Apologizing

[Andylol]

So I have 1 of these friends who is an advice seeker who more than less is interested in boys n shopping, she constantly talkin bout this guy,.. this guy got with her had sex wit her than broke up wit her,... to my understanding this guy was supposibly her 1st making this next part more understandable... in her hard time she constantly kept txtn me n others on her situation, an seeking advice,... I thought at 1st it was comfort and guidance she needed,... an after a period of time explaining an giving her clear sight of mind an advice she understood an got ovr her stage of grief.. or so I thought.. in evry conversation we had it ended up looping back to that guy,.. she expresses her hate toward him only to contradict herself in the end by saying how she still likes him... I grow tired of this she uses me to get him to talk about her an see how he feels about her,.. I grow tired of this quickly as well,.. in an attempt to back myself out of this I tell her that she should consider talkin to him herself,.. I tell her maybe she needs closure... she's too afraid to,.. so there's not much left for me to say to her that I haven't repeated time after time,... I finally get a chance to seriously talk wit this guy, in the end he wanted me 2 tell her 2 leave him alone... that same nite me n the grl r suppose 2 hang out she decides not to wait up for me n wants to have a good nite tonight so I tell her dnt worry ill tell her latr another day I didn't wanna ruin her nite she deserved to have fun that night... she really wants 2 know I tell her no jus go out n have fun n we'll discuss it after that she begs I say no it'll ruin ur nite n u were looking towards this nite,... she turns muttering a few things at me an walks away,... leaving me behind... she than txts me saying I ruined her nite n she hates me... I break I tell her I dnt care, we argue ovr txt,.. In the end I simply dnt care I'm not mad nor sad, emotionless I stop txtn her,... we haven't talked in days,.. So here's what I'm seeking; I wanna apologize, but I dnt know how to,... I dnt know what to say... AND here's my biggest problem 1st should I apologize I weighed the pros n cons the con won with me knowing if I apologize n we start talkin again for certain he will be brought up guaranteed by her... I'm in need of help...

[Nicki]

Well, although I don't know either of you at all, and I'm just a third party giving advice, I'm not quite sure how to be of service. I can tell you, however, what I would do in your situation. I would put things to her straight. I would tell her that you are sorry but you feel that she is acting unacceptable. By unacceptable, tell her that she needs to understand that you are not her relationship counselor and that she needs to know that the boy she's been talking about doesn't want to speak with her anymore. If she doesn't believe you, then I would save my breath and not deal with that situation any longer. But that's just how I would handle things. Other than that, I don't know what to tell you.

[hortonpilot]

Like the Fonz' tried to say,
"I was wrong."

Saying sorry or i was wrong makes you stronger, rather than weaker.

Horton

[Nicki]

I agree with Horton

[hortonpilot]

Early in the day but so what.
My pet hate in life is defensive behavior.
I makes me scream in frustration with people.

Defensive behavior coupled with denial is a max turn-off for me.

Life is like a long flight of stairs and these two are at the very bottom.

Horton

[acousticeagle]

With this girl a gentle approach would probably go well. She sounds like a very needy soul who seeks self-fulfillment through feelings of love ie., through this guy she's been going with.

What I think you could do is to let her down gently - that is - not encourage her to continue to seek you out circulusly for advice, but also explain to her that you fully understand her problem, therefore there's no need for continued discussion about it between her and yourself. Maybe you could even make her see that it isn't other people that are causing her all her grief ie., like her ex-flame or yourself (who she's perceived has let her down) but her own neediness, and how possibly she might find more strength within herself. Of course you are sorry for hurting her so you want to apologise, this will help you too.

[psy_guy]

With this girl a gentle approach would probably go well. She sounds like a very needy soul who seeks self-fulfillment through feelings of love ie., through this guy she's been going with.

What I think you could do is to let her down gently - that is - not encourage her to continue to seek you out circulusly for advice, but also explain to her that you fully understand her problem, therefore there's no need for continued discussion about it between her and yourself. Maybe you could even make her see that it isn't other people that are causing her all her grief ie., like her ex-flame or yourself (who she's perceived has let her down) but her own neediness, and how possibly she might find more strength within herself. Of course you are sorry for hurting her so you want to apologise, this will help you too.

I agree, although, the girl seems like she doesn't like, if people doesn't do, what she says, which means, that she dislikes disagreement, which often means, that such people ignores advices, even not direct, or even gets very mad. And she seems to have temper, because she needs emotions to feed herself, and she have emotions to feed another people. She's an emotional person. But I think, that that what you said, might be the best choice here though...