could I secretly not want a relationship?

[username]

I know I'm not unattractive to men, yet I have never had a real relationship.
I always find something I don't like about the guy and break things off before they start.
A month ago I ended a relationship with a guy who already had a girlfriend when I met him
(he is still with her). The thing about that is that I do anything short of swearing that if he was single, that
I would date him in a heartbeat.
I don't even know what I like about him so much. It makes me think that I have some subconscious reason
for only wanting guys I can't have. Especially since I recently started getting attention from a number of attractive men
none of whom "float my boat"
Am I sick?

[psy_guy]

I might be wrong here, others will probably give you better advices or explanations, but I'll put my 5 cents here anyway.

As far, as I understood from your writing, you are saying, that you always find something. This could be interpreted as two things: 1. you always find a reason, even a small reason. 2. you just see a real reason, which isn't very small.
If it's 1, then you either don't want a relationship, or you are a perfectionist. If it's 2, then you just are unable to meet a nice enough guy, which you would like.
Although, if you might live in a dream world, while having very big expectations out of everyone, waiting for the perfect things to happen, etc..
You might be a very emotional person about your boyfriend, because you would need him to "be there" for you in your life always, you want a perfect boyfriend in other words.
I have a few more ideas, which sound even more crazy, than these and one more, which would be okay, but I don't know how to explain it... It's hard to determine, at least for me, without knowing more on how you interact with other people, your life, your chooses and dreams. And for the those two numbers (1 and 2), without knowing the reasons you didn't like these guys.

Anyway, if you want to wait for someone who actually studied psychology or just smarter than me answer your question, you don't have to answer these questions, but if you want me to try to understand you better, answer these questions, and maybe something more, you feel like I should know: What was the reasons you didn't liked other guys? Name a few. What do you think about other things you do? Can you be satisfied by something simple, just usable, or you need it to be perfect? For example, you are making a car for yourself from parts. You could get any parts, but you would need to figure out how to do it yourself. A simple, nice car would be quite a simple thing to do, but an advanced, perfect car would be much harder thing to do and would consume more time. And one more question: do you feel good alone, or do you feel like you need another person near you, like to talk, etc. (do you think you need a guy just to have him, or because you emotionally need someone like a second side of you)?

[SWM]

@username

How old are you?
What constitutes a "real" relationship?
what do you think about the relationship between men and women generally?

[username]

thank you for replying psy_guy
I would like to answer your questions: I am not a perfectionist. Sometimes I can get obsessed with something that takes a long time to do. But usually not to get it perfect, only to keep my mind busy. I any case I don't know of anyone who would call me a perfectionist..
As for your car illustration: if I were able to make an advanced car, I would make one, because I like for my mind to be challenged. If all I could make was a simple car, I would be satisfied with that also.

The reason I didn't like those guys was not the same for all of them. Wat was the same was a feeling in my body that made me not want to be with them, so I jumped at every (real) reason to break up with them.

@SWM:
A real relationship to me would be something resembling close friendship, with a physical aspect. And it has to be leading to an ultimate goal (e.g. cohabitation, marriage etc.)
Also a "secret" relationship is unreal to me.

Do you mean "men and women" vs " women and women"? Cuz if you do, I'm totally pro men and women.

[username]

to be clear, my question is: Why would someone (me) reject perfectly good guys and then lust after the biggest jerk in the bunch?

[psy_guy]

Okay, as to your last post: "lust after the biggest jerk in the bunch", please read this thread: http://psychology-forum.com/general-psychology-forum/smart-girls-psychology-do-they-like-%27bad-boys%27/new/.
It's somewhat partially about that, maybe will explain you something.