should i do something about it? quicker answers would be perfect.

[psychologistic]

i have one girl's number and i've met her maybe 4 times in a period of 5 months. she says that she wants to go out, do something together when i ask her if she wants to, which is of course an obvious answer, because people don't want to hurt other people, but she never offers to go out. we both are quite shy personalities, both are unconventional. the thing is that when i mention going out a few times in a conversation or uncountiously ask her to go out, not directly, then she offers to go out. without that - she never offers to do that. however, when i do that, from her answer, i can 'feel' that she doesn't want to go anywhere with me and she does that only because she feels a need to for some reason. she is a very caring person and she doesn't want to hurt others, she is 16 years old, i am 18 (soon 20)... so since she knows a lot about me and she knows that she is the only person i talk to openly, i think that she might not want to hurt me and just goes out with me coz i want to. i do not like that, because i want her to want to go out, or i want to stop this strange relationship.
i've never had a girlfriend in girlfriend terms including sex, nor as a friend, just a person i talk to. i don't have a good friend at all, in fact, because my values are very strict and i don't like most people, what they do, etc..
recently she has been outside my country for 2 weeks, now she is back but she didn't call me. (we've met a day before her flight) i didn't call her too, but i didn't know when exactly she is going to be back, and she knows that, so she was supposed to call me when she will get back. well, not supposed to, but i think that she should've called, if she wanted to meet. she is back for 3 days now.
the problem is that i don't have a person i trust except her and i don't know if i will ever find another opposite gender person who i will like to talk to and trust, because my situation is bad. i will finish school in 2 years and (i'm in 10th grade now) and i will probably have to go work a low-life physical job only because our family doesn't have money, and i will not be able to continue education, even though my iq is over 160, according to a real-life test i've done. as i mentioned earlier - i have very strict values that most people doesn't contain these days, and i am very shy. i am also not going out anywhere, i wouldn't want a friendship with a girlfriend who needs to smoke or drink alcohol to have fun. i don't like most 'average' people, because i demand interesting and meaningful conversations... so it is really hard for me to find somebody i would like, and this is a person i like. she's got big minuses though, i don't like that she sometimes acts mean, not with me, but in general, with other people, she goes out with other males, i am kinda jelous, even though i don't want a sexual relationship, nor does she, so without that - you shouldn't be jealous.
now there are two solutions to this problem - leave the relationship from my side, don't call her, don;t show that i know that she is back and just wait and see what happens. i think that it would end the relationship. another sulution is to call her and to ask her out, which if i'm right, would trigger the sorry feeling of her's and would make her go out only because of that.

the problem with the second solution is obvious - i want her to want to go out, or i want the relationship to end, because i don't want somebody to go out only for the reason to not hurt me. when i meet her in that case, i feel like i would be using her...
the problem with the first solution is that i am afraid that i won't live that long to find another person i like, especially in my situation which probably awaits me. by that said - i have to add that i do not have anything i enjoy doing, because as i mentioned earlier - my family is poor, so i cannot afford to buy anything, and money is required for every hobby i have, and i have a lot of them. so only thing i enjoyed doing was going out with her, i think it's good for me too, because otherwise i sit at home all day... so it is really hard to get my mind off of her, because i cannot find anything i enjoy doing, which means i do not have anything else to occupy my brains with... which also means that it is hard for me not to take an action...

so here is the dilema - let it go and not call her, see if she cares about me and remembers me and feel sad... or call her and ask her out, which would lead me to a feeling that i am using her and a mystery if she wants to meet me or she does that on purpose.
i'm not asking you to answer this question, i'm asking to philosphize, comment, write your thoughts, that might help me to live trough this situation that occurs the first time to me...

[SWM]

it doesnt matter what the outcome of this scenario is you will still have the same problems and conflicts with in your self. you might accomplish more investing your time in figuring out where these conflicts within yourself come from. 

[psychologistic]

yes, that is true, SWM, that is why i decided to make a post after not being able to solve it completely by myself.
i think that the conflict is coming from me wanting for her to be happy as well as for me being happy. i don't want for her to do something only coz she feels sorry for me. i want meaningful relationship with a person, and so the person should. since my personality contains a thing that makes me think that others have hidden motives and distrust in others, i am thinking about that she doesn't want that relationship... i cannot change my personality nor do i want to, because most of the time - my suspicions are true. but despite the fact that she doesn't want it - i do.
so there is the conflict - i like her and i want to have a relationship with her, but i want the relationship to be meaningful, because my values of a friendship are set on high standarts, i don't want just any relationship...

[thepostman]

This is probably going to annoy you, but i didn't spend all this time typing it for that. I did it because there is so much to life you will miss out on if you don't confront those demons and that would be a shame, there's a good person in there.

i have one girl's number and i've met her maybe 4 times in a period of 5 months. she says that she wants to go out, do something together when i ask her if she wants to, which is of course an obvious answer, because people don't want to hurt other people, but she never offers to go out.

