19 years my senior

[Polly-Nicole]

In brief: I have met a gentleman 19 years my senior with an established career, is single with no baggage. I am just about to start studying for my future career which will take me into 2012 before I am able to work in the field of study.

We seem to be suited mentally minus the 19 years life experience on his part. I would like to start a family in 5 or so years, when I am in my mid to late tweties and he in his early forties.

I am thinking this is not a good idea despite the attraction between us. I am a good orthodox woman who refuses to have casual sex before a relationship. I feel this situation will be good for the majority of a decade before souring.

Any thoughts on the differences in our stages in life?

He is a pilot and I am going to be a nurse.

-Polly Nicole

[ConsciousPuppet]

you think this would not be a good idea, can you explain why?
-is it that he might expect sex before marriage [probably]
-is it the difference in age, that he will get older sooner
-Might experience peer pressure because the relationship isn't the norm

   The basis of man/woman relationships is "Sexual" in nature, weather it be social, psychological or physical. A man exists when he has a woman to relate to, and backwards. You can concentrate on the other aspects of sexuality if you want him to feel like a man [without sex]. Will he be willing to wait 5 years? Remember that if people are too stiff in their demands [both partners] there will be no balance in a relationship, resultingin no satisfaction >frustration> disfunction> breakup.

   if you feel attraction, do you think this might make you betray your beliefs about premarital sexual contact [or foreplay]? You guys dont have to get to sex if you dont want to, that doesnt mean you cant shrare in a physical way.

[Polly-Nicole]

you think this would not be a good idea, can you explain why?
-is it that he might expect sex before marriage [probably]
-is it the difference in age, that he will get older sooner
-Might experience peer pressure because the relationship isn't the norm

   The basis of man/woman relationships is "Sexual" in nature, weather it be social, psychological or physical. A man exists when he has a woman to relate to, and backwards. You can concentrate on the other aspects of sexuality if you want him to feel like a man [without sex]. Will he be willing to wait 5 years? Remember that if people are too stiff in their demands [both partners] there will be no balance in a relationship, resultingin no satisfaction >frustration> disfunction> breakup.

   if you feel attraction, do you think this might make you betray your beliefs about premarital sexual contact [or foreplay]? You guys dont have to get to sex if you dont want to, that doesnt mean you cant shrare in a physical way.

My best explanation as to why this is not a good idea: the 20 year age gap and the consequences of ageing and different life stages, not to mention mind set and knowledge.

It is in our genetics to want to 'go forth and multiply,' therefore, I say I would not like a relationship that is based upon sex. I do not have to be married to have sex ("refuses to have casual sex before a relationship") , I think it immoral (to myself) to engage in these types of activities (I do respect other peoples choices to do so).

On the peer pressure side, I dont belive it bothersome. I am not one to be or feel pressured.

I am unsure as to which question I should compose, however I am feeling I should lead with my heart, as my mind is telling me otherwise.

I am in search for a mate, this is as primitive as it gets. -In anyones opinion or experience, would the opportunity I have in front of me make a stable and bright future?

Thank you again,

Polly

 

[Enigma]

I'm going to hazard a guess that you're in your very early 20s.  That being said, you have plenty of time to find a mate.  You don't have to rush into anything now.

[Polly-Nicole]

Thank you Enigma, I am thinking this is the better option, however, I have been in a relationship since my mid teens. I am not used to being single and wish to be in a monogamous relationship.

I am in my early 20's.

I believe it is advisable to get used to being alone before pursuing a mate at a later stage. I should be patient as this will take some time getting used to. Hence my topic.

Thank you again,

Polly

[corey]

"I believe it is advisable to get used to being alone before pursuing a mate at a later stage."

Exacty.

[grasshopper]

In my layman's opinion, way too much is made of the number of years that have elapsed since any given person's date of birth.  I have seen fat slobs in their teenage years whose minds are as rigid and parochial as that of many a grey-haired old fart that I know, and I have also encountered people whose chronological age well exceeds the magic number of 40, yet who are in peak physical condition due to a lifetime regimen of intense exercise, but more importantly, whose mental acuity and cheerful, positive outlook belie their age and the societal presumptions assigned to them by others on the sole criteria of age.

In summary, a 20 year old can have the mind, body and life expectancy of a 50 year old, just as often as the converse is true, so my worthless advice to the woman who began this thread is to follow her heart, and not society's often flawed generalizations associated with age

[hortonpilot]

A truthful relationship where two people are at one.
Where does age come into it ?

Horton

[Zepher08]

Date this man, go to school & develop your career. Marriage is something that can happen later. Enjoy your youth!

[bokkayo]

exactly