Feel that I should be over this

[heather]

deleted

[voodoo scientist]

If you're capable of holding in your mind the possibility that the other was in the wrong while also holding the possibility that you were in the wrong, as a rule of thumb, you're not insane. You go to great length to consider the possibilities in this matter, and while it's impossible to say for sure, maybe you would like to understand in great detail what happened in order to prevent similar future mishaps, so much that you're not considering whether the necessary information to achieve that level of understanding is available to you. Thus, the more you try to deduce your way down to one possible answer, the more muddled it actually becomes.

Something you can try is to assume that you are right and play it out in your head, then assume she's right and do the same. Mentally rate how probable you think they seem, then store them both away for later use - not just the most probable one. If a similar situation ever does arise, you can draw on either scenario, depending on which seems to match the pattern better.

[heather]

deleted

[voodoo scientist]

It seems like you have strong, articulated feelings on the matter, but might simply be having difficulty putting them into the right perspective. Can you verbalize for yourself the question to the answer you're looking for?

[heather]

deleted