how to understand woman

[ravighy]

Hi,

I always wanted to know how the women think? It's always difficult to understand them. Is it true that they think differently then man and it is always difficult to understand them?

Whats the trick to understand them?

Regards,

[corwin137]

Ask them.

To be honest, I think it's at least as much a problem with "us" (men), if not more.  Generalizing, but I think that's the soul of the thing.

[SWM]

when thinking about understanding people, men or women, it is worth remembering that everybody is unique with combination of life experiences and personal qualities that makes them an individual unlike any other individual. it is also worth rembering that there are life experiences that and personal qulities that are common to all and these make us like everybody else.

men and women have particular roles depending on the culture in which they live. perhaps understanding women would involve understanding the generic roles of women and the common life experineces personal qualities that are unique to women but also to understand individual women by seeking to understand what makes them different to everybody else.

[knight]

According to me each women in unique and it all depends on how much you understand that particular women. If you dedicate enough time and dedication to understand a women then I think you would be certainly successful in a relationship and this analysis would certainly be a little longer than expected.

[liza123]

What so difficult to understand about us? We think the same of men. I think that the key is communication, give and take, etc. Perhaps, reading the book Man are from Mars and Women are from Venus would help

[st_hart]

I don't feel like a creature from Mars
If we can easily understand other people, we should have not problem to understand women. It depends on our will. Sometimes we want to be understood and at the same time forget to understand others. Anyway, like women, men is also complicated.

[ConsciousPuppet]

     We say understanding people, but what is it about people that we're trying to understand? Going back a little bit, we want to understand people to be able to relate to them somehow. People work in function of goals, that means that when we act we already have an idea of what we want to achieve in our heads [whether conscious or not]. So we expect something from our actions. So we expect something from relating to people [always depending on the identity we give them, in this example "Women"].
     So the trick to understanding how to relate to someone is to find out what you expect to gain from the relation, what your goal is, and what the other person is expecting as well. If you get what you expect and so does she, dandy.
     The hardest part [of course] is figuring out what you want and what the other person wants. So how do we? You will need knowledge proportionally to what you want to achieve, so what do you want to achieve with this knowledge? Once you have it, you will be able to do what exactly?

PS: So what you want to know is understanding how they think. People think about what they want [interests, desires, needs, likes, dislikes] and about the obstacles they find in their way [a.k.a problems] to their goal.

[reira]

Hey what's this all about. We girls are flexible and thoughtful as always. We always feel sad when we're being neglected but if you will promise to make it up to us then problem is solved. We girls are not very hard to please. Girls love boys who are caring and honest. 

[liza123]

Hey what's this all about. We girls are flexible and thoughtful as always. We always feel sad when we're being neglected but if you will promise to make it up to us then problem is solved. We girls are not very hard to please. Girls love boys who are caring and honest. 

I agree with you. We, girls are such flexible creatures. Pay us enough attention and we are happy. I like guys who are  HONEST, understanding, loving and who respect me for what I am...not a big list surely?

[anaklio]

I think so many gender issues are people issues. Wouldn't everyone want someone who is caring and honest? Such people are hard to find. But if you look hard, you can find them :-)

[liza123]

I think so many gender issues are people issues. Wouldn't everyone want someone who is caring and honest? Such people are hard to find. But if you look hard, you can find them :-)

I will take your advice. I will start looking really hard to find one..hopefully, I do

[Coffey77]

Guys are simple.  If you really want us to do something, or be a certain way - don't "hint".  Just say it outright.  Like liza123 said, HONESTY is key.  We are only as understandable as we are honest with one another.  Many times we hide truths because we feel someone won't like us if we do ____.  ConsciousPuppet hit a point, I think. 

The hardest part [of course] is figuring out what you want and what the other person wants.

This is mostly true.  I believe the problem arises when we, as an individual, do not know what we want.  We need to find out what it is we truly want.  Until we know, the other person can only guess.  They usually only guess things that they know are good for them, not always what's good for you or what is RIGHT for you.

