Where to start?! I am truly hoping that somebody will be able to offer my friend and I some help.
I am dating a guy(23) who has 4 sisters (21, 19, 14, and 10) and One brother, 17. I will call them by their age. Their parents will be M (mother) and F (father). I will be A, and my friend will be R. I am going to give her access to this user name, so she can post her side of things should she want to.
I will start with what I know.
I am not proud to admit I am living with my boyfriend (23) and his family.
I live with my boyfriend and his family. We believe his mother is not mentally sound. She seems to be manipulating all of her children. Her husband does as well to some degree. For example, they have told my boyfriend 23, that if he got good grades when he was in high school, that they would give him access to their credit cards. He did well in high school, he got the credit card. Now there isn't really anything wrong with this. But that was way back when. He is 23 now. They bought him a used truck as another reward in high school for good grades. They told him that they would cover the cost of the gas and the truck payments as long as he got good grades. he continued to do so in high school and and when he graduated, he wasn't able to go AWAY to college. he HAD to go to a local college and live at home, because THEY had paid for the truck and gas. but 23 doesn't see this as THEIR decision, he sees it as his. when or if I ask him, he says that he wouldn't have really wanted to go away after all. ... I don't believe him...
Now here's some more random things, yet still disturbing!!
His parents have also bought over 100acres of land-- for their kids (they have 6 total!!), and each of the kids gets an equal share of the land. They bought their kids this so that they wouldn't move away. And I know what you're thinking, they'll grow up and move on and get over it. Well I just can't emphasize to you enough how much all of the kids fight over Mommy's attention.
For example, the two youngest sisters both SLEEP IN BED with their parents. I think that is completely wrong. They did HAVE a bed in the room, in fact, they had their own rooms. But they ended back up in bed with mommy. the 14 year old can't spend the night at other kids' houses because she "just isn't comfortable" or she "can't fall asleep" at night. everyone knows that she just doesn't want to be away from her mom. She went away to a camp for two weeks... and they weren't supposed to call the parents unless there was an emergency. Well of course she went to the camp where 23 and his sister(21 ) (who also doesn't want to leave mommy) go to college. His sister (21) worked there over that summer, so they would sneak into the bathroom together and call M from a cell phone so (14) could talk to mommy.
Interestingly enough though, only 23 and his sister (21) are the ONLY ones to comfort M when her mother passed away last January. Not ONE OF THEM CRIED except M. they never explained death to the 10 year old. And now F's sister is dieing of terminal brain cancer and she (10) thinks her aunt is ugly!!!! MIND YOU this 10 year old's favorite movie is SHOW GIRLS! And she has thongs, she used to grab my boobs when I first started dating her brother, and knows all about sex! Now granted, their mother IS a gynocologist, but you would think that if your child can know about explicit sexual acts at age 5, then she would be able to comprehend death at age 10. She is very mature for her age in some aspects. But the parents don't talk to her about death?
Even when an animal dies that they know is getting older, they don't cry. they don't care! They just replace the animal!!
And let me tell you, 14 is a HUGE animal lover. I theorize this is because M is as well. Last spring a dog of their (Okay, I love dogs, but this dog defecated all over the house, it shook and barked and had lots of issues, so it wasn't my favorite) but this dog last year, was outside and ran after a car and was hit by another. When this dog died, 14 cried into the night and the next day she was sent home from school because she was throwing up uncontrollably. now this winter, their old st. Bernard died, and did one of them cry over it? The dog was so old and ill that they had to have the vet come to the house to put her down. 10 walked IN ON the dead dog before they were able to move her out of the house and didn't even react. YET when her fish died in the fall, she couldn't stop sobbing. When in the spring, one of their ducks died shortly after birth, she couldn't stop crying. And yet this girl is pro abortion?!
