Is it wrong to influence friend's mental development on purpose?

[psy_guy]

I've been wondering about a very interesting and tricky question lately, since I've met this girl. She seems to be very undecided who she wants to be, part of her is very chaotic, part of her is very calm. I value calmness.
So what I've been wondering is... Is it wrong to influence the mental development of a person in this case? She's a bit younger than me, and I'm more mentally developed, because I have a lot of time to spend thinking about how things work and all that... I have lots of people I can talk to, but nobody I can to with deep or intellectual conversations, and she is able to have these conversations.
So... Since she is very messy now and can go to the chaotic lifestyle and the calm one at 50/50, I want to influence her and help her to become the calm person. Mainly I want this for myself, to have a friend, there are no 'bad' or 'good' personalities...
When I think about it (might sound like a justification, and I'm wondering if it does), it would be like working as a psychologist. The difference is that parents force some kids to go there, or some kids go there themselves.
It sounds as a nice and peaceful idea to me, to get a person the 'right' direction in my eyes (all these things like drinking, etc, i don't do them, i don't show-off much, etc...), to help to choose what's good, what's wrong... Person forms himself by being influenced by the environment a lot, so it would be just like environment, except I wouldn't hold myself from saying my opinion more and question why she does that or that, etc..
But at the same time it sounds narcissistic, because I'd be influencing her to act what I think is right, she would rely on one person instead of bunch of people around her to form the personality figure out of all the mess she's got in her head at the moment. And I would mostly do it only because I want to have a friend like that, I don't want the chance to slide trough my fingers. Of course there are other reasons, but they would have only minor influence on my actions - helping a person for example, because it is unclear if that is help or not...
Sorry, my thoughts are a little bit messy, because I'm thinking about a lot of things at the moment, so it's really hard to concentrate. Hope you did understand what I wrote though.

So what are your thoughts? What do you think about such an action? Would it be wrong to do that?

[SWM]

is interfereing with somebody elses property wrong. is interfereing with somebody elses body wrong.

within our everyday relationships we cannot not influence people. our very presence with our current emotional state and the consequential responses are an inevitable influence wether we are consciously doing so or not.

the dilemna you have is whether to consciously interfere with somebody elses mental space.

not only that but the consequences of doing so might not be to your liking or her liking.

[floatingtree]

I've been wondering about a very interesting and tricky question lately, since I've met this girl. She seems to be very undecided who she wants to be, part of her is very chaotic, part of her is very calm. I value calmness.
So what I've been wondering is... Is it wrong to influence the mental development of a person in this case? She's a bit younger than me, and I'm more mentally developed, because I have a lot of time to spend thinking about how things work and all that... I have lots of people I can talk to, but nobody I can to with deep or intellectual conversations, and she is able to have these conversations.
So... Since she is very messy now and can go to the chaotic lifestyle and the calm one at 50/50, I want to influence her and help her to become the calm person. Mainly I want this for myself, to have a friend, there are no 'bad' or 'good' personalities...
When I think about it (might sound like a justification, and I'm wondering if it does), it would be like working as a psychologist. The difference is that parents force some kids to go there, or some kids go there themselves.
It sounds as a nice and peaceful idea to me, to get a person the 'right' direction in my eyes (all these things like drinking, etc, i don't do them, i don't show-off much, etc...), to help to choose what's good, what's wrong... Person forms himself by being influenced by the environment a lot, so it would be just like environment, except I wouldn't hold myself from saying my opinion more and question why she does that or that, etc..
But at the same time it sounds narcissistic, because I'd be influencing her to act what I think is right, she would rely on one person instead of bunch of people around her to form the personality figure out of all the mess she's got in her head at the moment. And I would mostly do it only because I want to have a friend like that, I don't want the chance to slide trough my fingers. Of course there are other reasons, but they would have only minor influence on my actions - helping a person for example, because it is unclear if that is help or not...
Sorry, my thoughts are a little bit messy, because I'm thinking about a lot of things at the moment, so it's really hard to concentrate. Hope you did understand what I wrote though.

So what are your thoughts? What do you think about such an action? Would it be wrong to do that?

In any relationship that we're in both parties will be influenced and affected by one another on different levels depending upon the relationship itself.   Mentally youre already effecting her because you converse fairly regularily?  In a way youre (and all of us) are responsible for how we interact and effect others/any living creature.  We all make choices, conscious or not on how we react in any given situation.  Being actively conscious to bring a positive and healthy interaction with this person is a good thing.  However actively trying to mold her mind, as you said.. is very tricky. 
Because we all have different morals, experiences, needs, etc  our opinions and realitions differ.  No one person has the know all on what is the perfect forumla for the other. 
There are obvious things that you could do to help her out - such as a lot of positive reinforcement, encouragment, loyalty as a friend, etc.  As i said, the obvious things that bring good outcomes and bring out the good in others.
Good counsel is a good remedy.

[S. Earl Martin]

I agree that we all influence those we interact with. The difference is some people are more aware of the process. This can be good or bad. When we have what's best for all involved? As our focus. That is a good thing. When we become manipulative and selfish that can be a different story. Weather it is "bad" is debatable. Some people believe the ends justifies the means.

When we are helping to mold a younger persons character? It is important to have a plan of action. Not to engage in a haphazard manner. Set clear goals and be consistant with your instruction. If the rules or goals change with your mood or temperment. Or if you require things that you are not doing yourself? They will see you as an unfit example and lose confidance in you. They might even rebel against you. I realize your situation is not the same as raising a child, but it is similar.

Another thing I have found is when we are teaching sometimes we may not know something. Or our student may know more than us. Do not be afraid to admit this. It is part of the growing process for both of you. When we are teaching? We should also be learning. If not you are not doing it right. Peace.