Men are just happier people

[Shell]

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and  Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
            
EATING OUT
            
*   When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
*   When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
            MONEY
*   A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
*   A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she  doesn't need but it's on sale.
            BATHROOMS
*   A man has six items in his bathroom:  toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a  towel
*   The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these  items.

ARGUMENTS

*   A woman has the last word in  any argument.
*   Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

*   A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
*   A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

*   A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
*   A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
*   A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
*   A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

*   A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a  book, and get the mail.
*   A man will dress up for weddings and  funerals.

NATURAL

*   Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
*   Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

*   Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about  dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
*   A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

[SWM]

great post!

*   A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

by 1 dress size for every year of marriage. 

[Shell]

  stan!!  Not true!

[corwin137]

Of course men are happier. 

Ignorance is bliss, right? 

Patriarchy is the dominant force of power on the planet, no? 

We compel a higher wage, and we do less work!  Less relevant work too!  Think of all the true responsibility we're relieved of! 

All polytrickally powerful religions are male dominated ain't they? 

My sexual behavior can almost never be questioned, and always minimized, can't it?

Why do with a garden spade what could be done with a bulldozer I say.  If all you have is a hammer...

*Brought to you by the Department of Deep Sigh-Inducing, Self Absorbed Rhetoric and PsarChasm*

[SWM]

stan!!  Not true!

you sound ver defensive cecile! how long have you been married now?  

[Shell]

you sound ver defensive cecile! how long have you been married now?  

Going on FIVE years, Mister!  And I will proudly say that I have not moved up a dress size per year.  So  .  hehehe

Why do with a garden spade what could be done with a bulldozer I say.  If all you have is a hammer...

[corwin137]

Oh please tell me you read the part about psarchasm... I couldn't live with myselfish.   

[Shell]

haha, I did I did!  I was only teasin. 

[corwin137]

Phew.