Author Topic: (I)People who dislike you,because you have been possibly annoying them...  (Read 781 times)

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pieceofpaper

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I have one boy,who is my clasmate,with whom I want to have conversation with...He is very introverted and dislike me.because of something for what I apologized him twice(but I dont know whether it was the right one). I know he likes counterstrike and I have several questions I could ask-I need to get him talking(and feeling comfortable).But the big question mark:Is this method going to work???  Besides this method I have nothing effective to do,Im affraid...

Additional info: he is ISTJ,obedient,very anxious-how it seems to me...,he let people to do whatever they want to do with him (for example bullying...),he is very passive...

hortonpilot

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Re: (I)People who dislike you,because you have been possibly annoying them...
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2011, 03:33:01 PM »


Start talking , best solution.
Take a risk.

pieceofpaper

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Re: (I)People who dislike you,because you have been possibly annoying them...
« Reply #2 on: February 26, 2011, 10:07:00 PM »


Start talking , best solution.
Take a risk.

Yes,it is probably the best... Now I dramatically changed my viewpoint and I for sure start talking to him! Anyways thanks for encouraging me!

acousticeagle

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Re: (I)People who dislike you,because you have been possibly annoying them...
« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2011, 07:45:09 PM »
Sounds like you're a bit nervous around this classmate. I would suggest trying to relax more and yes, get talking to him so he gets to know you better.

It's possible that he hasn't quite known how to take your nervousness around him and, being an introvert and passive, as you've described, it's also possible that he takes his time in trusting individual people.

Persevere, relax and bring whatever's on your mind in discussion with him in a quiet manner.

hortonpilot

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Re: (I)People who dislike you,because you have been possibly annoying them...
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2011, 12:33:02 AM »

Things come to mind......

" the quiet wordless joy....."
I-Ching


Horton

pieceofpaper

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Sounds like you're a bit nervous around this classmate. I would suggest trying to relax more and yes, get talking to him so he gets to know you better.

It's possible that he hasn't quite known how to take your nervousness around him and, being an introvert and passive, as you've described, it's also possible that he takes his time in trusting individual people.

Persevere, relax and bring whatever's on your mind in discussion with him in a quiet manner.


Yes,Im very nervous around him in fact...and I fear that he might not want to answer me,so I would feel like an idiot again...Nothing quit helps in trying to talk with him and asking him questions-thats why I need to make so sure that he will answer,because of my feeling after it and counterstrike is myalmost last chance to get some words out of him without making significant effort... then I have several  emergency strategies if it didnt worked,but they are too stressfull and requiring being calm and great amount of concentration...  But I have one ice up in my sleeve and that is to be completelly frank and tell him what were all my efforts about(and how it made me feel),but this is way too advanced for me-so I need to try the easiest option first. to make sure it wont go other way then to make such radical step...

sorry,im not kind of person who can relax when is overarused... and if she manage to relax she will overlook  one milion other things for sure...



psy_guy

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Quote
He is very introverted and dislike me.because of something for what I apologized him twice(but I dont know whether it was the right one)
We might be able to help more if we would know more details. Sorry if this is going too deep to your personal space. I just tend to look for more facts before trying to help. And it might be just me.

Quote
But the big question mark:Is this method going to work???
Usually anxious people I know starts talking when you get to them closer yourself. Everyone is different.

Quote
Additional info: he is ISTJ,obedient,very anxious-how it seems to me...,he let people to do whatever they want to do with him (for example bullying...),he is very passive...
If he is an ISTJ and lets to do anything to him, where is his feeling of rules? I doubt he's got a rule allowing everybody to overstep his personal space. I might be wrong here.
If he is passive, he might need a push to to talk to you. I don't know your situation but a classmate's sister, a friend of mine (smart girl) has found a boy friend in the internet. We talk when I'm at friend's and he's not home sometimes. She was telling me that he was very passive, so I suggested to get him to know her, send him a photo, later meet him. That push helped. He opened up a little after the photo, she said, and he was telling her stories of his childhood when they met in real life. They are friends for almost 3 years now and very happy together. Personally I never thought that somebody could meet a nice girl in the internet (probably the same about the boys), but it seems it's possible after all.
Little off-topic - she is young, only 15, and he is 19.

P.S. If he is very closed, then how did you get the additional information about him? I mean, either he is not that closed as you think he is, or you are guessing, which isn't good. You should ask him. Offer him something in exchange, maybe homework. Or ask for his internet contacts, that should get him to talk about basic stuff, then move on to real life conversations.
Hope it helps. :)
« Last Edit: March 02, 2011, 02:25:18 AM by psy_guy »

 

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