Their mother weighs about 100 lbs. She is almost the tiniest lady I have ever seen. She refuses to eat vegetables, she hates them and when forced to eat them, she has to drink water to get it down. Of course all of her kids want to be like Mommy (except - in this regard, 23 and (21)) so they of course! -- all hate all vegetables too! It's so unhealthy!! I really do like the family as a whole, but they are SO manipulated by their mother. M's mother died of a blood clot that went to her brain. she had this blood clot, not because she didn't exercise, but because she ate little debbies all day long. she was a TINY woman, weighing less than M but with the same eating habits. Now, even with this knowledge, M doesn't try to get her kids to eat healthier? No! In fact for christmas 23 bought his family an ice cream maker attachment for their kitchen aid mixer. so you would think that this would be for special treats right? Well ACTUALLY they have ice cream for breakfast every morning!!! Now you're thinking, wow they're fat!! Nope, 17 is probably the most physically ripped person his age I have ever met. He has had a 6-pack since I can remember... age 11 or age 12 for sure. 14 is perhaps getting a littler pudgier, but she is by no means fat. She still wears a size 2 jean. and 10 is just solid muscle along with 21. 19 is definitely putting on the chub. and 23 drinks so much milk a day he actually dietetically doesn't need to eat any meat just because of the amount of protein that he takes in. 23 isn't as thin as the others, he's more a lumberjack (literally, he helps his father split trees for their wood boiler)
They don't care about privacy. You can be in the shower, and if the door isn't locked somebody will come in and go to the bathroom while you're showering. This wouldn't be so strange I suppose, but I'm not related to them. And they are in the bathroom while I'm shower.
R and 17 made dinner once. R made sure that there were only vegetables in it that 17 liked. And as soon as M came home, she told them how nasty it was that they were eating vegetables. And of course 17 and 14 immediately said something along the lines of "yeah, i really like it EXCEPT for the ICKY vegetables that are in it" and then refused to eat the vegetables.
I once tried to give 23 and 17 directions to a school I passed on my DAILY commute to work. They would NOT listen to me because they had to go there the way that MOMMY wanted them to.
R's mother says she can't stand having a conversation with M because all she does is talk about herself and how wonderful her kids are. Yet M doesn't even bother to ask R's mother how R's family is.
This summer R and I (A) went on a family vacation with this family. Well obviously since there were 10 of us we needed to take two cars. R and A wanted to ride with 23 and 17 obviously and we thought that maybe F or 19 would like to ride with us. But 10 and 14 being "Little Girls" started crying because 17, who is the obvious favorite of the two boys, wasn't going to be able to ride with them. so poor R had to ride with 10 -who she can't stand, and 14 who follows her around all the time! and Oh- since M is so small, on this SUMMER drive to vacation, they couldn't drive to vacation with the AC on. It was stifling hot.
I realize I haven't said much about 21 and 19. 21 just finished college with two bachelors degrees a semester early with a 4.0 in each. She is now getting paid (and her tuition is taken care of) to go to med school by her school. she has never had to pay for anything in her life that she didn't want to. 19 is rather special. She is lazy. If she could have it her way she would just sit in front of the tv watching friends all day long eating cookie dough. but she can't sit quietly. she has to sing at random... off key i might ad, and most annoyingly. Say you're watching a movie that you love and 19 has watched it before as well. Well, you're going to hear the lines to the movie twice! Once when they say it, and another time when she says it. trying to sound exactly like the actor did. This is especially annoying when she watching shows that you hate. Like Friends.
Please. Does anyone else see this as strange? Does anyone have any suggestions as to how we can deal with our boys? I love 23, and I know R loves 17, but it's so hard to me (A) to live with the family since they are so strange. They don't understand our point of view. Does anyone have any theories what is wrong with M? She seems to need attention from her children.
I can provide more details later. I think I'm all burnt out on this matter for the moment. But please tell me what you think. Why this lady needs her kids attention and presence so much. I understand loving your kids, but she is giving them issues!
Topic: The craziest family ever! (Read 685 times)
June 20, 2008, 09:00:40 PM