repeating infatuations

[red_riding_hood]

Hallo people,I really hope to get some useful feedback from you.I am new in this forum.I started seeing a psychologist - it's been 3 months now, but I am not sure if it helps.
Here's my situation.Few years ago I met a the man "of my dreams" - first I didn't even get it then it turned into an obsession which made me do things I am still sorry about.Anyway,the man broke my heart.I started sleeping around to prove myself I am over it but then showed a man who really reminded me of him and the story started all over.First I thought nobody can hurt me as much as the previous guy but I was wrong.We had a long distance relationship, he was obviously not good for me,nevertheless I was seeing him as an angel.Then I changed the country and he told me he loved someone else - from then on,it's been 3 years,I stopped eating meat - I just naturally lost desire for this meal. I stopped talking to him. I was broken...Then I met another one - the same type of guy,we worked together,this time I decided to wait and see how he is before I jump into it.So I saw he had a girlfriend - it made me cry,really!Anyway,what confuses me is that I adored him but I kind of built wall against him - if he was sitting on one table,I'd sit on another,if he was passing around I'd pretend I don't see him,he noticed all this,he was flirting with me I believe.I had the opportunity to go out with him,know him better,but I got confused and I didn't.Since then the thought of him is haunting me and it's driving me insane!I just don't know what to do and I am ashamed of myself - it's been a year!I can't go out with other guys,it's like I am stuck with one type I want and that's it...I can't even make love to guys that are not him because I start crying - it happened already 3 times...I am totally dysfunctional.
I am trying to meditate and do other things and slowly get detached but I am afraid I have the tendency to get infatuated after the same type every time and he's just not good for me...
What would you advise me?How can I change my type?Why am I attracted to bad boys who just take advantage of my feelings?
Thank you in advance!