Author Topic: 19 years my senior  (Read 1704 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Polly-Nicole

  • Probationer
  • *
  • Posts: 7
    • View Profile
19 years my senior
« on: November 27, 2009, 07:25:29 AM »
In brief: I have met a gentleman 19 years my senior with an established career, is single with no baggage. I am just about to start studying for my future career which will take me into 2012 before I am able to work in the field of study.

We seem to be suited mentally minus the 19 years life experience on his part. I would like to start a family in 5 or so years, when I am in my mid to late tweties and he in his early forties.

I am thinking this is not a good idea despite the attraction between us. I am a good orthodox woman who refuses to have casual sex before a relationship. I feel this situation will be good for the majority of a decade before souring.

Any thoughts on the differences in our stages in life?

He is a pilot and I am going to be a nurse.

-Polly Nicole

ConsciousPuppet

  • neophyte
  • *
  • Posts: 47
  • Gender: Male
  • Bring forth a pretzle so that I may consume it!
    • View Profile
Re: 19 years my senior
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2009, 03:56:01 PM »
you think this would not be a good idea, can you explain why?
-is it that he might expect sex before marriage [probably]
-is it the difference in age, that he will get older sooner
-Might experience peer pressure because the relationship isn't the norm

   The basis of man/woman relationships is "Sexual" in nature, weather it be social, psychological or physical. A man exists when he has a woman to relate to, and backwards. You can concentrate on the other aspects of sexuality if you want him to feel like a man [without sex]. Will he be willing to wait 5 years? Remember that if people are too stiff in their demands [both partners] there will be no balance in a relationship, resultingin no satisfaction >frustration> disfunction> breakup.

   if you feel attraction, do you think this might make you betray your beliefs about premarital sexual contact [or foreplay]? You guys dont have to get to sex if you dont want to, that doesnt mean you cant shrare in a physical way.
<Funny how we define meaning through meaning and reason our way to reason>

Polly-Nicole

  • Probationer
  • *
  • Posts: 7
    • View Profile
Re: 19 years my senior
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2009, 05:06:35 PM »
you think this would not be a good idea, can you explain why?
-is it that he might expect sex before marriage [probably]
-is it the difference in age, that he will get older sooner
-Might experience peer pressure because the relationship isn't the norm

   The basis of man/woman relationships is "Sexual" in nature, weather it be social, psychological or physical. A man exists when he has a woman to relate to, and backwards. You can concentrate on the other aspects of sexuality if you want him to feel like a man [without sex]. Will he be willing to wait 5 years? Remember that if people are too stiff in their demands [both partners] there will be no balance in a relationship, resultingin no satisfaction >frustration> disfunction> breakup.

   if you feel attraction, do you think this might make you betray your beliefs about premarital sexual contact [or foreplay]? You guys dont have to get to sex if you dont want to, that doesnt mean you cant shrare in a physical way.


My best explanation as to why this is not a good idea: the 20 year age gap and the consequences of ageing and different life stages, not to mention mind set and knowledge.

It is in our genetics to want to 'go forth and multiply,' therefore, I say I would not like a relationship that is based upon sex. I do not have to be married to have sex ("refuses to have casual sex before a relationship") , I think it immoral (to myself) to engage in these types of activities (I do respect other peoples choices to do so).

On the peer pressure side, I dont belive it bothersome. I am not one to be or feel pressured.

I am unsure as to which question I should compose, however I am feeling I should lead with my heart, as my mind is telling me otherwise.

I am in search for a mate, this is as primitive as it gets. -In anyones opinion or experience, would the opportunity I have in front of me make a stable and bright future?

Thank you again,

Polly

 

Enigma

  • Psychonaut
  • zelator
  • **
  • Posts: 521
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: 19 years my senior
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2009, 06:00:21 AM »
I'm going to hazard a guess that you're in your very early 20s.  That being said, you have plenty of time to find a mate.  You don't have to rush into anything now.
All posts made by user constitute an educated opinion on the particular topic in question.  This user is not a licensed professional and shall not be held liable for any consequences resulting from obeying aforementioned opinion.  Your results may vary.  Keep out of reach of children.

Polly-Nicole

  • Probationer
  • *
  • Posts: 7
    • View Profile
Re: 19 years my senior
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2009, 10:05:12 AM »
Thank you Enigma, I am thinking this is the better option, however, I have been in a relationship since my mid teens. I am not used to being single and wish to be in a monogamous relationship.

I am in my early 20's.

I believe it is advisable to get used to being alone before pursuing a mate at a later stage. I should be patient as this will take some time getting used to. Hence my topic.

Thank you again,

Polly

corey

  • Guest
Re: 19 years my senior
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2010, 06:04:14 AM »
"I believe it is advisable to get used to being alone before pursuing a mate at a later stage."

Exacty.

grasshopper

  • neophyte
  • *
  • Posts: 47
    • View Profile
Re: 19 years my senior
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2010, 07:12:12 AM »
In my layman's opinion, way too much is made of the number of years that have elapsed since any given person's date of birth.  I have seen fat slobs in their teenage years whose minds are as rigid and parochial as that of many a grey-haired old fart that I know, and I have also encountered people whose chronological age well exceeds the magic number of 40, yet who are in peak physical condition due to a lifetime regimen of intense exercise, but more importantly, whose mental acuity and cheerful, positive outlook belie their age and the societal presumptions assigned to them by others on the sole criteria of age.

In summary, a 20 year old can have the mind, body and life expectancy of a 50 year old, just as often as the converse is true, so my worthless advice to the woman who began this thread is to follow her heart, and not society's often flawed generalizations associated with age

hortonpilot

  • zelator
  • **
  • Posts: 334
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: 19 years my senior
« Reply #7 on: March 29, 2010, 02:43:23 PM »

A truthful relationship where two people are at one.
Where does age come into it ?

Horton

Zepher08

  • neophyte
  • *
  • Posts: 81
    • View Profile
Re: 19 years my senior
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2010, 12:59:35 PM »
Date this man, go to school & develop your career. Marriage is something that can happen later. Enjoy your youth!

bokkayo

  • Probationer
  • *
  • Posts: 1
    • View Profile
Re: 19 years my senior
« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2010, 06:02:50 PM »
exactly

 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
7 Replies
1837 Views
Last post September 09, 2009, 07:37:37 AM
by alloker
1 Replies
853 Views
Last post August 12, 2009, 03:30:02 AM
by Karaten
0 Replies
490 Views
Last post September 23, 2010, 01:05:10 PM
by sure
8 Replies
838 Views
Last post November 28, 2010, 09:21:02 PM
by acousticeagle


enter