help help help.

[12345]

Im 20. Im anxious all the time. about pretty much everything. about... getting into law school, about my gpa not being good enough, about... being alone for the rest of my life, about what im going to do when i graduate, about poverty in this country and in the world. about wasting time by feeling anxious. about making things too hard on myself. about how what i do in the next few years are so crucial to how the rest of my life pans out. guilty about how i have such a good life when others in the world have to fight to live every day. I feel like ever since I graduated high school, my emotional strength completely fell to shambles. When I was younger, I felt like I was invincible. It was hard for me to cry- I was strong and confident. I believed in myself and the things I wanted to do and I was outgoing and friendly.

My parents are divorced. When they were together, my mom would cry sometimes for no reason. When I was in high school, I wasn't anxious, but I suffered from depression. For most of high school, I had a boyfriend who was my best friend and before I met him I was angry and sad. But after I met him I wasn't angry anymore- just sad. Even though he made me happy. He is closest I've ever been with anyone- ever, and we're not together anymore. It's fine, it's a part of life to meet people that change you but for some reason they're not such a big part of your life anymore.

I get anxious when I think about the way I feel during a panic attack. Lately it's been in social situations. I think about having a panic attack in front of my friends and the thought is just mortifying- it's a positive feedback system. It's awful.

I want to get help, but that makes me anxious too when I think about how much work I have between school, work, and studying for the lsats and I feel like i don't have time to deal with this right now.

this is awful. Im too young for this, and I don't have time.

[12345]

I would feel like such a failure if I don't graduate with the gpa I want. I equate grades lower than what I want, to be indicative of me being too stupid, which I already think- I feel like there is something wrong with me and Im not as smart as I should be. And trying my hardest isn't good enough for me. I better get the job done or I fail.

[SWM]

hello,
welcome to our little community.

reading you message i get the sense of you being in such a tension with all you worries pulling your mind all over the place. i really would like to help you if i could. help can come in many forms.

when a person asks for help they will often have an idea of what they think that help will be like. when a person is aksed to help somebody they will also have an idea of what they think might help. often those two ideas of help dont match. what kind of help do you think you need? / what might we do to help you?

helping people through a forum is quite limited, all we can do really is ask questions and make suggestions or give advice and discuss your views.

all that said, simply talking about your problems or in our case writing them and sharing them with our members can be a really big help.

if you are in university i am sure that they will have an occupational health or student counsellor and this should be free to you. one hour a week out of your schedule will help you to work through troubles that might consume 10-20 hours of your week in worrying.

from what you have said i get the impression that your anxieties stem from your perception of your self, your perception that you are not perfect, and your belief that if you are less than perfect now and in the future then your life is going to be pooh. (Pooh being my polite way of saying shit) am i right in my observation?

[12345]

Yes to simplify it, you are right. Recently, the onset of my panic attacks are becoming more frequent . I've been having trouble breathing pretty much most of the time though. Trouble breathing meaning my chest feels tight and my breathing is irregular. I know it likely has nothing to do with having actual respiratory problems and more with talking myself into thinking I can't breathe. As for limited help on forums, I do have a few questions...

1. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can calm myself down so that I won't feel as though my chest is so tight all the time?

2. Also, I was wondering if being in closed and moving places like the subway, a car, or an airplane can make one more anxious and trigger racing thoughts and panic attacks? That seems to be the trend with me...

3. Does panic attacks come raging, suddenly and quickly? or can they consist of just difficulty breathing, tingly hands, and racing thoughts? Sometimes I have full-blown panic attacks (on the subway and airplanes) but mostly it is just feeling like on the brink of a full-blown attack but it just never comes. But it's still emotionally draining and interferes with whatever I'm doing at the time.

4. Can people who suffer from panic attacks be restored to pre-anxiety conditions? Or will they be forever changed by their anxiety and relapse all the time? I have a frightening suspicion that anxiety disorder, or any mental disorder rather, is like a gripping addiction... incurable and tragic.




Thanks for your help!!!! I really appreciate it.

[Shell]

Whew!  You have quite a load on your shoulders.  From what I've read, I can see why you are feeling so anxious. 

