What is wrong with me?

[kamissick]

I was diagnosed with MDD - Major Depressive Disorder, I've been on anti-depressants for over a month and a half and i am still depressed from time to time, i've had this since i was a child and the doctor says it is probably genetic. I'm not sure if these medicines will work for me, as i see no effect.

However, i haven't told my doctor the fantasies and things i enjoy which others will see as abnormal. I'm too afraid and ashamed to tell my doctor, but i just might have to. I want to see if i i might have another problem...

Since a child I've always enjoyed the taste of blood as well, i peel skin from my toes, fingers, and lips and chew and suck all the blood out. I've always had an obsession doing this, i've also had sexual fantasies at night, that I'm with an unknown women and she passes out and dies. I then rape her corpse and release sperm into the inside of her giving birth to a child. Some nights I have dreams that i am a Viking (I'm descendent from them), stalking the nights during ancient times and killing villagers in their huts. Cutting off fingers and putting them on my key chain, cutting off mens penis's as home luxury, and cutting off women nipples and making necklaces out of them.

I have dreams of chasing people in ancient times, and hacking them to death and lighting the villages on fire. Etc, stuff like this that i don't want to get into in more details, i have tons of these fantasies.

Is there any other kind of diagnoses out there that relate to what i'm experiencing?? I havn't told the doctor about this, i am just depressed all the time as well and he diagnosed me with MDD, genetic related.

I do realize that this is not normal, but it brings a pleasure to me and i'm afraid to tell someone about it.