An alternative explanation is that she does want to go out but lacks confidence in her ability to choose somewhere. If you were to think up an exciting, unconventional place to go that is different or contains aspects you both like maybe she would have a great time. It's not obvious at all, you've made an assumption she is lying and accepted it as true. I could probably sit here for half an hour coming up with plausible explanations. What you have there is a theory.

we both are quite shy personalities, both are unconventional. the thing is that when i mention going out a few times in a conversation or uncountiously ask her to go out, not directly, then she offers to go out. without that - she never offers to do that.

You're putting far too much thought into this. Accept you're not the magical mind reading god and can't predict the future. Take the girl out and find out if IN REALITY she enjoys it instead of running the whole thing endlessly through your head.

however, when i do that, from her answer, i can 'feel' that she doesn't want to go anywhere with me and she does that only because she feels a need to for some reason. she is a very caring person and she doesn't want to hurt others, she is 16 years old, i am 18 (soon 20)...

You cannot 'feel' that, your feelings come from YOUR brain they are not beamed via satellite dish from her body to yours. See if this feeling stands up to to rational, evidece-based proof or if it's just "a feeling" (from YOUR brain).

so since she knows a lot about me and she knows that she is the only person i talk to openly, i think that she might not want to hurt me and just goes out with me coz i want to. i do not like that, because i want her to want to go out, or i want to stop this strange relationship.

I got a much better idea, you worry about YOU enjoying the relationship instead of criticizing it as strange and let HER worry about HER enjoying it? Why is it strange? To shy youngsters share each-others company. Shocking! By the way, the reason you 'feel' things and find the relationship strange is you lack self-confidence and it's manifesting itself in this way. You cannot accept the she MIGHT actually LIKE YOU. Be a man, admit it's true. You should get counseling before it gets worse. Do your homework, choose a nice guy or girl according to your preference and they will help you sort those feelings out. If you go through your 20's carrying those around you will turn around and regret not being brave enough to sort it out in the future.

i've never had a girlfriend in girlfriend terms including sex, nor as a friend, just a person i talk to. i don't have a good friend at all, in fact, because my values are very strict and i don't like most people, what they do, etc..

You're still quite young there is plenty of time for sex, plus it would be very hard for you as uncomfortable as you are in your own skin.

recently she has been outside my country for 2 weeks, now she is back but she didn't call me. (we've met a day before her flight) i didn't call her too, but i didn't know when exactly she is going to be back, and she knows that, so she was supposed to call me when she will get back. well, not supposed to, but i think that she should've called, if she wanted to meet. she is back for 3 days now.

Perhaps she thought it was all a bit intense and wanted to create some breathing space. Perhaps she wasn't thinking about it at all and was reading a book. This is really nothing, please don't worry about it...

the problem is that i don't have a person i trust except her and i don't know if i will ever find another opposite gender person who i will like to talk to and trust, because my situation is bad.

Actually, it's your confidence that is bad, not your situation. Girls love a struggling man, being in a bad situation is does not put them off. If you have the guts to do something about this instead of pretending it doesn't exist or not is up to you, but the older you get the harder it will be. You do not have to do it alone, your life will be so much better after you sort it out. NO REALLY, IT REALLY IS POSSIBLE! There are 3 BILLION GIRLS in the world and SHOCKINGLY, it's JUST ABOUT POSSIBLE that out of 3 BILLION GIRLS some of them will like you! Stop denying it's possible and get yourself off to a counselor so you and that massive brain of yours can get a nice pretty with values and start enjoying life.

i will finish school in 2 years and (i'm in 10th grade now) and i will probably have to go work a low-life physical job only because our family doesn't have money, and i will not be able to continue education,

This will drive you crazy. You could save up for some money to go to continue education, even if it takes some years out of your life? There must be people in your country who can point you in the right direction, when you get the stones to find a counselor you could ask them, or your teachers? I'm sure your teachers would know?

even though my iq is over 160, according to a real-life test i've done. as i mentioned earlier - i have very strict values that most people doesn't contain these days,

That is a big IQ. When you admit your emotions are fragile and accept it won't weaken you to see a counselor (to yourself, that's the only person you have to admit it to) then you'll probably be pimpin' like Einstein.

and i am very shy. i am also not going out anywhere, i wouldn't want a friendship with a girlfriend who needs to smoke or drink alcohol to have fun. i don't like most 'average' people, because i demand interesting and meaningful conversations...

You want a girl who is a friend who will have sex with you because you are a man with a penis. Absolute monster IQ aside, you are still a man. Not saying you should rush out and jump into it though... see a counselor? You'll be surprised to find out just how many people are capable of deep and meaningfuls once you're less fragile.

so it is really hard for me to find somebody i would like, and this is a person i like. she's got big minuses though, i don't like that she sometimes acts mean, not with me, but in general, with other people, she goes out with other males, i am kinda jelous, even though i don't want a sexual relationship, nor does she, so without that - you shouldn't be jealous.

