Wife (43) sucks her thumb like a 2 year old baby

[riquetez]

Hello,

My wife who is a mature 43 year old woman sucks her thumb all the time.     It really annoys me,
since we have teen (16, 14 and 12) year old children.   Every time she sits to watch TV,  she
sits on the passenger sit in the car,   she sits at the computer,  she starts sucking her thumb,
like a 2 year old baby.     With the other hand she starts playing with her hair and curlying
it around her index finger.      Very WEIRD for me.       This has created problems since she
does not like me to be on her saying:   "don't suck your thumb, you will damage your teeth",
but she keeps doing it.

Is this an addiction?   A childhood psychological trauma,    is there a problem with her personality
or brain?       Should I relax and just live with it forever?        I really do not think it is normal
behavior.

Please advise before I go crazy.

Thank you.

[anaklio]

A nice guideline in clinical psychology is "Does the client think it's a problem?" and "Does the society think it's a problem?" It seems to me, that the answer in this case to both of these questions is "No".

[voodoo scientist]

Yeah, it's really no big deal. I might even put a few bucks on her stopping if you genuinely stopped caring about it - it could easily be a control thing, and a much better one than say, overeating.

Really, don't worry about it.

[riquetez]

Thank you very much for the advise.    It seemed to me that something had to be wrong in a
person who is very professional and that makes public presentations / conferences,
but when she's at home something happened with her behavior,  so I was concerned
if it was something to worry about.          I will then give up on putting attention.   Though,
I can't stand it (she's an adult), so maybe I will do something else while she's at it.

Best regards... and thank you again for your time and opinions.

[anaklio]

It seems like you are wise not to make too big of a deal about it. But there's nothing wrong with you sitting down and chatting with them about it. Perhaps they'd be willing to appease you or compromise in some way.

I've always thought a good friend is one who makes their opinion clear and then loves the person no matter what they decide.

[voodoo scientist]

Thank you very much for the advise.    It seemed to me that something had to be wrong in a
person who is very professional and that makes public presentations / conferences,
but when she's at home something happened with her behavior,  so I was concerned
if it was something to worry about.          I will then give up on putting attention.   Though,
I can't stand it (she's an adult), so maybe I will do something else while she's at it.

Best regards... and thank you again for your time and opinions.

If she's a career woman, it's almost a classic case. In simplified terms, you can think of it as a pressure valve - while she's at work and putting her self worth on the line, pressure builds up. When she comes home and relaxes, pressure decreases via this valve. It might seem weird, but most people employ "smoking," "substance abuse," "infidelity," "over-eating" and a number of other, much more unpleasant models of pressure valve.

[drywaterdrywater]

maybe you should start sucking your thumb.. see how she reacts. maybe shell see how stupid it looks... or maybe youll see how beneficial it can be hopefully both of you dont swap the habit

[pert -5]

... or maybe youll see how beneficial it can be

Exactly.  What do they say?  "Practice makes perfect."  

[hortonpilot]

As voodoo scientist says ........
As well stop focussing on it.

Could be she does it to shittt you off and annoy you?


Horton