How my depression effects me

[DarkPoet]

Perhaps this might help those who are wondering what it feels like to be depressed. I've been diagnosed more than once with severe depression, I've been on many different medications, currently am on Lexapro 20MG but am supposed to be switching over to Xanax.

So here are my symptoms of depression, currently right now they are bad the Lexapro does nothing at all. I don't eat much anymore unless forced basically, I have to be constantly reminded to eat and when I do I don't eat much. I feel like everything is pointless, everything is worthless, that I deserve nothing and no one. I cry a lot, I don't sleep during the NIGHT unless I have my Ambien (which I partially take the Ambien because it helps with my moods, whether this is a good thing or a bad thing I don't know). I sleep most of the day during the day, I have absolutely no energy at all. But curiously when I'm with my friends I act completely different, I'm still depressed but I hide it because I do not want to burden them or annoy them too much with all of my negativity and pessimism.

I get body aches as well, I haven't been playing guitar much anymore, I haven't written anything in forever, I don't do anything anymore but sit online or sleep.

I also have to be forced to get up to shower, I sleep so much I don't want to get up to shower because showering makes me feel like I'm going to faint (probably because I do not eat).

This would be what we call major depression and if you are like me, you really should see someone about it because it isn't fun. I'm hoping the Xanax will work. I'll let you know if it does.

[liza123]

Dark Poet, I thought that you mentioned about devoting your life and time to the love of your life in one of the threads. Why are you feeling so depressed? Doesn 't Xanax have side effects?

Care to share further? I also get depressed at times but, I pray to God and it lifts up my spirits. Sometimes,  I do stuff to make myself happy. Sometimes, certain things just pulls me back to an optimistic mood, those are the times that I feel God is 'working'

[SWM]

@ DP
Have you heard of a book called mind over mood?

the book is a self help book based on cognitive behavioural therapy.

or www.livinglifetothefull.com

you can register for free at livinglifetothefull.com, there are workbooks and exercises that have good evidence base supporting them. the site is written by Doctor of Psychiatry Chris Williams.  and is specifically to help people overcome depression anxiety and panic.

[DarkPoet]

Dark Poet, I thought that you mentioned about devoting your life and time to the love of your life in one of the threads. Why are you feeling so depressed? Doesn 't Xanax have side effects?

Care to share further? I also get depressed at times but, I pray to God and it lifts up my spirits. Sometimes,  I do stuff to make myself happy. Sometimes, certain things just pulls me back to an optimistic mood, those are the times that I feel God is 'working'

True, and if he ever stumbled across this forum I wouldn't want to think that he doesn't bring me up. I just wish I could be with him instead of 2 hours away, living here is a bit like hell, and I miss him. But in December I will be living with him, so that's what's keeping me optimistic.

All medicine has side-effects, sometimes the benefits outweigh the risks though. 

[liza123]

I was thinking of serious side effects especially in the long run. Certain medications have stronger effects, something like milder painkillers to stonger ones.

I am glad that you will be joining the love of your life in December. Hang on! 

[why]

after reading a lot of these stuff here i can say that my partner is depressive. Because of his indifference to the normalty of life, i am often saddened and i think i am starting to think that i dont know him anymore. My problem is, is depression a contagious mental problem?

[SWM]

depression has strong relation to the way in which a person thinks,  cognitive behavior therapy is so successful at treating depression because it focuses on the cognitions and emotions and the resulting behaivour. change the way you feel by changing the way you think.

this happens in reverse also, if you spend a lot of time in a negative environment or with negative people you may, depending on your personality, begin to think negatively.  the fact that you say "this saddens me" gives the suggestion that you are already beginning to feel down. i wonder whether you have begun to think negatively also?

this book Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think by Dr C Padesky, is a useful tool with many exercises, based on cogntive behavioral principles that will help you to identify and change negative ways of thinking.

[hulala]

I have just one answer for all your queries, "Delight in small things". Our life is a precious gift of God made up of millions of moments and its up to us how we utilize these moments. Enjoy gossiping, chit-chatting, singing, dancing whatsoever you feel to do, enjoy it.