Thoughts

[pljames]

I am beginning to believe that outside stimuli is always the trigger to any problem I have. After careful analysis I always judge the situation with something I know. Could it be that when I lose control of my anger, it seems the trigger is outside stimuli. To me everything relates to something else somehow. I am a relevatist, could that be the problem? I lose my control when I cannot handle the stimuli. I want to control the situation (if I understand it). pljames

[SWM]

you get angry because of some of the rules that you have set for yourself and others. you might not be fully aware of these rules but they are there. for example: people should be nice to each other. when this rule is broken you feel let down. if you broke the rule you would feel guilty. if other people break the rule you are angry at them. if someone does something which you believe caused you to break the rule you would be angry at them and feel guilty.

you can always control your anger but you choose not to.

the stimulus to anger is internal. it is your internal conceptualisation of the external event that results in your anger.

[pljames]

You are one hundred percent correct. I never thought. I have always been over anxious on everything I do. I am a staunch moralist and judge harshly. It seems I should "live and let live" without judging. Why do I do that? pljames

[Enigma]

I am a staunch moralist and judge harshly. 

Care to elaborate on this statement?  Where do you derive your morals from?

[pljames]

  I believe in John 3:16. but all my life I have over judged people. I should learn to go with the flow. I think it is my ego again. I have low self esteem and try to make it up by over doing niceness and to be liked. pljames