about insanity. May be that is one thread, that is keeping me in this society, making me do things which are really mundane in my opinion.
I don't think I am depressed when sometimes thoughts of killing myself comes to my mind. It is more philosophically driven thought than some disappointemnt. Now this is what I feel.
However, I do read a lot and am open to all ideas (philosphical). Living in this world doesn't make much sense.
So far I haven't found a single good reason to live this mundane life. Last thing I need is religious or romantic view about life as a reason to live as that is frivolous as I consider both as scam.
May be this is what people call identity crisis, but I am only worried about getting insane because these thoughts are taking a lot of my mental bandwidth (mostly because of other people imposing their standards on me looking that I am calm and indifferent.)
Anyways, I wish you a happy and satisfactory life after marriage
-Atul

[gone]

If you had 'grandiosity complex' you would not call yourself 'average'..

From what I notice you have some inner contradictions going on. You say you are average then say people who have children are lesser mortals than you? 

You're the one with the miserable life, children bring happiness to a lot of people. You are arrogant to assume they are lesser than you without the knowledge or experience. I think that's your problem you're arrogant, you are moaning about what people expect of you but then you are also moaning that life isn't up to your expectations (mundane you say).

If you have never been in a relationship (like you have never had children) how do you know they're not great? you don't, again you have aready made your mind up without the knowledge or experience.

I think your problem is expectations. The media & social pressure make people feel they should live a certain way. But there is no right or wrong way to live on planet earth. It is a beautiful and wonderous place though, and I for one am very happy to experience it. The sky, the river, the hills and stars.. Why would you not want to experience it?

Maybe your world focuses on people too much, wake up and smell the roses (literally) get out in the natural world, see a tree, a rabbit under the hedge, a sunset, forget people for a while if they're bothering you, remember you're on planet earth not on planet society and try to enjoy it. 

[floyd]

If you had 'grandiosity complex' you would not call yourself 'average'..

From what I notice you have some inner contradictions going on. You say you are average then say people who have children are lesser mortals than you? 

You're the one with the miserable life, children bring happiness to a lot of people. You are arrogant to assume they are lesser than you without the knowledge or experience. I think that's your problem you're arrogant, you are moaning about what people expect of you but then you are also moaning that life isn't up to your expectations (mundane you say).

If you have never been in a relationship (like you have never had children) how do you know they're not great? you don't, again you have aready made your mind up without the knowledge or experience.

I think your problem is expectations. The media & social pressure make people feel they should live a certain way. But there is no right or wrong way to live on planet earth. It is a beautiful and wonderous place though, and I for one am very happy to experience it. The sky, the river, the hills and stars.. Why would you not want to experience it?

Maybe your world focuses on people too much, wake up and smell the roses (literally) get out in the natural world, see a tree, a rabbit under the hedge, a sunset, forget people for a while if they're bothering you, remember you're on planet earth not on planet society and try to enjoy it. 

Thank you for taking time to write to me. I really appreciate.
Actually, there are certainly some contradictions going on in here and that is what that brought me here. And by the way, my judgement (so to say) about inferiority of "overrated mundane" life as I put it is not relative to my own life. I am troubled by the inferiority of the entire humankind (including myself).
May be a journey through a relationship can teach one, more about relationships but not the worth of it in my opinion.
Now that leads to important question to ponder upon...."is looking for worthiness really important?"
If answer is yes, then getting into relationship is not going to help much, may be a little to know about that by experience.
If answer is no, then everything we see around doesn't have meaning anyway.
May be my arrogance is the cause of my insulation to the ideas that other people find beautiful, but I find mundane. Do other people too think that way?
BTW Ii do enjoy nature but my entire post is all about human relation aspect so I don't feel that the comments about enjoying nature is relevant at all.
Perhaps, I am putting question in wrong forum. May be it is more apt for a philosophy forum than a mental health forum. But still, if people have some views please let me know.
-Floyd

[gone]

From what you say I don't think you have a mental disorder. Your thoughts not odd at all, in fact quite normal. You do sound a little disolusioned though and to be honest you seem a little depressed. And I know that's the D word but having no enthusiasm and questioning life and finding things mundane with no motivation ."is looking for worthiness really important?" are signs. But we all feel this way at times. Only those influenced by media will seek 'medication' because that's what we're expected to do (obviously depression is big business and makes people rich - but it's part of the natural human condition most of the time)... Many people deny depression and only when looking back realise they were. It's kind of a taboo.

The reason you are here asking these questions is because we're presented with a model of 'normal' and if we don't fit that model we start to question if we are 'normal'.. But in truth the model 'normal' is suppressive and totally NOT NORMAL..
Most people are boring, sedate and stupid, most media is mundane, mind numbing and well you know already. Yes of course other people think like this. It depends what rocks your boat. The X factor show maybe the highlight of someone's week, but for another to gain the same impact they would need to bungy jump. It's about finding what does it for you. However when depressed there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that can rock a boat.. Until it's passed.

Inferiority of human kind. Hehe funny you should say that. Just today I wondered how the human race has come so far. I mean the technology, architecture, engineering etc... when most people are like Homer Simpson, how have people achieved so much? There seems a massive difference in culture between those intelligent and those not so intelligent. Finding where you fit regardless of where you come from makes a difference to quality of life, I find.

[NataEames]

Thanks, Floyd But truly, nothing will change between me and my fiance after we're married. We just need a marriage certificate because we're going to adopt a baby.

Other people love to make those who are different feel like they are abnormal. Ex: If there are 20 fat women in a line and 1 thin one, even if the fat women find her pretty, they would make sure they make her feel anorexic or something. This is shallow human nature.

You shouldn't ever let them make you feel bad about how you are. I've been different my entire life and most of the people on this forum are not like the rest of the world. That's why I love them! There are different people in the world too, even if they are a minority. But that, in my opinion, makes them special.

[floyd]

Thanks, Floyd But truly, nothing will change between me and my fiance after we're married. We just need a marriage certificate because we're going to adopt a baby.

Other people love to make those who are different feel like they are abnormal. Ex: If there are 20 fat women in a line and 1 thin one, even if the fat women find her pretty, they would make sure they make her feel anorexic or something. This is shallow human nature.

You shouldn't ever let them make you feel bad about how you are. I've been different my entire life and most of the people on this forum are not like the rest of the world. That's why I love them! There are different people in the world too, even if they are a minority. But that, in my opinion, makes them special.

Thanks! I'll try to keep that in my mind.
However, I agree with psychomother that I have some contradictions going on and may be I am disillusioned. On one hand I say I don't care on the other I am here asking questions to reassure myself.
But then may be that differentiates this behavior with the depression.
If one tries to break down even one's own personality, it becomes so difficult. I don't know myself!
The discomfort of ignorance is so smothering.
Floyd