First, I'd like to say that you should definitely speak with a counselor about this so that you can get the appropriate help.  You mentioned that seeking help makes you anxious -- that's okay, it's normal to feel anxious.  You don't know what to expect from a therapist and I think Stan said it perfectly - your idea of the help you need and their idea of help might not match.  BUT by working together, you'll be able to allow yourself to receive the type of help you do need.

It looks like many stress factors come into play:  You mom's issues, your own self esteem and confidence, maybe even claustrophobia on top of all that.

Your trouble breathing sounds like your body's response to the anxiety -- a good coping technique that can help you is breathing/relaxing.  This won't stop you from thinking the thoughts that cause your anxiety, but it can be a great way to help you calm yourself. 

Here is a good link that can help you practice relaxation:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_relief_meditation_yoga_relaxation.htm

Deep breathing can help when you are feeling claustrophobic too.

3. Does panic attacks come raging, suddenly and quickly? or can they consist of just difficulty breathing, tingly hands, and racing thoughts? Sometimes I have full-blown panic attacks (on the subway and airplanes) but mostly it is just feeling like on the brink of a full-blown attack but it just never comes. But it's still emotionally draining and interferes with whatever I'm doing at the time.

They can come at any time -- usually triggered by something, though.  Discover what triggers them by asking yourself what made them come.  Find some place to sit and breathe slowly and ask yourself questions - what were you doing when the anxiety attack came?  What were you listening to?  Did someone say something that triggered it?  What were your thoughts?  Take your time and analyze what brought the anxiety attack.  If you do manage to find the trigger, ask yourself why did it trigger an anxiety attack.  Why did you respond that way?  These are things that a counselor/therapist can better help you with.  I strongly encourage you to make an appointment - I truly hope you do.

4. Can people who suffer from panic attacks be restored to pre-anxiety conditions? Or will they be forever changed by their anxiety and relapse all the time? I have a frightening suspicion that anxiety disorder, or any mental disorder rather, is like a gripping addiction... incurable and tragic.

I don't think there is a cure, per say, but I do believe that if you are given the right coping techniques that you are able to stop them right before they happen.

I haven't had an anxiety attack in about a year or so, but I've had many potential attacks.  By using my coping techniques, I'm able to stop them before they happen.

I hope I was of some help.  If not, I'm sure Stan, Corwin, and the others here will be able to offer more of their advice.

Please keep us updated. 

Keeping you in my thoughts,
Cecile

[SWM]

Yes to simplify it, you are right.

if i am right in my observations then working on these beliefs might also give you some relief. this is something that will take longer and should really be done with therapist or counsellor. the belief that you hold about yourself and your performance in order to acheive success and be happy in your future, is not a bad or good belief, it is not right or wrong necessarily. but does holding this belief help you. it seems not. could the opposite of your belief also be true. this is not the kind of material that is suitable for working through on a forum. certainly talking about your ideas, getting opinions from other members about what they believe, these things will help you test the reality of your situation but it would be difficult for you to attain the level of psychological contact that therapy would provide.


i could do no better than Cecile in answering your questions. the link cecile provides seems like a good site. if you do need more help with breathing exercises i could try to go through some with you. also relaxation CD's and guided meditation CDs are good value. if you get a a good one.

it is possible to recover from mental health problems. it is possible to have a good quality of life after experiencing problems. therea re many people here testament to that fact.

[12345]

Thank you both for your help. I have an appointment this Tuesday with a psychologist. Hopefully these waves of anxiety will be less frequent and not as nerve wracking!

[SWM]

it would be great to hear how you get on, and what you make of therapy.

was it worth doing, etc?

[shadow]

When you sense a panic attack coming, first get your breathing in check. My counselor told me to breathe in, hold it for 4 seconds, then breathe out for 4 seconds. Do this for 5 minutes.... when you're having a panic attack, it seems like a long time. It really does help though. The next thing you should do is write a list of everything that has you worried. Go down the list and come up with ways to cope with these things.  Get your mind off of the worries, and focus on things you enjoy for awhile.

Talking to a counselor really helps too.