The other day I was helping out a friend of mine.  There were also a few other guys helping clean the place up, doing odds and ends.  I noticed my friend still appeared agitated.  I looked around and saw all of these people helping, taking care of most of the chores - so why was he still uncomfortable?  So I asked him, "What can I do to help you get more comfortable?"  Now, I could have guessed 157 things that I would have done that would have made me feel more comfortable about finishing the project and going home for the day.  Stack some bricks, sweep the driveway, paint the rest of the deck, clean out the boat...  Want to know what irritated him?  What, if accomplished, would make him happy?  If someone would go into the water and rake up some of the weeds that were growing below the surface!  I almost laughed when he said it wondering if he were serious or not.  Sure enough, once I grabbed the rake and started chopping away, he relaxed.  He was able to actually take a break and sit down with another old friend to talk about his mother who was having health issues.  I got to sit in the lake on a hot, sunny day raking weeds!  Quite the experience.

[liza123]

I did not know that guys are simple creatures. i thought that they are complicated aliens from planet Mars

[Karaten]

Hey what's this all about. We girls are flexible and thoughtful as always. We always feel sad when we're being neglected but if you will promise to make it up to us then problem is solved. We girls are not very hard to please. Girls love boys who are caring and honest. 

I agree with you. We, girls are such flexible creatures. Pay us enough attention and we are happy. I like guys who are  HONEST, understanding, loving and who respect me for what I am...not a big list surely?

The qualities you list are too obscure. Unfortunately, it's not really that simple. I've always been honest and that only causes more difficulty. As for understanding, I suppose understanding becomes difficult when people apply subjectivity to it. For example, I can look at a situation and see whether or not it's that person's fault, such as them missing a scheduled event, if, for example, some responsibly grasped them, I could understand. On the same level, subjectivity can be apply when looking at our base habits. People like to simplify, yet people themselves complex their own being. Perhaps a simplified view is apathetic, still this simplified view can greatly help in understanding each other.

As for loving, that is just a stroke of luck. Love is shown in an abstract way as defined differently amongst people. Sex sometimes applies, sometimes doesn't. Domination sometimes applies, as I said, it just depends.

Respect, well, that's a difficult thing to think of. I think if you have all the above, respect will come. It's not really something I can conceive. Respect seems to be linked to other feelings and simply a blanket term for a positive emotion.

[liza123]

I was fooling around, Karaten. But, you are right that it is not that simple. I can also relate to your comment about being honest with guys. You have some valid points about respect, love and understanding....leaving it to the guys. They are aliens

[ConsciousPuppet]

The concept of respect boils down to "aring for someone elses feelings/thoughts", maybe even existence. The opposite would be offence, which is what we feel when we dont feel respected. Its whether u show u care or u dont, and a feeling follows

[Zepher08]

Thinking here about what I consider to be the main difference between female and male and that would be the linear thinking of men and the web thinking of women. What this means to me, as a female, is that a male does not interpret as a female interprets . Then the response  or reaction differs since females tend to work emotionally/intuitively more readily. Where as males work with more with objectivity and the rational.

It would be nice to hear what it is that is confusing to you. It may not be a male female deal. It might just be a human thing and not about a difference. I consider most of the difference or issues that exist  between males and females are not in essence about being male or female but because of cultural conditioning.

I think understanding the conditions and expectations put on both males and females, which are different would help significantly with an understanding. I consider that to be  what creates a  gap.

The fact that you are looking for a "trick" in order to understand or open the unseen is key to understanding yourself.

I don't think there is any "trick" unless you consider your heart to be a trickster. There fore attempt or practice  seeing with  heart and not  mind. It is the difference of just seeing a woman as a puzzle or experiencing a person .

My answer in seeing another person has been expanding how I experience myself. perhaps I should call this a trick but it doesn't seem that quick.