Can deaths of a dog and a friend affect person's other relationship 9 yrs later?

[le94501]

I noticed that I have usually lose friendships around this season.  I did not know why till I noticed that I went to the beach to relax from mental stress yesterday.  The beach is one of the few places I took my dog when she was alive; she died 10 years ago in Aug on a Weds.  My dog died 10 years ago after getting hit by a car.  I decided not to have her on her leash and let her run to the otherside of the road, to a nearby building.  When she ran, a speeding car hit her.  Because of my negliegene, I blame myself for her death.

Around that year, a friend of mines suddenly died.  I do not know how my friend died.  I was told about his death from another friend.  I never gone to his funeral nor seen his grave.  For sometime, I was mad at my friend because I thought he had faked his death w/o saying goodbye; it took me a dream (where he told me to not to be mad at our other pal, whom before the dream, I haven't spoken to since our friend's death) and 3 years to understand that he is most likely dead.

I also had two of my friend's stuff.  Something of which I wanted to return.

I was having stress about the possibility of losing a friend I really like.  Around July, she told me that there is a possibility that we wouldn't hang out as much as we did prior.  20 minutes earilar, I was stressing out to her about not wantin' to lose her as a friend since I usually lose friends (as in we no longer keep contact with each other as oppose to them being dead) around this season.  Hours before that, we went to a video store where she was asking me the name of a certain cartoon series.  I knew well about the cartoon series she was talking about since it was one of my friend's favorite animes.  I stopped watching or talking about the anime right after his death.  That was the first day I talked about the anime in a decade.  That was also the same day my friend almost ran over a dog; she was driving by herself from my house to her home.  However, she hit a dog sometime after I talked about not wanting to lose her pal.

Could losing my dog and my friend be the reason why I cannot hold onto new friends during the summer?  I am thinkin about resolving this by going to my friend's grave and putting the stuff I owe him on his grave.  Would that help?