Schizophrenia Dementia or Regression

[adelina]

Regression?Schizophrenia?

've been through a traumatic event of being forced by circumstances to move back to my parent's home. Since then I've been feeling like a child, I often feel like hugging my mother just like a small child, I remember every little detail of vacations had with them which made me feel safe. I feel like not living the house cus it makes me feel safe. The problem is that thsese memories are very powerfull to the point they make me feel part of them. Like going to collage in the morning makes me relive the feeling I am going to school at the age of 13. Or the memory of going shopping with my parents makes me feel like it;s actually december although it's not and I'm almost ready to call them and ask when are gonna leave to the mall. (this was one of my favorite activities with my parents). I fear losing contact with reallity. Help?

Additional Details
I also have this safe feeling when I am at my boyfriend's place with his family. What is wrong with me? Schizofrenia, dementia? Also aall of a sudden I feel like reconnecting with friends from preschool some with I've never spoken in years. But it feels like it was yesterday that I last saw them/ They feel very fresh in my memory. HELP

Additional Details
I know the symptoms of schizophrenia but sometimes I feel I'm gonna lose it and live in the memory cus it seeems so intese it seems so actual like it's really happening. I struggle to hang on to the real world. I am scarred of actually calling my parents and ask them when we go shopping thinking it's chirstmas/. Up to now the feeling was so intense but I knew it was fake but it FELT like christmas although it wasn't

Additional Details
I have been treated for depression and anxiety before and done lots of therapy. This is happening to me a year after I had my last terapy session and two since I stopped my antidepressants because I had been feeling allright and in no need of therapy or drugs. I saw a therapist again recently regarging my problem but he was pretty sure I was allright. Maybe I couldn't explain him enough how intense is the sensation of the memory and feeling that it makes it seem almost real. It's scary. It scares me a lot

[HeyItsRyan]

This certainly does not sound like schizophrenia.

If you want someone to psychoanalyze you over the Internet, we need a lot more information than this. A psychiatrist would want to know specific information about your childhood, specifically if anything traumatic happened. Did you have any detachment from your parents? Did you feel resented as a child? Do you have brothers and sisters who received more attention from your parents than you did? Etc, etc.

With the right information, one can conclude a reason why you're reminiscing on these memories and why you're suddenly feeling a strong urge to be a part of a family unit.

We also need to know how old you are.

Another thing is that you're using the word "relive." But what in what sense? When you go to college and "relive" your childhood when you walked to middle school, is it more along the lines of a day dream or do you feel yourself slipping into an alternate reality, whereas you have visual and audible hallucinations of specific events?

[adelina]

I relieve my childhood in a few ways. I know I am an adult, I know what has hapened to me but suddenly instead of acting like an adult my mind tells me to act like a 14 year old me (and memories from that period come back and I tend to do or behave like then). Or in the morning when I wake up to go to collage (this is where I tell you I am 19) although I know I am an adult my mind feels to the very core the one of a 12 year old going to school and throiugh all the process of dressing, hygene rituals I feel it's the 12 year old doing them to go to school. Even on the way to the collage I remember the way I used to walk to schoool and feel like then. A child. Other times, in the mornings when it's still dark and foggy and I know it's cold I get the Christmas feeling I would get as a kid before christmas (a few days before). When we'd go shopping. It feels so comforting and warm and although I know it's autumn the sensation we're before christmas and I am a child and we're going shopping is so intense that I am scared I'm gonna lose it. Sometimes I feel like I wanna play outside or hang out with people I haven't spoken to in years and they seem so vivid in my mind that pretends it's a child again like it's only yesterday we haven't spoken. I also have moments when I wanna cry and hug my mother to feel safe. I remember moments with them and feel like redoing them and so I kinda relieve them in a way.  I am slo more talkative and my personality became a bit estranged from excessive socialising, I disliked big groups of people but now I feel like talking a lot and I even have childish thoughts which I correct or repress cus I am still an adult afterall.  ALso I hated the year before moving my mother's instrzive behaviour. Going in my room, reorganising my things, treating me like a 10 year old and not understanding I wanted space. The house felt crowded and I wanted to be on my own. Now I feel I wanna stay with them and am not bothered with these issues anymore because as a kid they didn't affect me at all. I go on holidays alone since 14 and had no problems since and never felt like calling them more than once from there or needed support because I felt homesick. I triedgoing to the mountains for the weekend. I felt like crying in the train because I of the lacking of them (this never happened to me before), felt like calling them and also felt helpless and unable to take care of myself. 

