Author Topic: How to cope with a boyfriend who has mental disorders  (Read 4151 times)

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jmatt20

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How to cope with a boyfriend who has mental disorders
« on: March 30, 2009, 09:48:55 AM »
I'm a gay male and my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months now. Before we became boyfriends I did know that
he faced certain mental issues such as, schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, mood changes, depression and so on.
Because of him having these issues, does affect our relationship. Its hard for him to show any emotion towards me, it seems as if
he no longer cares about me, and our communication isn't that great.
I know he cares about our relationship, because we have talk about this. He tells me that
his mental disorder does cause him to be different and act different. All he wants is to be normal. He does take medication
and visits a therapist once a week, usually.
I love him and really do care about him. It hurts to see him this way. I often feel helpless, nevertheless i keep
strong and tell him everything will be fine, all we must do is wait it out and he knows that i am here for his support.
I really want to keep this relationship, and breaking up with him because of his issues only makes it seem as if
I never cared and that I just gave up on him.
Many times I come home from work crying because I feel so lost and paranoid that maybe he really doesn't care about us.
But then I do must understand that his issues do cause him from keeping in contact with me and keeps him from making decisions.
I really need help. What can I do to help save this relationship? How should I take this?

SWM

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Re: How to cope with a boyfriend who has mental disorders
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2009, 05:52:29 PM »
hi jmatt

it is sounds like such a difficult situation for you. i really felt for you when i read your message but i have found it difficult to respond because this relationship seems to be so fragile and so precious for you.

there are so many uncertaintities in your situation and that also makes it difficult for me to know how to answer your requests.

there are some things that i felt i should bring up for your consideration and maybe that will help us both move on to a better understanding of your situation.

there are two things.

you say your boyfriend has sschizophrenia and bipolar disorder.  are you certain that your boyfriend has both of these conditions?

you say that your boyfriends mental health problem prevents him from keeping in contact with you. could it be that this is your boyfriend rather than his problems? i mean having a mental health problem would not keep somebody from contacting their loved ones per se.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

jmatt20

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Re: How to cope with a boyfriend who has mental disorders
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2009, 09:33:13 AM »
My boyfriend does have both bi-polar and schitzophrenia disorder, which makes him emotionless and what not.
Since my boyfriend does have these issues, it does cause him to not want to socialize at times, sometimes
he doesn't want to be bothered and im understanding of that. And it's hard because sometimes I wish our relationship
was like any other normal relationship without all these issues. But I still love him and will continue to give
support and be there for him.
When I wrote my last message, I was feeling depressed about the situation. But things are getting
better now. We both are working on his issues together. I only hope he gets better. I know that his
issues do get in the way in our relationship, but I'm keeping strong and giving him my full support.
Im feeling so much better about our relationship. I do know that his issues may come back, these issues have
him like a roller coaster, he'll be fine for 2 weeks or so then his issues come back. Just like a roller coaster, it has
him up and down.

seekinghga

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Re: How to cope with a boyfriend who has mental disorders
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2009, 09:03:52 PM »
That is very commendable, you staying with your boyfriend in spite of all of this.  He must be one special guy.  Keep us posted if you get the chance.

Remember, it is through the greatest of trials that one discovers the brightest of joy.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2009, 09:42:53 PM by seekinghga »

arjline06

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Re: How to cope with a boyfriend who has mental disorders
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2010, 09:23:28 AM »
Hi guys, matt and his boyfriend really have a difficult situation but I am glad that they are still fighting. Despite of all those challenges in their relationship, they are trying to make all things become normal. And I am hoping for his boyfriend's recovery and good health.
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NataEames

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Re: How to cope with a boyfriend who has mental disorders
« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2010, 08:33:22 PM »
Dear Matt,
you need to stay strong for yourself and for your boyfriend. In a situation like that, he will need you a lot. But be sure that when he gets better (which he will because theres a lot of therapy and medication for schizophrenia and bipolar), he will always be thankful and always take care of you when you need him.
My boyfriend got me through my rough patches. I was sick and depressed and even suicidal. He didn't fight with me, even though i know i pissed off a lot of people with my moods and behaviors. He just took care of me not like a lover but like a caring family member.
Try to be there for your boyfriend as much as you can, he needs you.
Good luck

 

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