Improving romance after 4yrs of marrige

[natasha]

What is your best plan to improve the romance in a marrige that is 4 yrs old with a couple that is in their 40's?
what could make my husaband happy even when when we are going through bad times with my in-laws.

I am trying to make the best out if it.... any suggestions....
 

[SWM]

what could make my husaband happy even when when we are going through bad times with my in-laws.

if you asked your husband that question what would he say?

i can only give suggestions that would make me feel more romantic but we are all different.

i like going out for meals good food, a little bit to drink, these make me feel satisfied.

i like going to places where i am close to nature/ water/ trees/ sky/ views these all make me feel in love.

i like being touched/ caressed, my hands, my neck and face, my back, when we are alone my stomach and more intimate places this makes me feel loved and wanted.

this would be enough for me, i would be thinking about marriage by now.

spend some time to listen to your husband, think about the things that he says, and try not to repsond to what he say but instead try to understand what he feels through what he says. you may already do any of these things, i dont know.

[Simplyme]

 I find that when the times are a bit tough that it is good to get away. Whether you go across town to a hotel or actually make a trip it could help. If your husband likes or even use to like romance you may want to tell him to clear his schedule for an evening and if you can reserve the hotel room and get it set up for a nice romantic evening - candles radio with your favorite CD or station some nice wine and a good meal have everything save for the candles ready before he gets there even if it needs to be set up earlier in the day. Put on his favorite outfit and come prepared with whatever it is going to take to keep his mind completely with you for the evening. If by the end of the night you just end up with good conversation in a place other than home or entangled in each others arms his mind is at least free of the daily worries and focused on you and vice versa.

[shinningstar]

I think it's a good idea to travel in different places. It's where you can relax and have time together. Why not visit Caribbean island? It's a good place for both of you. Sometimes you need to feel fresh air and new environment. At least you can talk about your relationship privately and cherish the moments your together.

[marroossia]

You might want to find time when you and your husband are at peace and decide that you will used the formula which is called "Thank you for sharing". It means that when you are on the verge of having an argument you (or your husband) will say : 'Let me share something with you". And the only response after that is : "Thank you for sharing". It helps to seize the argument and gives both of you to think about the situation. When the tension is gone romance will flourish.

[janenose]

The romance of a relationship often comes from new experiences.  Trying a new activity together might be a good stress relief and an opportunity to change your normal patterns.  After being in a relationship for a while, some things become predictable. Take that element out for a moment, and see what happens. 

[AmericanWoman]

Hi, Natasha.  Stress with in-laws (and any stress) is hard on a relationship.  Spending time together, just the two of you, should help.  What kinds of things do you both enjoy doing?  Bowling, dancing?  Going to movies?  Set aside time once or twice a week to do these things, and hopefully it will draw you closer together.

[Shell]

I think all the above replies are great.  I would like to add - stroke his ego.  I don't mean go all out and worship him, but men like to be proud of who they are - especially to their wife.

A wife should be an encourager, supporter, biggest fan, best friend, etc.  When he comes home from work looking rugged and tired, tell him he looks sexy.  Compliment him on things he does and says, the way he looks or smells.  Fall in love with him all over again.  Leave him a note in his car so he can find it in the morning, with a nice red lipstick print on it.  Thank him for doing even the little things.

People, in general, get so caught up in the day-to-day routines that we get pleasantly surprised by even the littles gestures of love.  A playful kiss on the neck when you pass him by, a ruffle through his hair, an extra hug, all do great things.  Knowing that you are still wild about him and that he still "has it" can make such a big difference to him.

Good luck to you!!

[Sniper15]

Start giving your husband head on a regular basis and be a freak in bed

[ozziemate]

I'll try and post a serious repsonse ok?

The biggest problem with relationships generally theses days and IMO the greatest reason for marriage or relationship failure is the issue of exclusion.
Normally what happens is that people seem to exclude society, the stranger, the shop keeper , the women that flirts and the men that flirt from their relationships due to the usual insecurities and jealousies that seem to persist.
"It takes more than one person to make another feel content or complete"

Is the basic premise....so allow other people to impact on your haven and consolidate your affection in doing so but do it as a team and not as individuals.
Suggestion:
"get dressed in the most sexy outfit you can find and take your man by the hand and go shopping with the view to see other peoples reactions. Undertsand that people flirt all the time as it is a great source of humor and vitality. oh and make sure he dresses flirtatiously as well"
be a "partner in crime" or should I say "partner in flirtation" and share all your fantasies...etc etc make sure you develope this before you launch though because the shock could kill him or in the least the relationship.
my 2 cents