Guilty For Not Been Good Enough

[Nyappy]

"I feel bad because... I still feel he deserves someone better but he is blind by love so he says "You're the only one for me,blah blah"
I have so many problems I have brought into this relationship,I feel that I cant fix them so quickly... I don't want to talk to him anymore,I'm not happy.Is not that I'm not happy with him,I'm not happy with myself in this relationship.My stupid trust problems makes me feel like crap and also after all the things hes done for me...And so, I feel like a horrible girlfriend and its tearing me apart these way of thinking every night. And he tries to help me but honestly sometimes he doesn't understand and prefers to avoid the problems and change the subject like nothing...Which in fact happens a lot in my book. A part of me doesn't want him to go but I also don't want him to get hurt and make him unhappy because of my issues.
 
 I appreciate you guys support,but i cant keep feeling guilty like this...And I don't even know if this has remedy yet. You guys can tell me That it does,But easier said than done. "
 
Should I brake Up with him for a Month and see How It goes?

[andee303]

We can only share that which we have. If we are happy with ourselves, then we tend to emit and share happiness with others.  However, sometimes, oftentimes, it is misery -- lack of confidence and self esteem, depression, problems from the past that still haunts us today -- that we offer.  In either case, the way we feel shows in the way we walk, our body movement, and the way we talk to others which tend to affect others around us.

It is good that you are honest enough to yourself to admit your current state of being.  That is a great step.

I am uncertain at this point what keeps him in the relationship because he did not post how he feels and what drives him.

Instead of offering you advice, I ask instead a question you may want to ask yourself:  which path would lead you to self discovery and eventually to a destination that will make you happy?  The point:  follow where your heart leads you:  what makes us happy has a tendency to make others happy, too.

Good luck,

Andy
http://clinicalpsychotherapists.com

[hortonpilot]

We can only share that which we have. If we are happy with ourselves, then we tend to emit and share happiness with others.

the whole notion of love is not simple.

I think you are being to hard on yourself?

Sometimes people just want to be with a person , seemingly incompatible but they click together like two hands across a table .

The difficult ting to deceide is are you good for this person and whether you need to consider this in the depth you are?

We can love someone who is bad for us as i have in the past, but note normally those people do not have your awareness .
That awareness comes out of maturity and consideration which you have in abundance.
fundemental qualities for a great relationship.


Horton

[Nyappy]

Honestly, it's not that I'm a bad person as it is. It's a bit deeper, because even if he has given me unconditional love and support I have a bit of a trust issue with
men. In general, men are scary to trust and I'm scared he's gonna fail me and think "with his other head" and leave me.
I'm not jealous, I leave him be and have girl friends and stuff I dont mind but... the stereotypes of men and past experiences scare me. Which makes him a bit mad because he hasnt given me a reason for me to mistrust him, on the contrary he has been great to me. And that is basically it, I have that pressure to be perfect, in every way possible so that I'm the best for him. Some of our fights start when I compare myself to other girls he used to like since I apologize to him that "I'll never be that..." or "She would've made you happier" It even affects me physically[I suffer a not so extreme eating disorder]
He says Im the best already but, it makes me sad because he honestly deserves someone more stable and better.

[andee303]

Nyappy,

I do not think that you are a bad person nor should you even consider listening to others who may suggest that you are.  However, as you may already have figured out given the way you expressed yourself, the issue in your present relationship might be your own insecurities.  Have you considered talking to a professional about this outside of the forum?  Reason is that unless you are able to come to terms with what is holding you back, this problem will recur with your future relationships.  You have a right to be happy, and I think you can.  But only if you are willing to work on what is keeping you from being happy.

I wish you luck,

Andy
http://clinicalpsychotherapists.com

Honestly, it's not that I'm a bad person as it is. It's a bit deeper, because even if he has given me unconditional love and support I have a bit of a trust issue with
men. In general, men are scary to trust and I'm scared he's gonna fail me and think "with his other head" and leave me.
I'm not jealous, I leave him be and have girl friends and stuff I dont mind but... the stereotypes of men and past experiences scare me. Which makes him a bit mad because he hasnt given me a reason for me to mistrust him, on the contrary he has been great to me. And that is basically it, I have that pressure to be perfect, in every way possible so that I'm the best for him. Some of our fights start when I compare myself to other girls he used to like since I apologize to him that "I'll never be that..." or "She would've made you happier" It even affects me physically[I suffer a not so extreme eating disorder]
He says Im the best already but, it makes me sad because he honestly deserves someone more stable and better.