Hello everyone! I'll just cut to the chase. I have much in common with my father: we both have an immense love of learning, we both strive to be as rational as possible, we both love odd humour, unusual music and 'intellectual' conversation, and we are both very introspective and analytical. He has told me on many occasions that I am the person most similar to him that he has ever met, and that only with me can he engage in a certain level of conversation. My parents divorced when I was three and my father eventually remarried and produced two new children, but he was always a major presence in my life, taking me on long holidays, frequently keeping me with him on weekends and having many formative discussions with me. This is why I have trouble understanding his recent behaviour. I am now over thirty (sorry, can't help it) and have been married (happily, I'm glad to say) for five years; because of my marriage I had to move to America, while my father lives in Europe. Obviously this means that I can't physically meet him very often and naturally we communicate less frequently than we could if we lived closer together. However, while I see that he is quite active on facebook, having little 'wall' conversations with his friends and commenting on 'links' and so on, he hardly ever communicates with me. If I write him an email he hardly ever answers, even if the email is full of the type of interesting little facts, analysis and quirky humour that he loves. Recently I wrote to him regarding an important practical matter, with the heading 'please do not ignore', and added, after I had explained the main issue, something about my fear that he didn't seem to be overly bothered with me nowadays. He did answer, adding something along the lines of 'what's this about me not caring about you?' and I wrote back explaining that I felt ignored. He never answered. That was about three weeks ago. Two days ago I sent another little email saying that I was hurt that he hadn't bothered to reply, and that this gave substance to my fears, but again he didn't answer - while contemporaneously engaging in animated conversations with his friends (and even my friends) on facebook! My husband saw my distress and attempted to jolt my father into action by sending a seemingly innocuous 'hello there, how's things, here are some recent photos of us' email, but he didn't answer that either. What is going on? What I want to ask, especially (but not only!) if any of you are psychologists and therefore familiar with the workings of the human mind, is this: is it possible for parents who formerly loved their children, and had a special bond with them, to become totally indifferent to them?
(And of course, any other thoughts are most welcome even if they don't answer the main question directly: I am at my wits' end).
I've posted this on another forum as well (another website, not another sub-topic of this forum), but I'm also posting it here because I don't know which site is likely to be most responsive.
Sorry about the long message, and thanks to anyone who takes the time to read it and post their thoughts!