Promiscuos Women - Psychology

[MFUM]

I'd like to find information on how woman who have had a promiscuous past, deal with their psychology of that, and the effects on their 'serious/committed' relationship(s).

In other words, can a woman who has a promiscuous past, and who detached emotionally and physically, with low self-esteem (hence looking for love in all the wrong places) be able to FULLY ATTACH physically and emotionally to a man? How does that play into this?

If I didn't clarify this question enough, please ask for more.

I believe a woman who had this past and who has built her self-esteem and now in a committed relationship has difficulty in attaching physically and emotionally in a relationship, i.e. differentiating sex from love.

What say you?

Thanks.
M

[grasshopper]

This probably doesn't answer your question, but I have always been fascinated by the double standard which society applies to women regarding the number of sexual encounters they are believed to have racked up.

Women who have had many sex partners are accused of promiscuity or nymphomania, while men who do the same are hailed and envied as great swashbuckling conquerors, whose exploits are discussed with a giggling nudge and a wink.  Certainly, people of both genders who are sexually adventurous are probably less likely than monogamists to assume that good sex is synonymous with romantic compatibility, yet most humans do retain the potential to form emotional attachment with sexual partners provided that a preception of compatibility in other areas of interaction has developed over time.

[Enigma]

It's different for every person.  We can't give you a blanket answer that all slutty women have attachment disorders.  Some do, no doubt?  But it's a massive generalization to say that all do.  So if you're looking for advice on whether you should date a whore, you'll have to make that decision by yourself. 

[drywaterdrywater]

yea grasshopper didnt answer nothing at all but you did bring up a good point. Personally i wouldnt date her unless i was desperate or if no one i known (and cared about there opinion) had knew her and her past. but unbiasly thinking i would say go for it, you never know until you try, she could be the one and everyone deserves at least one chance.

[Sparrowhawk1161]

There is an underlying thread here.

As a man who worked in psyche as a CNA and was young enough to find young woman come to me to talk to them there is something I learned.  Socialogically life is cruel.  You will have the women who feel that their completely homely wishing that they could get a boyfriend.  And, in turn, I found the most beautiful woman asking me why life was so cruel to them.?

Women are promiscuous because they were taught to be.  Being beautiful is not easy on women.  You are expected to behave and socialize in a certain way.  If you want more info on this, I can give it to you.

Beautiful women have grown up as play things to guys...I have seen more pretty girls complaining about their beauty and how men take adavantage of them.  They want out!  They want boyfriend material.  Yet, the boyfriend material guys think they will never have a chance with such beautiful women.  It's like a "class" thing.

If you find yourself lucky enough to find a beautiful prom queen type woman..?  Tell her you love her everyday.  Get involved in all of her life...even the girl stuff.

Are you her boyfriend?  Keep proving it to her.  She has more insecurity than you realize?  Tell her you love her.  MAKE HER understand her beauty.  Let her know you will never leave.  tell this to her until YOU think she's sick of it.  She won't be.

A beautiful prom queen goes into psyche because she's tired of men treating her like play things.

Show her that everything in her life is important.  I mean down to the nitty gritty.  You gave a beautiful woman guys?  Get involved in her life.  Just don't tell her she's beautiful...show her how much you really care about her beauty.

Become color cooridinated.  Pick out her clothing for her.  How many times has a guy been asked by their girl friend if a blouse goes with a skirt and shoes?  Learn it!!!

Do love her beautiful hair?  Wash it.  Condition it and comb it out for her.  Make sure she knows you appreciate everything you do for her.  SHOW how much you care.

Do you know what's on their minds.  "He won't stay around because he thinks I'll be picked up by another guy?"  That's what she thinks.  She's so afraid you will leave her because she's "model" material.  Show her how much you care.

Women are promiscuous only because they believe that is the only way to get a boyfried.  If they have sex enough, they believe that maybe they'll rub off on you and fall in love.  There friends are telling them to have sex...and those guys are expecting it.  She wants someone to actually love her and it's so hard for her to find someone who takes her seriously...

Prove to her that you are staying for a long long time and never stop showing how much you appreciate her beauty....

Get involved.  As long as you help her with her low self esteme she will finally realize that you REALLY love her...

[iNuha]

This probably doesn't answer your question, but I have always been fascinated by the double standard which society applies to women regarding the number of sexual encounters they are believed to have racked up.

Women who have had many sex partners are accused of promiscuity or nymphomania, while men who do the same are hailed and envied as great swashbuckling conquerors, whose exploits are discussed with a giggling nudge and a wink.  Certainly, people of both genders who are sexually adventurous are probably less likely than monogamists to assume that good sex is synonymous with romantic compatibility, yet most humans do retain the potential to form emotional attachment with sexual partners provided that a preception of compatibility in other areas of interaction has developed over time.

Two thumbs, great response.

[subguy2]

the women that i have been involved in that had many lovers didnt seem to take intimacy too seriously. i dont think they were desensitied, i think they were more accustomed to "exposure" and acts that others seem to consider "special"
one woman in particular attempted to swallow my cum during her my first oral experiance with her. to her it was what she was usto doing and enjoyed it. i also found they are the best teachers cuz they know what they want

[jb67]

i do believe that most women who are considered promiscuos are indeed quite self assured they know what they want and are comfortable with themselves i in the past i have met women who have had very little sexual experience but have also had given me oral sex to completion because of what i beleive was based on what their perception of what sex was wether on their on or with a cuckold watching husband being made to feel valued and important after the act and free of guilt as well as engaged i see as being  fundamental. so subguy2 i agree with you almost 100%

[hortonpilot]

M,

this supposes a couple of things and i don't like the double standards.

Firstly i don't think a woman that has only had two partners in life is full of worldly answers , what can she know about life ?

Determinant for strong relationship may have no relationship to sexual frequency?
Other factors exist.......

Your idea suggests one can have many sexual partners and the experience is meaningless.
BS!
For many it is a liberating experience that makes them a greater person.
You then suppose the fewer partners the more meaningful the relationship.
Doesn't hold water as an idea.

* "and who detached emotionally and physically,"
This could describe many people who are married!

* I don't doubt that multiple partners can be sign of disfunction but it is not the case as often as you would think.
Some people just like sex and it can be very honest and giving, which is all you can ask for.

* "I believe a woman who had this past and who has built her self-esteem and now in a committed relationship has difficulty in attaching physically and emotionally in a relationship, i.e. differentiating sex from love."

* Self esteem  can be a problem for people who have conservative sexual attitudes and experiences.

Commitment is another issue, finding the right person can help?
Many people commit when they should not.

Attitudes which destroy a marriage have more to do with societal and family  values than sexual past.
Most people give up and find marriage to challenging , failing to take responsibility for their actions.
"Grass is greener on the other side".

Sub-text of life and values we see in our childhood and those we aquire really determine how we function as an adult .
People from religious homes don't always turnout as we would expect , which is why i mention the sub-text.
Conversely some people have clear goals which they have worked out in spite of their past.

Kids from broken homes or blended families don't always have the right imprinting and i feel for them they face difficulties acting outside the situations they know. Parents in these situations are not always honest and saying what you mean sometimes doesn't happen because you have your own problems.
Personal responsibility and that which we take towards others is well marked and full of choices.
For some it is difficult?

In all our behavior is a reflection of our experiences and the state of our heart

Horton