You are in denial it's too painful to accept you really do want to have sex with her because you have already decided you are unworthy and she couldn't possibly want sex with you so therefore you pretend the whole thing isn't there. That's OK though, a lot of guys start out like that. You shouldn't try and get sex with the girls until you are willing to admit if you fail it will either be your shyness or they're just picky. With girls, it's 90% about shyness (better said, confidence). Use the cheat mode, go for the counselor! The ladies await you...

now there are two solutions to this problem - leave the relationship from my side, don't call her, don;t show that i know that she is back and just wait and see what happens. i think that it would end the relationship. another sulution is to call her and to ask her out, which if i'm right, would trigger the sorry feeling of her's and would make her go out only because of that.

Just phone her and say oh hi, did you enjoy yourself etc, what did you do, ask her about her... and don't make it so weird-pretend-I-don't-want-sex-with-you-when-I-really-do-style. For gods sakes don't tell her though, that probably will frighten her off, but only because you're so shy, I promise on my mothers grave that if she has shared this much time with you, the only reason you wouldn't be boyfriend material is shyness. You can't just cure it by being brave and starting to blurt out I want the sex though.

the problem with the second solution is obvious - i want her to want to go out, or i want the relationship to end,

YAY! See, here you FINALLY admitted you WANT her to GO OUT WITH YOU which contradicts ALL THE LIES you put up above but maybe you would prefer to hear YOU call YOURSELF a liar than to hear it from me, might be more palatable. You don't really need to end the relationship it will stop being so creepy and intense if you back off for a bit. Instead of resenting her for not giving you the girlfriend experience when it's your painful shyness which stands in the way.

Why not just phone her up and say "Oh hi. Listen, I know it's a bit silly but I'm so glad we're friends. Thank you for sharing that with me. Did you enjoy your travels?" then have a brief, no more than 2 minute conversation where you try and do nothing except ask about what she got up to paying attention to anything she seems to enjoy and ask her more about that so she can relive it. After 2 minutes interrupt her and say "Look, I'm really sorry but I've got to go. Speak to you soon OK?" then promptly hang-up and put the phone on silent (or don't answer it if it rings). It will take some of the whole creepy-weird thing away if it goes through properly and you can then invent a reason for having to dash off like that.

Then you can sort yourself out with a counselor and girls will start to be fun not creepy and weird.

because i don't want somebody to go out only for the reason to not hurt me. when i meet her in that case, i feel like i would be using her...

It would help you if you stopped running yourself down with this "I'm so unworthy they only bother with me not to hurt me". Even if you really were that wretched and she was only trying not to hurt you who cares? If she doesn't want to hurt you, that's a good thing! Not everyone would bother. BUT, it's probably not true. As before, you let HER worry about if and why she spends time with you. You are NOT CAPABLE of using her, you can barely even telephone the girl. Don't be so daft.

the problem with the first solution is that i am afraid that i won't live that long to find another person i like, especially in my situation which probably awaits me.

When you discover just how much easier picking women up is when you have a bit of confidence you will laugh your ass off at that comment. You will be able to sort though them until you find one who meets your requirements. That's what boys and girls must do to find their ideal partner. As the girls say, you have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince. Really though, you've put this girl on a gigantic pedal-stall. Girls do not like that from their boyfriends in general. You SO will find plenty more girls. I'm even a bit worried about it, who really wants a confident guy with a 160 IQ competing for the women? Still, it's not up to me, it's up to you.

by that said - i have to add that i do not have anything i enjoy doing, because as i mentioned earlier - my family is poor, so i cannot afford to buy anything, and money is required for every hobby i have, and i have a lot of them. so only thing i enjoyed doing was going out with her, i think it's good for me too, because otherwise i sit at home all day... so it is really hard to get my mind off of her, because i cannot find anything i enjoy doing, which means i do not have anything else to occupy my brains with... which also means that it is hard for me no
t to take an action...

TV, books, jerk off, make a meal, do the garden...

so here is the dilema - let it go and not call her, see if she cares about me and remembers me and feel sad... or call her and ask her out, which would lead me to a feeling that i am using her and a mystery if she wants to meet me or she does that on purpose.
i'm not asking you to answer this question, i'm asking to philosphize, comment, write your thoughts, that might help me to live trough this situation that occurs the first time to me...

Don't tell her you want "to go out with her" unless your happy to frighten her away. Going from creepy-weird half-denying I actually want "to go out with you" never sits well with the ladies.  The good news is, even if you do frighten her off you can more than likely refuse to have any contact with her at all for about 3 months, during which time you could have gone to the counselor and sorted yourself out somewhat then go and find her and say the words which naturally come at that point she would probably see you again and might even let you take a pitch.

Good luck!