[adelina]

When I started collage at 15 I had a nervous breakdown due to realising I was a childish spoiled person who didin't care about other and had a bad behaviour. The depression which then had some bipolar signs turned into a state of numbness which helped correct my behaviour and anxiety. I don't know if it was the drugs or the time (I took antidepressants for more than an year but less than 2). Over the years that had passed until today I didin't have any anxiety at all exept before exams maybe but not out of the blues or like I used to have before every change in my life. I didin't feel like excessive talking like I used to, reduce my hyperactivity, became more responsable, independent. I don't know if a mere antidepressant can prodce such changes but I think I just grew up. Also the perception of reality changed. It didin't seem so intense so colorful like when I was a child and I being more indifferent coped with stress,deaths in family, and other in a grown up manner. ALso this numb state I am talking became permissive after a year and after 2 I functioned normally with normal emotions not too high not too low no anxiety at all and aquiped with an inner strength I never thought I had but which pushed me forward to succeeding.I felt a powerful and capable person meaning I could get things done without help from my parents or too much from other. I could handle every situation on my own. As expected from the adult I had become. It had some downs but I didn't mind. I became very attentive with my aspect, wanted it to be very very neat, I slept a lot, more than others and felt tired when I got up but once I got going I used to become active. I also didin't need anymore to talk so much to people.  Had my own group of friends which shared my interests and didin't force myself in other people's lives. My sleep was calm and almost dreamless. I had less dreams than as a child. I can't belive seroxat did all that but it was normal growing up. I first started signs of regression a day or two before moving when after 4 years of NO ANXIETY to anything I felt helpless and wanted my mother to be there with me. MAYBE I FELT HELPLESS IN A ONE WAY SITUATION. It was disturbing putting everything you own in boxes and bags. Going through the house and emptying shelves of clothes arranged nicely by me, of cups and dishes, of jewelry I had on the tv table scattered all around the tv. And then sleeping one more night there with the things wraped up and ready to go. I had to pack my home for the last months and leave. As I stood in front of the flat waiting for my boyfriend to come down and leave I looked above and the lights were still on and I knew he hadn't left yet.  And I watched them until they were switched off for good and he came down and we left. I felt really bad that night. My brain felt weird. I felt hot spots all around the inside of my head and felt dizzy. I felt congested spots and then tension reliefing from different parts of my head (inside). I managed to go to sleep taking a xanax. Next morning I woke up feeling like a child by a combination of anxiety and agitation. Since then aside from these regression symptoms I've had bipolar ones. Hypersexuallity, felt like drinking a lot, partying, smoking, felt agitated, euphoric. That very next morning I felt another person. One that only wanted to play and have fun with no resposabilities. I almost told my boyfriend, whom I had loved and never thought of leaving before, never questioned his love and with whom I've lived the most amazing times, I almost told him with a smile on my face: I don't love you anymore go home and then like a puzzle piece placed in a puzzle it once fit in I felt like retaking my life there as if I had never moved out and had to move in. Since then I       have had moments when I repel him when my inner self feels I want him to leave, I've had moments when I don't feel him at all and moments when it's like I'm looking at him for the first time (when I feel like a child mostly).  Now I feel like talking a lot with a lot of poeple and have to restrain myself from behaving like a child sometimes, I feel agitated, I feel I wanna party, have fun, I feel to small for a serious relationship (which I never felt before and which I wanted since I started highschool), I wanna spend a lot of time with my parents. The world, that I saw as an adult I now see it as a kid. It's again too bright and vivid and just to there. Everything resonates hundreds of times more with me. I fell anxious again, have an immature thinking which I correct...it scares me. I don't wanna wake up and feel 14 again. I've been given seroquel for the mod swings. What is happening to me?

[adelina]

This desire for protection I feel may come from the fact that I "lost my home" from moving and because recently we've had money issues, my boyfriend and I and struggled a lot to be able to keep the rented apartmanet and we argued and cried because of the possibility of losing it. And we never had enough money in the house in case something happened which did, our cat got really sick and we had to ask a friend for a money favor. And we had to say no to going on holidays this summer because of the lack of money and we were really sad and argued about that, but us, the both of us, were very much in love, even more than in the beginning. We didin't argue because we weren't perfect for each other but because we went through a hard time which culminated with leaving OUR home. Sometimes, knowing that if something happened we couldn't have the financial ressources I said to myself : ahh wish I was a kid again. whole lot easy... BUT I DIDN"T MEAN IT! Also not going on holidays made me thing with regret of the flawless life I had with my parents/No money struggle, always felt safe and there were no uncertenties of whether we'd not have a home or not or enough money or not or go on holidays and feel fine. I am scared, I feel I've lost all my confidence, all my inner strength and capacity to be independent. I used to be very fierce and moral. I also liked to study. Now I feel like a leaf blown by the wind. I only want to do nothing,  I wanna take longs walks (like I didi as a kid), I feel like playing ans spending time careless (partying). Where is the adult in me? The one that coped with tons of exams for collage, the one that vwanted a lasting relationsip, the one that cleaned and organised an entire house. The adult that only visited her parents once every two weeks and didin't need to clinge to them irrationally. The one that stood up for everything she did in front of the family and now just says "yes", "ok" mom"to everything her mother says because she feels like a child again.  And on top of that I have these mood swings and child regressive moments. I WANT IT TO STOP...

[adelina]

help me, please