A Word From Pert's Sponsors #2

[pert -5]

Does your... go *whir whir whir*?
Can you take a bath without *ca ca gareee!*?
Do well-laid plans turn out unripe?
What you need is the the wirtaplugameter!

Just apply the wirtaplugameter to your drain or... whatever... and enjoy lasting results!!!!!

Testimonials:
"I did that thing where I did that thing and it did that thing."
- John, from Biloxi, MS

"I wanted something to put curlers on my hair, ya know?  So I tried it and wow, it straitened my hair so that I didn't need them there curlers.  Amazing!"
- Linda, Fond du Lac, WI

[pert -5]

You TOO can try the wirtaplugameter!  Only $22.95, additional shipping duties required!

[S. Earl Martin]

The wirtaplugameter sounds amazing! It would be a bargin at half the price.

Do it come in child sizes? I mean I am haven the troubles with the younguns and I was ta thinkin if I plugged this in their noses may B theyd stop snotting on the sofa?