Multiple Personality?

[Miss_Montford]

Hello!
I would like to hear an objective opinion about my friend's case, and beforehand say my thanks to those who take time to read this and help me

I study Psychology as a hobby, my Sister is a Psychologist, and she is very good, but as this concerns a good friend that she knows I'm quite shy in asking her about it, but I think this young man may have Dissociative Identity Disorder, and i know i can help him if it's the case, I'm quite worried.

He has told me in confidence that he has been abused in childhood, and i know for a fact that he's been through a lot. His little brother fell out of a car and he blames himself for it, as well as got blamed for it by his parents, his brother is fine but this still haunts him. Also, he's got difficulties in relationships because his first few relationships (since he was 14!) he was cheated on and treated badly, i met his first ex and she wasn't so sane herself, as she destroyed his property, threatened to get him into trouble and actually did many times by making up things and "denouncing" it in school, and as i recall him telling me, only wanted him for sex and threatened to commit suicide if he left her, even though she cheated. I know for a fact his relationship with her has affected him a lot, and how not if it was his first, and i believe it might have something to do with his personality problems.

I've noticed that his behavior, way of thinking, and even voice at sometimes, change depending on the situation, and so far have found him to have 3 "personalities".

When he is in an intimate situation his voice becomes more deep and he speaks in a different way, he becomes a bit more aggressive or assertive, and outspoken, and not shy at all, which is a contrast as he normally is very shy, introverted and calm, he is a bit insensitive and shows very little interest in people, actually dislikes most people in general, thinks highly of himself as he is very intelligent (above average IQ), has a rich vocabulary, and loves learning, but then there is his other personality, in which he becomes passive-aggressive, thinks very lowly of himself and most of the time says things like "how could anyone love me.." or such, secludes himself and doesn't respond to people or responds minimally, and is VERY sensitive.

He has told me he is somewhat aware of this, but I've gathered he believes it to be normal, and once told me it is because he has will enough to change personality traits depending on his moods, which made me worry more really.

He has told me much of him and his past as we are very good friends, but not many details and I'm afraid to ask "too many questions", or make him uncomfortable or something, but i am quite worried.

Do you think he may have this or any other disorder? Maybe light or chronic? I really need to find out more about this because i want to confront him with it and convince him to go to a psychologist, but him being a person of logic, i can only convince him if i give him enough proof that his condition is not healthy.

I really appreciate any thoughts, opinions or help in general with this. Thank you!

[SWM]

hello Miss Montford

welcome to psychologyforum.us,

your obviously very concerned about your friend and you are looking for answers to help him and also to put your own mind at rest.

the behaviour that you are describing ccould be a result of many emotional or psychological processes. so i would not like to say he has or has not got any disorder, not from the information presented. but i would say that the man you describe does not seem to be deeply troubled. that is, he is not greatly distressed by his own problems. from the details given, there is very little evidence which could be attributed to one cause and only one cause. if he is communicating to you directly that he is distressed or troubled by his past then this is a different matter.

undoubtedly he has experienced some troubles in his past and these might have left him with emotional wounds or scars, maybe helping him with those would be more productive than trying to find a diagnosis or label for him. maybe encouragement to speak to a counseling psychologist about some of his experiences rather than about a specific disorder.

being able to talk openly and directly about the problems that trouble him will allow him to understand what are the cause of his problems, if he does this with a counselling psychologist they will be able to identify through his direct communication of his problems whether he has a disorder that needs specific treatment.

having a label for your friends problems is not really going to help you or him understand his problems or find solutions to them. giving your friend the idea that you think he has some sort of problem will likely hurt him and the relationship you have with him willl suffer.

i am aware that my reply is almost a complete contradiction to your opinion in your opening post, and you do know this man well so if you think i am completely off the mark let me know.

i hope i can help you come to some sort of conclusion for yourself and your friend.

[Shell]

Please please please know that I do not speak on a professional level.  In fact, I will change my profile to state that I am not a counselor.  So, my posts on psychological matters are merely from personal experiences or opinions .. mostly based on personal experiences.

This friend does not sound as if he has multiple personalities.  For discussion purposes, I'll say he sounds as if he has narcissistic traits.  I gather this by reading this:

He has told me he is somewhat aware of this, but I've gathered he believes it to be normal, and once told me it is because he has will enough to change personality traits depending on his moods, which made me worry more really.

Narcissists are very intelligent people - or appear very well to be!  They can in fact change themselves to be whatever they need to be in order to achieve their goals.  They don't dwell on this as a flaw - they see it as a necessity. 

If confonted with these "troubles," they may be very defensive and may bark back at their "attacker."  The enemy is someone who tries to show them that their narcissistic behavior is a disorder, or that something is wrong with them.  They cannot admit that something is wrong with their behavior.  They have deep issues with self esteem and no one but they can know about it.

Anyway, that's my take on narcissism and I only say that based on what I got from your post.  So please do not take my opinion and run with it -- like I said, I am no professional and am not trained in these areas.  I've just done my own research on such things.  My thoughts on your post are purely for discussion purposes and in no way intends to help you identify his problems.

In any case, Stan is very right.  Having a label for his problems will not help either of you find solutions to them.  And yes, if you give him the idea that something is wrong with him, it might just blow up in your face.  If you and he are talking about his issues and he welcomes your concern, the best thing would be for he HIMSELF to seek counseling.  Studying psychological disorders or illnesses is not the same as being trained and equipped to handle someone's mental and emotional stability.  You might end up hurting him or yourself in the process. 

If, in time, you feel as if he may harm himself or others then that is the time to step in and obtain help for him.

All that said, welcome to the board!!  I hope you stick around and chat with us!